[CNBCfix Fast Money Review Archive — September 2016]
[Friday, September 30, 2016]

Massive chart fart: Carter Worth with no catalyst declares DB ‘grim’ a day before it rockets 14%

Fast Money is supposed to be about making a quick buck in the stock market.

Carter Worth was given 4 minutes on Thursday's 5 p.m. program to warn everyone against buying DB, stating "it's all pretty grim … I think the cautious money or the cagey money either way has to presume that this goes lower … there's no telling how far it can go … I think lower."

Worth complained that DB is the same market cap as Vulcan Materials, as if that is a sell signal.

Worth even asked, "What makes someone, taking all the facts, say, right now, I gotta go out and get me some Deutsche Bank shares."

The answer to that question apparently would be a report that the Justice Department will settle for $5 billion.

As it turned out, anyone who was buying DB during the 4 minutes Carter was allowed to trash the stock was actually up 14% in barely half a trading day.

Like they say about free advice …

Josh asks best question heard on the show in months, doesn’t get the best answer

Not everyone on the Halftime Report was sold on the big DB move Friday.

Jim Lebenthal said the gain "reminds me way too much of the exact stock chart for Lehman and Bear Stearns in the spring of 2008."

Stephen Weiss said Lebenthal was a sub commander, and now he's "chicken little."

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, sitting in with the gang, wrote off DB's troubles as just "a crappy prime brokerage that isn't very profitable."

Rob Sechan said DB is not a "systematic issue" but an "earnings issue."

Josh said we shouldn't use DB and Lehman in the same sentence.

Josh Brown astutely pointed out that the S&P was virtually unchanged for the month, which began (as Septembers always do) with all the warnings about how "this is traditionally the rockiest month of the year in the stock market!!!!"

Adam Parker, also sitting in with the gang, said he likes U.S. stocks and can't imagine one European bank changing that outlook.

Josh Brown asked Parker a tremendous question: "Do you think that there's a lot of people in the industry that actually need Deutsche Bank to be, to be the next Lehman, to justify a lot of the things that they've been saying for years and years now."

Parker said some people's "rhetoric" is more negative than their actual positioning.

Mohamed El-Erian said DB is not a Lehman moment, but, "it's a lot of other things."

El-Erian did mention "contagion risk."

Chris Whalen said DB fears are "overblown" and that "we don't see any credit issues with this bank" and that "it's the statements by politicians, which are not well-considered."

Whalen believes in that observation so much, he made it about 3 or 4 times.

Mohamed El-Erian thinks Fed might realize in December that having rates low for so long will cause long-term issues and decide to hike

Rob Sechan on Friday's Halftime Report made the mistake of telling Steve Weiss that hedge funds have "massively underperformed."

Weiss insisted that investors demanded "low vol" and "forced them into this."

Weiss said he doesn't like emerging markets. Sechan though insisted "it's a completely different funding regime (first time we've heard that term too) today." Weiss said he doesn't disagree, but he still doesn't like emerging markets.

Sechan said this reminds him of the "grinding" market of 2014.

Jim Lebenthal, as expected, praised the QCOM upgrade. Adam Parker sought to distinguish between "value tech" and "growth tech." Parker clarified to Judge that "value tech" can be called "old tech."

Parker said someone who faults the Fed for a "policy mistake" is someone who's "underperforming."

"I think they move in December," said Mohamed El-Erian about the Fed, suggesting (hilariously but with a straight face) that they could choose to hike over concerns about long-term problems of having rates so low for so long.

El-Erian told Josh Brown that one has to be more "tactical" than "strategic" these days.

El-Erian actually suggested Trump (snicker), if elected (snicker), could announce a bunch of tariffs on Day 1.

Steve Weiss touted OA, which was seconded by Jim Lebenthal.

Scott Nations suggeested 2.805 as the next level in nat gas. Jim Iuorio said he'd "take a shot" right now at being long.

Adam Parker said stocks of companies that aren't very gender diverse "are more volatile."

Mel actually said "what a difference a day makes" in the Power Lunch teaser.

Karen Finerman, looking great in blue on the 5 p.m. Fast Money on Friday actually sounded like a Najarian, stating she decided to buy out-of-the-money calls in DB under the notion that 10 basis points is being risked to make 50 basis points. Mel also welcomed Seema Mody in black, and the crew said goodbye to producer Courtney Gartman; all 4 look set for a dynamite weekend.

[Thursday, September 29, 2016]

Dick thinks he got the shaft, isn’t sorry (cont’d)

It's mind-reader time again, thanks to Thursday's Halftime Report, which aired several clips of John Stumpf testifying to Congress.

See, we like to get to the truth of things (whenever possible), particularly when people under stress are making public statements that may, for various reasons, not adequately reflect what those people are actually thinking.

John G. Stumpf no doubt believes that aggressive sales practices take place at other banks and companies, that some companies have done such a poor job of protecting data that all kinds of customer information was hacked, that some sold overly formaldehyded lumber from China, that some paid bribes, that some bundled a lot of mortgage loans and stamped ridiculously high ratings on them, and that some even at this moment are risking a serious European problem because of their recent mistakes.

He also knows that other financial executives make gobs of money, including ones who go on to respected careers as Treasury secretary.

He won't say any of that, because there's enough political firepower in his company's problems to cost him his job or perhaps more.

Which puts Stumpf in the company of Dick Fuld, who — strictly by interpreting his very limited public comments since 2008 and the limited references about him in news articles — certainly thinks that Lehman was no worse than other big banks during an inevitable though severe down cycle and simply was in the wrong place in the batting order when the government decided to bail out all but one.

What Stumpf and Fuld have in common is a very unique challenge in life — convincing government honchos and the public that they really are sorry about their companies' aggressive business practices while pocketing tens of millions of dollars.

It's safe to say it hasn't really been done yet.

Anyway, on Thursday's Halftime, Judge asked Mike Mayo if Stumpf survives the controversy. Mayo's non-answer was, "It's tough."

Then Mayo said, "I think this accelerates the transition from physical banking to virtual banking," suggesting that if Congress doesn't like people in branches upselling, then banks will simply get rid of the branches.

Pete Najarian said, "whether it's deserved or not," he's in the camp that Stumpf is "going to be looked at as somebody who's gonna have to go."

Pete said WFC "probably" goes a little bit lower.

Stephen Weiss said Stumpf has done "a great job" but that what the company has admitted to is "disgraceful" but that what's "really disgraceful" is how Congress is handling this.

Weiss said Stumpf should stay but revealed "there's a bench behind him."

Josh Brown scoffed at the WFC defense.

"Bank's too big. They're all too big," said Brown. "The bank is too big and can't be managed."

Brown twice said "at the end of the day" (Drink) (Double Drink), WFC's shenanigans are "the largest case of identity theft."

Weiss responded, "I don't think we should have Internet companies either because Yahoo was able to hide that massive fraud for so many years." (See, that's what we were getting at earlier.)

Sarat Sethi said WFC is "not investable" today.

In other matters, Doug Terreson said OPEC has an "understanding," which isn't the same as "agreement." He likes the integrateds but mentioned Shell as his favorite.

Steve Weiss said at OPEC, it's "50/50" as to whether there's follow-through on any agreement.

Josh Brown said "I feel good" being in XLE.

Pete Najarian said there's "all kinds of unusual activity" in energy options. Pete said 10,000 BHI November 52.50 calls were bought.

On the 5 p.m. Fast Money, another program in which everyone opined on what DB might be like while assuring viewers that they're not saying it's the same thing as other notorious situations, Karen Finerman said, "I don't think that this Deutsche Bank situation can exist that long."

It’s unanimous — everyone in the Halftime gang has seen this Deutsche Bank movie before

Judge reported late in Thursday's Halftime some report about 10 hedge funds cutting DB exposure, and boy did that put everyone in a tizzy.

Pete Najarian questioned why the funds have "waited this long." Everyone kinda said we've all seen this movie before, including Kate Kelly, who said she's "not taking any joy in this of course."

Stephen Weiss said the market will react "emotionally" to Deutsche Bank, but financials will be a buy if they slide far enough.

The conversation took an oddly circuitous route as Judge attempted to segue into an article on CNBC.com written by Josh Brown.

Weiss said Josh's article about the massacre of the hedge fund industry this year was "extremely well written" but focused on long-short equity hedge funds which are only 10% of the industry, which Weiss said includes all active managers. Judge finally had to ask if Weiss agrees or disagrees with Brown, who said the industry simply has "too many smart people" competing with each other; he never got an answer out of Weiss (nor any details on another panelist's May 10, 2012, "honest to God" afterhours $31 trade of JPM).

Kelly had the audacity to correctly say one issue with hedge funds was that they "stank as well" as everybody else in 2008, which rankled Weiss, who said, "That's not true, Kate … They lost 16% vs. 32, 34% for the S&P."

Pete Najarian said, "I don't think they're nimble enough."

"Some backed themselves into a corner," Judge admitted.

Josh Brown wrongly said "ironically (sic)," these types of DB headlines can prompt Berlin to act.

Kate Kelly mentioned one hedge fund guy who thinks AMZN will be worth $3 trillion in 10 years. (We think it was James Altucher about 5 years ago predicting AAPL $2 trillion.)

More from Thursday's Halftime later.

[Wednesday, September 28, 2016]

General audience view: Wishing the Clintons would just go away; wishing Trump had never run

Wednesday's Halftime Report crew put together an episode without the assistance of Jim Cramer … and managed to complete the entire 60-minute program.

Jon Najarian explained how he bought WFC at 45 and "flipped it up at 47" and got short puts that all finished out of the money. However, Judge continued not to ask how he pulled off that May 10, 2012, afterhours buy of JPM at 31.

Jim Lebenthal, who unfortunately had a quiet show, smartly questioned why WFC still trades at a premium to book and suggested waiting to buy on a "whoosh" below 40.

Using air quotes, Kari Firestone said after Brexit, WFC looked like "the cleanest" of the banks.

Pete Najarian said it's a "huge problem" that NKE's future orders are up 1% while last year they were 14%.

Kari Firestone said she owns LULU but not NKE but didn't exactly make the most earth-shattering call on either name.

Brian Stutland told Jackie DeAngelis, in shockingly attractive new blue dress, that there are still OPEC negotiations occurring, and oil might be "range-bound" until there's a deal. Bob Iaccino said he wants to fade the rally in crude.

Joe Terranova said crude is in "no-man's land."

Pete said he's getting out of some chip stocks. But Kari Firestone said MTSI "still has room."

Kari Firestone called BMY "interesting." Pete touted CRM and Doc touted GLW and its "unusual call activity." Jim Lebenthal said he'd buy NKE at 50. Joe predicted CTAS crosses 120.

Helima Croft on the 5 p.m. Fast Money said OPEC has "firmed the floor in the mid-40s." Guy Adami hailed APC. Julia Boorstin, rightly on the Mount Rushmore of CNBC Hair in stunning, utterly dominant red, explained why NFL ratings are down this year.

Tim Seymour actually apologized again to Bill Fleckenstein claimed that pro sports franchises are in a "bubble nature" (snicker).

If you had no idea what guest was talking about, you’re presumably not alone

James Dix sat in with Wednesday's Halftime gang and said he doesn't hide the "4 trends" that he cited to downgrade GOOG because they're part of the title of the report, "the four horsemen of the search apocalypse" (snicker).

We don't do lists of more than 3 for anything; brain can't handle it, but he did say something about "self-identified consumers" and "ad blocking" (we didn't know that was new).

"History shows you've been on the wrong side of this trade for, for some 3 years," Judge told Dix, questioning why viewers should give this call credence.

"Right. I mean, because I think fundamentally, I'm talking about something which I haven't talked about before," Dix said.

Judge said GOOGL is not expensive. Dix said valuation calls tend to be "humdrum calls." (Unlike the one he's currently making, which doesn't make an iota of sense, starting with the idea he thinks he needs 4 criteria.)

Later in the session, Judge said Youssef Squali emailed after Dix's comments and said Dix's "mobile argument makes no sense." Dix conceded mobile may have more upside, but "it shows how search is becoming more of an advertising engine," whatever the heck that means.

Unfortunately, Jon Najarian uncorked almost as much of a head-scratcher as Dix, stating FB "dummied up" ad numbers for a long time, "sort of like Wells Fargo," and doesn't that make a "popular spot" such as Google even more popular. Dix said Doc raises a "great point" and explained it has something to do with a "funnel" that we didn't understand in the slightest, though Doc nodded as though he actually got it.

Judge said Cramer was saying that Dix just did this report to put Wedbush on the map, but Judge nevertheless told Dix, "I give you a lot of credit" for coming on the show.

Meanwhile, Dix said he's neutral on VIAB and outperform on CBS, after David Faber delivered an uncharacteristically rambling report on this long-tired subject.

Then Judge brought in Anthony DiClemente, who said CBS shareholders own the stock because it's more "nimble" than something like VIAB.

"I don't think Les can be forced to do this if he doesn't want to," said DiClemente, who said a CBS-VIAB deal has benefits of scale but also possible "reverse synergies" that could "tarnish his legacy."

DiClemente said the haters are too much "the price is too high" for DIS to buy TWTR.

He indicated he was supposed to talk about AMZN. Judge said he was thrown a "curveball."

Eventually, DiClemente said he llkes AMZN with 3 reasons that you've heard countless times and don't need to be heard again, while conceding this isn't the "most ideal" entry point.

Pete Najarian said, "Bezos is the closest thing to Steven Jobs any of us have ever seen."

More from Wednesday's Halftime later.

[Tuesday, September 27, 2016]

Dying to see CNBC’s ratings, now that Cramer’s being enlisted to shore up the Halftime Report

Boy, being on Twitter sure sounds like a lot of fun.

Bob Peck on Tuesday's Halftime Report said Disney might not be a good match for the "not-safe-for-work content" on Twitter.

Jon Najarian said Twitter would be a lot more attractive if users didn't have to deal with a "bunch of haters."

Jim Cramer stated that people on Twitter were "vile" to him about free-trade comments he made.

So, what's the point of a Twitter account?

Pete Najarian hailed someone's January 20/29 call spread in TWTR, and we can only wonder who in the world is buying TWTR 29 calls.

Bob Peck said TWTR is trading at 20 times EBITDA while LinkedIn got taken out at 21 times. "We don't like the risk/reward set-up here," Peck said.

Peck suggested the downside of no deal would be "below 18."

Doc said he's been saying all along, "low to mid-20s" for TWTR.

Steph Link said, "I do not think Salesforce.com makes sense. I certainly do not think that Disney makes sense."

Joe Terranova said Jack Dorsey "needs to step off that board" at DIS.

Jim Cramer, who showed up after the first commercial break and stayed a while, mentioned how TWTR would allow Marc Benioff to offer "a 360 thing to your customers" (snicker).

Never seen a stock get talked about over no news as much as NKE

Joe Terranova on Tuesday's Halftime said Q3 has been a "risk-on environment" (but one in which everyone should've been buying right after Brexit even though Pete himself didn't really say so at the time) and said he'll hold onto names such as "Doctor Pepple (sic) Snapple."

Pete Najarian said that aside from the FANGs, how come they're not talking about BABA. Doc threw in BIDU, which he said is "seeing the same sorta run that Amazon is seeing."

Scott Nations said oil is "rebalancing lower." Jeff Kilburg said oil goes lower short term and tests $41.

Pete said someone bought 3,500 January 27 calls in TV.

Doc said he bought NKE calls. Pete said it's "fairly priced."

(Brag Trade Alert) Stephanie Link said she was glad to sell LULU at 80 and get out of athleisure entirely.

Pete Najarian said to watch KO.

Pete mocks Joe’s tech bull call with whiny, wimpy voice while Cramer asks for the check

We wondered when Tuesday's Halftime crew was going to get to the debate.

When they did, strangely enough, they put on a real donnybrook not over politics … but buying chip stocks.

"Neither candidate spoke about technology," grumbled Joe Terranova, who claimed chips and tech are still attractive.

For whatever reason, that set off something in Pete Najarian, who declared they're "getting less attractive" and chided people who were "afraid" to buy chips after Brexit.

"You should've liked it after Brexit then!" Pete thundered at Joe. "You should've wanted to buy the chips."

"And I did. And I did. Pete I did. OK," Joe patiently said, wondering how he managed to run into Donald Trump on the Halftime Report. (Except Joe announced on the show he has contributed to some pro-Trump thing and attended an event, so it presumably wouldn't be the first time.)

Meanwhile, Lisa Shalett said markets could take a "breather," even a 5-10% correction that would be "health and hygiene," but she expects the S&P to be "a lot closer" to 2,300 by year-end.

Shalett called the 30-year yield "shocking."

Joe said it's interesting that Shalett has high yield at an overweight and investment grade at underweight and wondered why. Shalett said it's a "fantastic question" and said a "muddle along" scenario of 2% GDP will be great for high yield.

"We think that, that Janet Yellen definitely goes in December," Shalett said.

More from Tuesday's Halftime later.

[Monday, September 26, 2016]

Tim Seymour says 8-person Supreme Court is what scares him most about election

Tim Seymour actually said on Monday's 5 p.m. Fast Money, "What scares me the most is actually we get to a place where, like 5 out of the last 6 elections, the Democrats win the popular vote and, and the electoral vote, uh, goes- goes to the Republicans. And we have a Supreme Court that's got 8 people on it."

Cramer welcomes members of Halftime gang for special lunchtime version of Mad Money

Jim Cramer, during Monday's Halftime Report, said DB needs to raise money, and "it does feel like Citi in the first go-round to me."

Joe Terranova said DB doesn't have enough reserves set aside for litigation. (Which nowadays, for banks, needs to be like a hundred gazillion dollars.)

Jon Najarian said we don't have the "blood in the street" moment yet with Deutsche Bank, but Angela Merkel "can't walk away."

Joe actually said both candidates on Monday night might call bank regulation "a bad thing" (snicker).

Judge used air quotes for the word "event," meaning the debate.

Josh Brown said "at the end of the day," U.S. banks already have taken punishment, while "Europe is like 3, 4, 5 years behind."

Stephen Weiss said, "They're trying to break up the banks without breaking 'em up."

The gang led by Cramer gushed about V and MA. Joe retouted exchanges; "all of 'em work in this environment." (See, high vol or low vol, doesn't matter ... but when it's high vol, it somehow is always better for the stock.)

Jon Najarian said there has been upside buying in HIG. Weiss touted FIS, which he said he used to own.

Doc said the peso will go the "opposite direction" of Trump after the debate (snicker).

Joe suggested the yen as an alternative to the risk-on environment.

Joe apparently prefers to watch football on a 3-inch screen, which would’ve been a good way to watch the Steelers on Sunday

Jim Cramer during Monday's Halftime Report claimed TWTR is "not a social media platform" but rather a "360 view of your customer" (snicker).

Cramer said Benioff, if he owned TWTR, would have to get rid of the anonymous heckling and make the service as "congenial" as Facebook. Josh Brown said some think "self-verification" (snicker) might take off if people are given the option.

Judge said "some people" on Monday's crew were heckling him during the Redskins game. Cramer got to talk about how great the Eagles are but at least didn't gloat too much.

Joe Terranova called Twitter "a real-time news feed," then grumbled that he's not able to watch football on his phone on Twitter on Sundays.

Josh said the "business" of TWTR is advertising, but the "asset" is among a handful in the whole world. (But why didn't he call it a UNIQUE PROPERTY?)

Sounds like getting the correct shoe size by buying online is very difficult

Kate Kelly on Monday's Mad Money/Halftime Report said Brevan Howard cut some fees to 0%, at least for "current investors in the flagship fund who put in additional money." But they'll still face the 20% performance fee.

Jim Cramer told how he waived his 1% in 1998 after only making 3%.

Matt Boss, who likes FL a lot more than NKE, said there's a "lifestyle shift" into wearing sneakers for the fashion, not for athletic performance. Cramer praised Boss as though he were Carson Wentz and called Boss' takedown of NKE "gutsy."

Josh Brown said FL is "somewhat insulated from Amazon."

Weiss and Cramer agreed that shoe sizes vary so much between brands and models, you have to try 'em on.

Meg Tirrell explained why GWPH is up. Cramer initially went off on national opioid problems, then said it's "too dicey" to own common stock of biotechs and would use options instead. Weiss said he was in SRPT apparently because of a great hedge-fund manager he's known for a long time but that retail investors shouldn't do either the stock or options of non-commercial biotech.

Doc said someone bought a "ton" of URBN November 35 puts.

[Friday, September 23, 2016]

Debates don’t matter

Josh Brown on Friday's Halftime fell for the every-4-years media hype, claiming that for voters who are up for grabs, "The debates are going to have a real impact."

No they're not. They never do.

It's a couple hours of entertainment on an autumn evening. Then all the mopes who keep daily (or even hourly) scorecards of this exercise will declare, "Did you SEE/HEAR that??!!?? THAT could hurt him/her with SWING VOTERS!!!!!!!"

Come early November, none of it will mean a damn thing.

Steve Weiss suggested markets will move if one of the presidential candidates takes a "substantial" lead. But Dan Nathan had it right the other day, stating if Hillary Clinton maintains a healthy margin in the polls, stocks are going to the moon.

Analyst can tell NKE is in trouble by looking at sidewalks in big cities

Guest Camilo Lyon told Friday's Halftime crew that "Nike is facing competitive pressures" unlike what it has faced in years and that its sales growth is "definitively decelerating."

Judge asked if that's based on any "surveys" or "metrics."

Lyon responded, "You know, it's a combination of things," then declared that when you look around in any city, "What you're seeing is an increase in the amount of adidas product on people's feet."

Lyon also said NKE is in an "innovation lull."

Jon Najarian said to buy the dips in NKE. Josh Brown said not to buy it now but wait for the low 50s or high 40s. Jim Lebenthal said if there are more "blemishes" in the next report, the market won't give it a pass this time. "I would start nibbling probably 51 or so," Jim said.

Tim Seymour now claims ‘I agree with a lot of Bill’s thoughts on the Fed’ when a day earlier he called them ‘pathetic’

Judge, who's going to spend the weekend asking Bill Fleckenstein to appear on the Halftime Report, opened Friday's Halftime with David Faber's TWTR-moving-closer-to-sale report (snicker).

Here's the terminology Faber or someone came up with: The Twitter board is supposedly "largely desirous" of a deal.

Judge suggested one of his favorite recent theories, that the day's gains in the stock might "complicate" someone's ability to buy TWTR.

"Yeah, it can have that impact," Faber said.

Josh Brown, citing Uber and Airbnb valuations, said he wants more than $23 a share for TWTR.

But Doc said options activity indicates a TWTR takeout no higher than the low 20s.

Mark Mahaney said the data collected for Twitter advertisers isn't as useful as some would hope. Mahaney admitted the timing of his underperform call "couldn't have been worse."

Judge actually told Mahaney, "So, uh, uh, boy, what a difference, uh, 12 hours or so make." (Ugh.)

Mahaney said LinkedIn would've made a lot more sense to CRM than Twitter would.

Jim Lebenthal said the FB ad error "passes in a day or two."

Judge once again let the opening chatter run about 20 minutes before calling for a break; if commercials are being back-loaded to the 2nd half hour, that's about as troubling as Twitter's lack of advertising impact. (Maybe there's actually a limit to how often they can show the Minnesota pillow guy.)

Scott Nations said "gold's gonna do better." Brian Stutland said if there's a breakout over 1,350, the probability of a rate hike in the Fed fund futures will rise.

Atul Lele said there are 3 things he's concerned about entering the 4th quarter; honestly they're not exciting enough to mention.

Mel donned one of our favorite outfits on Friday (green stripes). Mel on the 5 p.m. Fast Money got to introduce recent CNBC newcomer Aditi Roy, who continues to look stunning. Tim Seymour feebly backpedaled on what he said to Bill Fleckenstein a day ago. "Bottom line is, that was probably not my best interview," Seymour said.

[Thursday, September 22, 2016]

Bill calls Tim a ‘jerk’ for asking if he bought gold at the bottom, then says he did ‘catch the lows’

Bill Fleckenstein did indeed speak on Thursday's 5 p.m. Fast Money.

And we didn't have the foggiest idea whether he's bearish or bullish.

"This inflation targeting is a guaranteed disaster," Fleck asserted, stating that when the Federal Reserve finally succeeds at it, it'll "blow up" the bond and equity markets.

But he insisted that the market has been unshortable for a while. "I haven't tried to fight it very much except for a few times," Fleck said.

Guy Adami asked whether the drop will be sudden or give people time to put on a big short. "I have no idea what the catalyst is," Bill said.

Fleck even said that at the first sign of trouble, we'll get "QE4," and only after that fizzles out would he want to short.

Not everyone was impressed.

"A lot of this sounds kind of pathetic," opined Tim Seymour. "I've been listening to this for, for 9 months now. … Now you're almost throwing in the towel, which almost makes me think, maybe it is time to get bearish." (Seriously? He's only been aware of this for 9 months?)

"You're making stuff up," Bill argued, adding he's been long gold and miners, so "Don't give me that crap."

"You bought gold at the bottom too, I bet, right," taunted Seymour.

"Don't be such a jerk," Bill said. "Just because I own it doesn't mean I bought it at the bottom. Although I did happen to catch the lows."

Fleck also indicated he's not exactly looking to make headlines on the program. "I don't ask to come on this show. You guys ask me," he said.

"At some point, he's a hundred percent right," David Seeburg actually said.

Panel doesn’t seem particularly interested in Robert Citrone’s correction call

Judge on Thursday's Halftime said Robert Citrone is suggesting we're "likely" going to experience the biggest correction since 2008 over the next 3-4 months.

"We don't talk about him much," Judge said.

In fact they talk about him not at all.

But there's always demand on CNBC for someone calling for a huge correction.

"I know Rob. He's, he's very smart, great investor," said Steve Weiss.

Citrone's view evidently isn't shared by Joe Davis of Vanguard, who told Judge, "We're not bearish," but "cautious," and advised not having "outsized risk positions."

Joe Terranova sounded an even more optimistic tone, stating, "The tape is forcing me into the market."

Weiss said he added to his biotech holdings.

If Fed got it wrong by not hiking in September, can’t they just go 50 points in December?

Jon Najarian on Thursday's Halftime first said of the Fed, "They did what we thought they would do."

Then he said that predicting a hike "was a reasonable bet that maybe something would happen."

Steve Liesman suggested the dissenters at the Fed are going to prevail eventually.

Stephen Weiss said the VIX was below 12, and that's always an opportunity for volatility.

Jeff Kilburg told Jackie DeAngelis, who was in smashing new white top, that gold's in a range, maybe up to 1,365.

Pete Najarian said producers asked before the show, "How did you change your game plan." Pete said he didn't change his game plan at all.

Still haven’t heard anyone say how much an EpiPen should cost

This page is definitely not making a call on whether the pricing of EpiPens is a bad thing or justifiable thing or anything like that; we don't know nearly enough about the subject.

We do know that Heather Bresch looked dynamite, in glasses, in front of a grandstanding crowd of critics who had long since prejudged the situation for the benefit of their constituents.

"She almost had a little bit of the benefit of Stumpf going the day before," opined Joe Terranova.

Pete Najarian wondered aloud why MYL option volatility was low and said that represented a "good opportunity."

Guy Adami said on the 5 p.m. Fast Money that he thinks the WFC situation gets "worse before it gets better."

Judge said WY got an "upgay" (sic) from Goldman Sachs. Stephen Weiss said it's a "tough call" at this point but allowed "there's a floor under it." Joe Terranova called it "a nice way to play the housing recovery."

Pete said Citi's SEAS upgrade is a "pretty interesting call" and he likes the "boldness" but finds the 14 target a little low. Doc said the company is a "potential takeout candidate." (Yes, by PETA.)

Doc said BBBY "cratered" around 41 in the afterhours Wednesday.

Weiss said there's "no real news" in AAL.

Joe said there's "nothing wrong with the fundamentals" of AMZN but to "pare back" if the stock falls below 690 (snicker).

Pete said January 10 calls in ECA were popular. Doc said January 25 and 27 calls in COG were being bought aggressively.

Todd Wagner, enlisted to promote the Iconic whatever, said he wonders if Hillary-vs.-Trump is the "new normal" of elections.

"I'm not going to be pulling the lever for, for Donald Trump; I mean, that's for sure," Wagner revealed.

Joe Terranova at one point questioned if anyone is betting on Donald Trump "having a rock-star performance" (snicker) on Monday night.

Pete Najarian said he thinks BABA will "explode" to the upside. Doc said he likes USO. Joe called CRUS "the real Apple trade."

The New York Times' Alex Stevenson, who is very pretty, said "it's too early to say" if Lee Cooperman's son might've turned on him.

Sue Herera called Puerto Rico an "island nation."

[Wednesday, September 21, 2016]

Fleck due on Thursday’s Fast

Last Friday, Mel promised viewers of the 5 p.m. Fast Money that they'd be seeing Bill Fleckenstein on Thursday, Sept. 22.

Actually, there's no need to watch, because here's what he's going to say: "The Fed has lost control … not only has the Fed lost control, they lost control years ago … their credibility is shot … they're out of bullets ... easy money's bound to end disastrously … I'm restarting my short fund next month; there's just a lot of things you have to do first … Hey, even though this market's doomed for a hangover, the party can last a lot longer than you'd think …"

Then again, Adam Parker was promised for Wednesday and proved a no-show, so maybe it won't happen.

Dan Nathan: Stocks surging to all-time highs if Clinton takes commanding lead

On Wednesday's 5 p.m. Fast Money, Dan Nathan butted heads with Steve Grasso and Tim Seymour over how high the market might go.

Only this time, Nathan was the one painting a bull case, asserting stocks are going back to new highs and even well beyond if Hillary Clinton starts to pull away in the polls.

Grasso and Seymour questioned the amount of bullish catalysts and indicated nothing's changed.

But Nathan's right, the coast is basically clear.

On the Halftime Report, Stephen Weiss, who recently made the greatest call in show history, broke that streak at 1 in saying, "I still believe that the Fed goes," though his odds were 60/40. "I bought some MetLife," Weiss said.

Marc Faber said he doubts a rate hike in either 2016 or 2017.

Mel said on the 5 p.m. Fast Money that Yellen has painted herself into an even "smaller corner" than previously.

Pete Najarian on the Halftime Report said there was "an incredible amount of unusual activity" in a banking index, KBE.

Doc said 57.50 calls in HOG were very active.

Josh Lipton didn't realize he was on the air near the end of the Halftime Report, caught on camera asking "hello."

If WFC slides, Doc would ‘buy the crap out of it’

Doc on Wednesday's Halftime was forced to defend his recent WFC "blood in the streets" call (apparently not the one about the "honest to God" $31 JPM buy on May 10, 2012, which Judge won't even challenge), insisting to Judge, "I didn't think it's going away."

Judge said "it feels like a paper cut now" compared with what it might become.

Doc insisted, "I don't root for stocks to go down," but if WFC falls, "I would buy the crap out of it."

Doc even suggested Buffett was "probably meeting" with Stumpf.

Judge said he didn't get Josh Brown's analogy of WFC to HLF, something we didn't get either.

Steve Weiss said times like this are the only time to buy names like WFC at a "reasonable price."

Weiss called Hillary Clinton "very deceitful," then said that's "too political for the show."

Hadn’t heard any speculation recently as to when Dooley would exit

In what proved to be a Zzzzzzz discussion, Rich Greenfield contended on Wednesday's Halftime that "the next step" in the VIAB overhaul is to merge the company with CBS.

Judge questioned if Greenfield expected Dooley to be out this soon "because few others did." Greenfield insisted this was "very much a temporary step."

Judge also questioned if Leslie Moonves even wants VIAB. Greenfield said Viacom is actually in a "worse spot" than NBC when Comcast bought it.

Mario Gabelli said VIAB clearly needs a fix on the balance sheet and said he would've "gone a little further" on the dividend cut.

Karen Finerman said on Friday's 5 p.m. Fast Money that VIAB was a buy at 37.

Nobody has said anything in these Viacom reports about Deborah Norville's contributions to the board.

Kelly: SEC vs. Cooperman, which took 6 years to reach this point, seems like ‘very simple cut-and-dry insider-trading case’

Wednesday's Halftime opened with breaking Wall Street news: Lee Cooperman accused of insider trading.

Judge said the case involves trades in Atlas Pipeline in July 2010.

Judge said he spoke to Coop before the program, and Coop said he would "vigorously defend himself" and be "vindicated."

Cooperman also said he turned down a settlement offer. (Translation: SEC was willing to cut and run on this one.)

Kate Kelly reported that the 34-page complaint contains "damning evidence against, uh, Mr. Cooperman."

Kelly said the complaint alleges that a "family member of his" called the options trades "fishy" and "shady" and that Cooperman allegedly "fabricated a story."

Kelly said the SEC alleges that "shortly before" Cooperman got a tip, "he described this company to somebody as an S-H-I-T-T (sic no 'Y') business."

Coop also allegedly said he was "downscaling" his investment in Atlas before the trade, Kelly reported.

Judge said Lee asserted that the stake was acquired in 2007, and "they sold nothing" in the wake of the trade.

Judge asked Kelly a great question: How did the SEC get its info. Kelly said, "Either wiretaps, or extensive cooperation not only by executives from Atlas Pipeline … but also perhaps some of Cooperman's own family members."

Kelly said this is a precise complaint that puts the alleged offense at "$4 million in ill-gotten gains. So it's a very simple cut-and-dry insider-trading case, it would seem."

More from Wednesday's Halftime later.

[Tuesday, September 20, 2016]

Rewriting history — what’s it called when both sides in a debate are wrong?

So who peed in Doc's Cheerios?

Stephanie Link on Tuesday's Halftime Report said she's in the "camp" that WFC might "underperform on a relative basis." But that wasn't what caused fireworks.

Link contended it took "months" for JPM to "stabilize" from the London Whale problem.

That prompted Jon Najarian to bellow, "No, no, no, no, no. I bought it the day of the news, I bought it in the pool, out at Caesar's … I was watching Fast Money, honest to God, and I called into the show live, and I said, I'm buying it here at 31 bucks a share. It didn't go lower. I know it didn't go lower though Steph."

"Jon, are you kidding me?" asked Link. "It took- abso- the first day this was announced? The first day the JPMorgan London Whale was announced? No. Absolutely not."

Then Najarian uttered the telltale comment: "After the close, I was out at the SALT Conference."

So, the 2012 SALT Conference was May 8-11. Which means Doc was talking about May 10.

The Whale loss was announced Thursday, May 10, 2012, in the late afternoon or evening after closing at $40.74.

In that afterhours session, which presumably is when Najarian called Fast Money, shares fell 6.5% to $38.09.

There's no better source than CNBC.com for a screen shot of the afterhours JPM trade that day (above) when Doc was supposedly calling the show to chortle about his $31 purchase.

Except even better, the account on this site. We went back to the archives and found this:

Jon Najarian produced an instant trade on Thursday's 5 p.m. Fast Money in the wake of JPM's announcement — buying JPM at 39 or 38, and "sell either DB, CS or GS against it." Najarian said he'll "probably be doing more of that tomorrow during the day."

But even more interesting was Najarian's explanation as to how he arrived at that particular trade, assessing that JPM is ahead of other banks in taking this kind of medicine.

Najarian told Melissa Lee he was at the CNBC studio the same time as Dimon "2 weeks ago, and he came over to me, Melissa, and we were talking about his quarter and so forth."

Is there any indication here that JPM fell 24% that night to $31?

A day later, on massive volume (217 million shares), it closed down $3.78, 9.2%, to $36.96.

It did bottom at $31, but not until June 4. Too late for Doc's trade; too early for Link's "months" of stabilization.

So basically, Doc's trade May 10 from the Caesar's pool was an absolute bust.

Anyway, Doc was chippy from the get-go on Tuesday, stating he bought WFC on Thursday and Friday and telling Judge, "You guys were questioning whether or not that's the right move."

"It was oversold hard," Doc added.

Steve Liesman, sounding skeptical, said to "be very careful" lumping in WFC with all the "blood on the Street" trades.

Pete Najarian, nearly as chippy as his brother on this day, pointed out that Liesman convinced him of the "crock of crap" that the Fed was going to hike in September.

Joe Terranova said, "I think you do buy this stock," the "only risk" being if Buffett were to announce he's getting out.

New panelist Erin Browne, who is cute, of UBS O'Connor said the WFC scandal "came as a surprise to bank investors" and substantiated Liz Warren's views of the banks. "Bank regulation isn't going away," Browne said.

Doc gave Stumpf a 1-star performance (out of 4) because of his "horrible" answer about the clawbacks.

[Monday, September 19, 2016]

Weiss’ gargantuan call: SRPT

It's downright jaw-dropping.

Steve Weiss back on May 25 said the downside risk in SRPT is "maybe down to 4 or 8 dollars, but the upside is to 50 or 60."

This page sort of scoffed.

Holy. Moly.

SRPT, which closed $23.25 on May 25, went gangbusters on Monday, delivering for Weiss what is quite likely, given the time frame and magnitude of the move, the greatest call in the history of Fast Money/Halftime Report.

In a classy assessment, Weiss dialed in to Monday's Halftime and said he closed half his position but that the stock still has legs.

Weiss conceded that such a biotech stock is "very, very dangerous" for someone who isn't a scientist, such as himself. But he said regulators "did the right thing" by approving the muscular dystrophy treatment.

As for the total gain, Weiss in May — and occasionally since — has mentioned putting on and taking off various options trades with the stock as it surged from the teens into the 20s. "I own it from the low teens," Weiss said Monday, while conceding he also has had "losing trades in the stock."

He told of being hedged, "blunting my gains somewhat on what I lost on the options."

It's important to note Doc also was high on SRPT in April and May while it languished in the teens, but Weiss hung the "50 or 60" on it.

Judge questioned on Monday if, after such a huge gain, Weiss really wants to hang on to his remaining stake.

"I may be out by the end of the day," Weiss said.

At least we went a day without the ‘sum vs. the parts’ analysis of a Fed hike

Meanwhile, in other trades that will probably make less than 100% in 4 months …

Jim Lebenthal on Monday's Halftime Report said Adam Jonas is one of the first "high visionary guys" to point out GM can still profit if we're at peak auto. But even Jim said he wants to see whether the stock can hold the morning gain.

Joe Terranova pointed out where GM was in November and said if it wasn't Adam Jonas who wrote the note, the stock wouldn't have jumped Monday.

Josh Brown called GM a "value trap," citing an op-ed by the founder of Lyft and stating millennials are going to be 30% less likely to have a driver's license than the previous generation.

Meanwhile, Kevin O'Leary said AAPL is still a "wait and see" story (Zzzzzzzzz) (Drink) (at least he didn't say he needs to see services top 15%).

Josh Brown supposedly was asking O'Leary an AAPL question, but it was more like a statement, and O'Leary didn't answer, leading to a bit of dead air.

Judge opened the program with a mind-numbing, endless go-round on the Fed in which everyone agreed (with all of their qualifiers and caveats and woulda coulda shoulda) that the Fed isn't doing anything of substance this week.

Joe said the market's Monday gain was based on expectation of the Fed standing pat now and hiking in December.

Kevin O'Leary said if there's no December hike, it'll be the "5th head fake" in this cycle.

Richard Fisher, the star guest, suggested the Fed will only change the language this week, though he himself would tighten.

O'Leary got Fisher to agree on the nasty "regulatory environment" (translation: Every boss at Kevin's 32 U.S. companies tells him they can't even hire anyone because of the legal scene).

Josh and Joe suggested algos could've been taking the market down on Fisher's comments (snicker).

O'Leary called financials a "nasty little sector" and asserted "you could really lose some money."

But Jim Lebenthal said financial longs aren't pricing in a hike this week, so he doesn't see a big selloff if there isn't one.

O'Leary insisted that "at the end of the day (Drink)," you can outperform the market by being underweight financials.

Judge flagged Doc's recent optimism on improving casino numbers as the stocks fell; Joe said you can use the selloff as an "opportunity." Josh Brown suggested WYNN is retesting 103 or 104.

Jim Lebenthal said refiners have momentum. Joe predicted ADBE's momentum continues. Josh Brown twice pounded the table for MA.

Josh refreshingly got a trim to shore up the haircut that was a little out of control last week.

[Friday, September 16, 2016]

What happened to the ‘Fast Break’ feature of chatter during commercials?

Judge on Friday's Halftime cornered Steve Liesman before an apparent commercial break on everyone's favorite parlor game, whether the Fed hikes this month.

"I think they have to stay on hold," said Liesman, citing the whole-vs.-parts thing again (Drink).

Then he said Reuters' prediction is about 11% for a September hike. Judge said the chance is about 10%.

Jon Najarian though thinks it's a "bigger chance" than 10%.

"I can't think of a reason why the Fed would want to surprise the market," Liesman insisted, suggesting the move should be adequately telegraphed. But Judge asked, "What does a telegraph sound like?," pointing out the variety of Fed voices on this subject.

Judge pointed out that Stephen Weiss recently called a September hike a "done deal," for those keeping score.

Doc said he's still anticipating a 3-5% pullback in the market, and 6-10% if there is indeed a hike.

Liesman said the Fed's preferred market reaction to any moves is "zero."

Sarat Sethi said he still likes the S&P.

Josh Brown called CME a "monster" and a volatility play even though Joe indicated a few weeks ago that CME works in a low-volume environment. (Translation: It's like gold in the inflationary/deflationary thing.)

While this page jokes, correctly, about the supposed need to put the brakes on the runaway U.S. economy, Doc on Friday indicated at least one part of the economy is indeed on fire — health care.

Medical cost inflation is "out of control" and "unequivocal bad news" and not exactly what we were supposed to get with Obamacare, Doc explained.

AAPL’s ability to copy others’ technology ‘becomes innovative after a period of time’

Trying to clarify how that 105/110 spread didn't exactly capture all of AAPL's upside, Jon Najarian on Friday's Halftime said he would "hedge out" of the shares but wouldn't "trade out," and now he's putting on a 1x2 trade.

Stephanie Link called AAPL somehow "very underowned."

Josh Brown said AAPL eventually takes off after introducing new phones and then offered this disclaimer for those who heed the picks they hear on the show: "We get as many wrong as we get right."

Sarat Sethi said he worries AAPL will hit the "120, 125 wall" again.

Josh Brown said he likes NVDA for other things besides cellphone gadgetry. Steph Link likes AVGO. Sarat Sethi warned of the possibility of a "retreat" in the semiconductor space. Even Dom Chu offered CRUS.

Doc said GPRO made a "pretty interesting" move Friday.

Karen Finerman, gracing Friday's Halftime with a rare appearance, said AAPL no longer has a ridiculously low multiple. Mel's gray dress is one of this page's favorites.

Doc sells WFC 44 puts

Like Steve Weiss a day earlier, Jon Najarian on Friday's Halftime seemed to think a WFC bounce case is in order.

Doc said he sold 44 puts. "There is blood in the streets here," Doc said.

Josh Brown wasn't convinced. "I think it's early," Josh said.

Sarat Sethi said to "stay away" from DB and European banks.

Meanwhile, Doc admitted he bought NVAX October 9 calls and sold September 9 calls. Not surprisingly, Judge allowed or even endorsed Doc's claim that it's better to lose 100% of a $6,500 options gambit than 85% of an $80,000 stock gambit (as if any viewer would put 80 grand into this money-losing lottery ticket).

Doc said October 35 PE calls were popular. "I bought 'em today." ('Cause he'll make a lot more money or lose a lot less than if he buys 10 times that amount in stock.)

Stephanie Link said of AMZN, "It's goin' up."

Josh Brown said DPS has been great, but he'll pass.

Judge pointed out Mike Mayo has a 53 on CMA while Goldman Sachs now has a 52.

Jim Iuorio told Jackie D that the crude supply story is "pretty broad," but he thinks the Saudis could start jawboning in the low 40s. Jeff Kilburg predicted a test of the August low of 40 but suggested it might go right back up from there.

Josh Brown felt compelled to mention, "I like Jackie's hair too by the way."

NFL great is not asked whether TSLA should’ve disclosed the crash before the secondary

Former NFL great Eddie George sat in with Friday's Halftime to say that Stumpf's handling of the scandal isn't exactly "textbook" Delivering Alpha wasn't particularly exciting this year rich jocks need to get their financial basics in order.

"Some guys don't even know, uh, the difference between a financial advisor and their agent. And their CPA. And how you should have Chinese barriers set up between all of them," George said.

"You're a diversified portfolio in and of (sic last 3 words redundant) (Drink) yourself," Judge told George.

George opened with a compliment. "I watch you guys every day," he said, which means he must've enjoyed watching Larry Kudlow eat a meal during Thursday's Halftime.

Judge promised "some Final Trades" from the panel but didn't deliver.

[Thursday, September 15, 2016]

Probably Maria’s first CNBC appearance in 3 years

Judge had to yield the figurative Halftime podium Thursday to Donald Trump's speech to The Economic Club of New York, which really sounds like a Larry Kudlow type of place.

Matter of fact, it's such a Kudlow type of place that we even caught images of Larry having a meal (first time we've seen that; below) while Mr. Trump spoke with John Paulson.

We didn't detect an "at the end of the day," but we did get from the candidate, "Every year, overregulation costs our economy $2 trillion a year (sic last 2 words redundant)."

Judge for some reason decided to stock a full panel for about 3 minutes of commentary.

Doc said he thought Trump "handled himself well in front of what would be a pretty hostile crowd (snicker)."

Josh grumbled that Trump said "within 1 paragraph," the economy is a disaster but the Fed is keeping rates low for political reasons. "Which is it," Brown said, calling it a "convenient thing to throw out and say."

Joe said the Trump campaign has "strong momentum." Pete said it's the most "presidential" speech Trump has given.

[Wednesday, September 14, 2016]

Weiss: Buy WFC

Wednesday's Halftime Report produced an interesting call from Steve Weiss.

Weiss dubbed WFC a buy, praising Stumpf's "textbook" handling of the fake-account situation.

"At the end of the dear- (sic) day, it's the highest-quality bank franchise out there," Weiss asserted.

Jim Lebenthal said he agreed with all of that except that it's time to buy, stating you'll get it lower.

Pete Najarian agreed with Jim.

The panel took a crack at assessing Delivering Alpha star guest Carl Icahn, who spoke about the markets being on a ledge; nobody seemed to think a 25-basis-point hike was a big deal.

Pete said, "This is, they'res (sic plural) walkin' on a ledge, but they're on the first floor."

Meanwhile, regarding Icahn's interest in HLF, "I don't think he has any intention of going to 50%," said Steve Weiss.

Doc said the October 60 QRVO calls were popular. Pete touted the SLV October 18.50 calls.

Anthony Grisanti said China numbers aren't as bad as people think, which is good for copper. Bob Iaccino said if it holds 2.14, "expect the upside to continue."

Jim Lebenthal said F made a good production move.

Pete Najarian called CBRL a buy on the selloff.

Jon Najarian had a lot of regurgitated stats on casinos ending their 26-month losing streak of declining revenue but didn't actually say whether to buy LVS.

Weiss got to talk about SPRT; Doc credited him for a great call.

Jim predicted DIS bottoms "before 90."

Karen Finerman spoke about AAPL on the 5 p.m. Fast Money but was so devastating in lavender, we barely absorbed a word.

2,000 year-end S&P dubbed
‘sideways’ market

The hedge fund bigwigs came well-stocked with warnings at Delivering Alpha.

"They delivered a lot of really gray clouds," said Pete Najarian on Wednesday's Halftime, singling out Bill Miller as a rare bull (or at least a person who sees opportunity).

Stephen Weiss, echoing the bigwigs as always, said they're just saying, "There's nothing out there to buy."

Doc said Paul Singer "nailed" that the speeches written for Delivering Alpha seemed to be pegged to Friday's Fed commentary, that the Fed doesn't care about data anymore if it's going to ignore the recent ISM numbers.

Weiss had an answer for that too. "There's no more central bank buying of sovereign debt, so those yields can't go down," Weiss said.

Jim Lebenthal mentioned some of the chatter but asserted, "What I am worried about is earnings."

Dubravko Lakos said he'd be waiting "for some further correction" before buying.

Lakos linked volatility to "equity deleveraging," which is kind of like when the show gets into Momentum Mode (particularly on the 5 p.m. version) and we start hearing if this average is broken then this average will get broken and THEN you'll start to really see the whole system collapse!!!!!!

Pete questioned why Lakos is bearish when Lakos seems merely to be suggesting a rotation to different stocks.

Lakos said he'd only call himself bearish if his target was 1,900 or 1,800.

Copying others ‘becomes innovative after a period of time’

Pete Najarian on Wednesday's Halftime contended the new iPhone is "much better technology than they've had in the past."

Stephen Weiss said hedge fund folks don't think so pointed out other brands already had the camera and the water resistance.

Pete insisted Apple people "make things better," which "becomes innovative after a period of time."

Weiss pointed out that Pete hasn't compared the iPhone 7 camera and water resistance to Samsung and LG phones.

"These damn things wear out," Doc said, adding that the flight crew this morning told passengers not to charge any Samsung device on the plane.

Doc trumpeted his 105/110 call spread in AAPL, then had to admit it's already up to 112 and said he's good with that.

Jim Lebenthal called the COH-KORS space "a really tough sector," and he'd stay away. But Doc said he likes KATE "on the big selloff." Weiss agreed with Lebenthal that "it's too difficult to play."

A bit more from Wednesday's Halftime later.

[Tuesday, September 13, 2016]

Evidence of corporate governance problem detected deep in the TSLA-SCTY merger proxy

We're all for pounding the table whenever CNBC puts on a fine production.

But Tuesday's Delivering Alpha unfortunately delivered barely a ripple.

One of the star guests was Jim Chanos, whose refrain is so tired by now that even Andy Dick could recite it: Short China, short CAT, short TSLA, etc.

Chanos said the TSLA-SCTY merger proxy had an "interesting disclosure" that the Tesla board refused to provide Solar City with a bridge loan.

This, he indicated, made him feel even better about this short.

He said he never "dreamed" that Tesla would try to buy SCTY, and he said the Tesla Model 3 won't cost $35,000 but more like $45,000-$50,000.

Chanos said Hillary Clinton would be "far better" than Trump.

Chanos said he's still short BABA and said it's burning cash while AMZN has been a "free-cash-flow machine" since 2002.

On the plus side, Chanos did a masterful job of handling a mike problem while continuing his train of thought.

Brian Pellegrino was asked a not-particularly-exciting question about missing alpha. Pellegrino said alpha "still can be found."

"We believe in hedge funds, because they are a diversifying return stream for us," Pellegrino said.

Judge claimed the 10-year yield move was a "textbook definition" of a spike.

Judge was actually heard to say after a commercial break, "What a difference a day makes."

Weiss lowers odds of September hike

Tuesday's Halftime crew might've been at Delivering Alpha, but the gruel was nearly as thin as the Redskins' secondary.

Josh Brown said of Tuesday's trading, "You have to look at this as a rate-related adjustment."

Judge said it's a "buckle up" market.

Joe Terranova, who outdressed even Judge in a sensational suit/shirt combo (tie was fine, though we might've chosen differently), reminded folks that yesterday he was calling the market a "trading event," but Tuesday, he said he "might be wrong" about that because it could be "something bigger."

Stephen Weiss, who looked fine albeit sorta funereal, revealed, "I've taken down my odds of a tightening later this month. I still think it will happen." (That's a good way of being hedged.)

"We're back to the correlation with crude," Weiss said.

Steve Liesman, who is saying all day Tuesday that the "parts" suggest September hike but the "sum" doesn't (translation: if Yellen really wanted a September hike she would've said so in Jackson Hole), said we've got a "groundless investment matrix" because people aren't sure what the "risk-free return" is.

The panel jousted over all the things everyone at Delivering Alpha seems to be saying you can't be invested in right now — stocks, bonds, cash, um, so guess that leaves time shares — and seemed to conclude that everyone's risk profile and appetite is different.

Liesman said, "This is a profound conversation."

He told Joe that Trump wouldn't be able to clean house at the Fed if he wins.

More of the Delivering Alpha buzz, such as it was, later.

[Monday, September 12, 2016]

Judge spent half the show on the Fed, should’ve spent it on Skins’ pass defense

Monday's Halftime had barely gotten off the ground when Joe waffled like l'eggo my egg'o, after Judge asked a simple question, is Monday a day to sell.

Sounding probably like Kirk Cousins in the huddle, Joe stated, "If you are an investor, then I think over the first couple of weeks of September, you wanna take cash levels in terms of equities holdings, somewhere, uh, 20, 30 percent."

Say … whaaaaat?

Joe clarified, "For an investor's portfolio, yes, I would be modestly raising cash."

But later, he contended, "You're comin' out of the earnings recession in the next 3 to 6 months, the market's gonna skyrocket."

He called Friday and Monday a "trading event."

No. 1 Media Deadhead Steve Liesman said "it's a very close call" on whether the Fed hikes in September but that he was "perhaps" leaning toward a hike.

Liesman tried to pick apart Joe's characterization of a "trading event." Joe said it's clearly "traders repositioning."

Josh Brown said that there have been 30 instances of -2.5% days in the S&P since 2010, and every one was a buying opportunity.

Steve Weiss, who has called a September hike, said there are "lots of measures" including unemployment telling us we're near the end of an economic cycle. "So if we go into recession, what's the Fed got?"

Liesman indicated that a Fed vote is kind of like how they do things in Russia. "More or less the governors will fall in line," Liesman said, if Yellen wants a hike. "I don't think the chair will be on the wrong side of the vote. I think she will create a vote that puts her on the right side."

Joe asked Liesman if the economic landscape is better now than in December when the Fed last raised. Liesman didn't answer but said the global slowdown fears of the first half seem to have passed.

CNBC's new Jamie Dimon Correspondent, Wilfred Frost, said Dimon said Monday that "rates should be risen (sic grammar) right now" by 25 basis points.

"I actually think that the market will uh, will embrace it," said Weiss.

But Jim Lebenthal said "of course" there will be a selloff if the Fed hikes next week.

"I'm concerned if the dollar goes higher," said Joe.

Confidence apparently lacking, Judge says not a word about Skins’ pending opener

Craig Johnson on Monday's Halftime told CNBC's Chief Redskins fan he's "absolutely" maintaining his 2,350 target and said money managers will be playing "catch-up right into year-end."

2,350 sounds a reach, but we agree with Johnson and others who say the chasers are going to buy every dip, as they did Monday.

Curiously, Johnson told Judge stocks are "fairly valued right now." If the S&P is going to climb 200 points in 3 months, how are they "fairly valued"?

Steve Weiss wondered if Johnson's call is "purely a technical" one because valuation doesn't justify it. "The numbers for 2017 look pretty good," Johnson insisted.

Jay Gruden, 4th and 1 on opening drive, decided to punt, rely on his defense

Robert Cohen on Monday's Halftime said DoubleLine sees "a lot of emerging risks" and suggested thinking more "strategically" than "tactically."

Honestly, the runaway economy (snicker) that some in the Fed seem to want to chase in September doesn't look as bad as DoubleLine seems to think.

Cohen pointed to enterprise value/EBITDA as opposed to P.E. ratio. (Zzzzzzzzzzz.)

Cohen predicted rates would rise "gradually for a while, and then rapidly (snicker)."

He even talked about the presidential candidates (snicker) talking about "fiscal spending." (Oh sure, they're going to attack the national debt with their 60-plus votes in the Senate.)

Josh Brown tossed Cohen a curve suggesting that Cohen is saying the Fed shouldn't hike but that if they don't, they can lose control if wages exceed expectations. "It might take several years to really play out," Cohen said, helpful advice on a show originally called "Fast Money."

Cohen suggested high yield in health care or technology if the economy weakens. Jim Lebenthal said 25 basis points "in and of itself" (Drink) (sic redundant) isn't gonna matter.

Judge made a nice tribute to Bonnie Baha.

Skins fans wonder why Josh Norman wasn’t trailing Antonio Brown

Joe Terranova on Monday's Halftime said he's "68%" in equities, "20% cash" and "12% in derivative-type products."

Joe said he's "disappointed" in gold and silver the last couple of weeks.

Jim Lebenthal said Cowen's WMT bullishness is an "obvious call" and that now may be a good time to buy TGT.

Joe did a ranking of WMT, TGT and maybe COST though he wasn't sure. Judge stopped Joe cold asking where AMZN is. Judge called WMT a "staple, at the end of the day (Drink)."

Stephen Weiss said WMT and TGT aren't cheap and suggested he'd rather buy M.

Weiss suggested CAVM is coming down into an attractive price.

Josh Brown said if the Fed is hiking, check out V and MA.

Karen Finerman, whose stunning new blue dress took 12 years off and who made a brilliant call Friday expressing skepticism about the selloff, said on the 5 p.m. Fast Money she "bought a little Facebook," though URI didn't get to her price.

[Friday, September 9, 2016]

Karen points the way to Grasso in rare Friday appearance

In a rare treat for Friday viewers of the 5 p.m. Fast Money, Karen Finerman, in new blue/orange ensemble, called it a "painful day" but said she "did really nothing today."

Finerman said WFC is very ownable despite its "embarrassing" report of fake accounts, suggesting a "buck" to the downside.

No. 386 insisted, "it could be more than a buck to the downside." But Karen said it's "probably not" an EpiPen story.

Guy Adami indicated that Scott Van Pelt doesn't fully understand what Rich Greenfield is saying about ESPN.

Apparently, if you want to get rich, pick something besides the stock market

Rich Saperstein issued a manifesto of sorts on Friday's Halftime Report.

"Remember: Our clients don't need to get rich. They need to stay rich," Saperstein said.

We weren't always that great at algebra or logic … but it sounds like all of Saperstein's clients are rich.

Saperstein said he's 40% in stocks but thinks it's time to be cautious. He said he does like banks, however.

In a good question from Judge, Saperstein wouldn't commit to buying if the market slides 5%; "depends on what causes it to go down."

Jim Lebenthal said, "I don't think you're gonna see a correction," predicting money managers chasing performance will be buying dips into year-end.

Wonder what Keith Meister thinks of TWTR’s board waiting 6 months to do anything

Delivering an update to the gripping WMB saga, Keith Meister on Friday's Halftime said Williams' board isn't "the A Team" but didn't answer Judge's question as to "who do you believe" in the Enterprise-WMB talks.

Meister actually claimed he doesn't know anything "about the specifics of the terms" regarding whether Enterprise was trying to get the company on the cheap.

Meister claimed the Enterprise deal is not about "price," but it's about "engaging."

"My goal on Monday is to, is to send an open letter to the new directors," Meister said, and honestly, that doesn't seem like too lofty of a goal.

In his only mistake of the day, Judge let Meister read the entire blueprint as to who should say what to who.

Meister's main target is the "6 legacy Williams directors" (Drink).

Steph Link said she owns WMB and she loves what she heard from Meister. "Something is going to happen," Link said.

Stranded ship cargo discussion goes off the rails

Jim Lebenthal, who had a great show, said on Friday's Halftime that "there's a lot of oil out there," and fundamentals will push the price lower.

Jim admitted GM's recall is a "large number" of cars but noted the fix seems pretty simple.

Stephanie Link touted JPM. Doc said he replaced WFC with JPM in the UIT.

Stephanie is not chasing RH.

Josh Brown said HOG's market is not growing, but shrinking, and he wouldn't buy.

Doc said STX actually invited in ValueAct, the first time he's heard of an activist being invited in.

Jim Lebenthal said to "be careful" in KR.

Doc said NVAX October 9 calls were popular; he's long the 7s and short the 9s.

Jim Lebenthal tried and failed to make a serious point about the ship cargo stranded at sea. Doc referred to "Meg Brennan," then scoffed at the difference between "Meg, Morgan." Judge, in an otherwise strong performance, couldn't stop the shenanigans.

Cramer revisited the set to discuss the re-airing of "Ground Zero Rising" on Sunday.

Cramer said it made him "angry" to hear Fischer suggest 2 hikes, because "we're obviously I think not set up for 2 hikes in the economy."

Tony Dwyer knocked
it out of the park

Yesterday, Steve Weiss needed at least 3 tries to "digest" what Tony Dwyer was saying.

The stock market had no trouble digesting it Friday, nearly instantly validating Dwyer's suggestion of a 3-5% pullback.

Judge on Friday's Halftime said the shellacking is "Fed fear, front and center," citing Eric Rosengren.

Josh Brown said it may be as much about Gundlach as anything.

Doc, who has maintained a hike in December and suggested even a possible rollback in 2017, actually said, "Perhaps, for the first time this year, Steve Weiss is gonna be right," and the Fed will hike in September.

Steph Link said Draghi was much more hawkish than people thought, but nobody else seemed to think that was a big deal.

Steve Liesman explained that Rosengren said, "Low rates increase the chance of overheating (snicker) (giant snicker) the economy."

Judge suggested there's a "schism of sorts" among Fed voices.

Liesman said a hike after September is the "better bet" than a hike in September.

As for Dwyer's sensational call, "I think 6 to 10 could be the move that you see here," Doc said.

An old favorite, the Blockmeister, Mike Block, refreshingly turned up on Closing Bell with Kelly Evans and contended traders care more about fantasy football than Friday's market meltdown (for those fearing an out-of-control VIX).

Block said we're in a "slow grind where it's safe to own things."

Tom Lee on the 5 p.m. Fast Money said, "Today is the start of a chance to buy the market at a reasonable price."

More from Friday's Halftime later.

[Thursday, September 8, 2016]

Weiss 3 times says he is trying to ‘digest’ what Tony Dwyer said

Tony Dwyer on Thursday's Halftime claimed "it's a very squishy market" and somehow seems to think it has entered a correction (snicker) and said he's looking for "3 to 5%."

"Targets are the dumbest thing," said Dwyer, who has a 2,175.

Dwyer touted "bond surrogate trades" in more offensive sectors.

Stephen Weiss insisted, "I believe the Fed is going in September … the ISM didn't dissuade me," so he likes financials.

Joe Terranova pointed out a bevy of Fed moves during autumn of presidential election years.

Judge decides a stock is more attractive the lower it costs (a/k/a looks like it wasn’t all Dick’s fault)

Scott Devitt, star guest of Thursday's Halftime, predicted "cost cuts to come" at TWTR because of a "signification deterioration in the revenue run rate of the business."

Devitt, who likes to couch and hedge when it comes to TWTR management predictions, said the current team has about 6 months.

Boy, just like those marshals guarding Markinson in "A Few Good Men" (which has its own important "6 months" reference), you really gotta hand it to that Twitter board. A disaster is in progress, and they want to wait 6 months before doing anything about it.

Judge curiously said a potential buyer who likes the stock at 14 has a "conundrum" because the shares have risen to 19 on takeover speculation.

He explained, "The stock appreciation has in some ways made it less attractive."

Well … if you show up to buy something and find it's suddenly 33% more expensive than you thought, isn't it a little less attractive?

Pete Najarian entered the Laffalympics, stating with a straight face, "In my opinion, no one's gonna buy this thing for under $25 a share."

Pete even said the one thing that didn't come up in the Devitt conversation was "the NFL package" (snicker).

"That's not a game-changer is it?" asked Judge, incredulously, rightly.

But Devitt did mention "the direction of Yahoo."

Joe Terranova said the business model is deterioriating (for Twitter, not Yahoo); he doesn't like TWTR at 18 or even 15.

"I think the takeover's right around 20," said Doc late in the show.

Stephen Weiss said Twitter is a "tainted asset" and said caliber of investors is meaningless, pointing out that even brilliant investors rode Blockbuster Video down to zero.

Weiss doubled down on ripping Twitter's product. "I don't see the value in it," Weiss said.

We expected to see Bob Peck during this discussion, but Peck turned up on the 5 p.m. Fast Money, which must've had dibs. Peck didn't talk about why it was so important for TWTR to drop the previous CEO.

Joe issues cautionary comment for those dialing for free copy of How We Trade Options

It wasn't only TWTR that got shrugs from Steve Weiss on Thursday's Halftime.

Apple Inc. "could save their $8 billion R&D budget" just by copying Samsung and LG, Weiss contended.

Jon Najarian said he'll upgrade to the 7 and then the next one because 1) he wears out his phones quickly and 2) it's a good deal for him.

"I wasn't wowed by those airpods," Doc admitted, but he likes the A10 fusion chip of the iPhone 7.

Pete Najarian bellowed that Jon Fortt "was going crazy over the camera."

Joe Terranova grumbled about the lack of a fast charge. Pete bellowed that the battery's better.

Doc said he's going to do a 105/110 call spread in AAPL. Joe explained "there's very few people in the world" who can trade options as successfully as the Najarians have done for years.

Corporate governance update (but not involving refusing to take Mike Mayo’s phone call) (cont’d)

Jeff Osborne, who has a 160 underperform on TSLA, said on Thursday's Halftime he looks at the stock not from an "automotive angle" but a "clean tech angle." He said the cash burn with SCTY could be close to $5 billion and predicted a "sizable" equity raise next year.

Stephen Weiss offered a question to Osborne that was basically a statement. Weiss said he wouldn't own TSLA. Pete Najarian suggested 185 as a "bounce area" for TSLA.

Joe Terranova said the TSLA downside is "protected" because "ultimately" someone comes in and buys it.

Halftime Report spelling:
‘Superbowl’ as 1 word

Doc on Thursday's Halftime said NKE has been "sagging" and said he's been selling calls against it because he doesn't see a catalyst.

Stephen Weiss referred to the Piper author of the NKE report as a "he" when Judge said it's a "she." Weiss, who had a great show, asked Judge, "Did you have a rough day today?"

Judge claimed to Weiss, "Half my job is spent holding you to account."

Pete Najarian said Nike's "king" in China. Weiss said to buy on a pullback.

Pete said to "wait at least a couple of days" for TSCO.

Doc said he likes SVU if it holds $5.

Weiss endorsed LLY.

Joe Terranova said, "do not stand in the way" of MU.

Doc said someone did a "call stupid" with FXI October 40s and 40.50s. Pete said CYH October 12 calls were popular in August. Judge later mistakenly said Doc was talking about CYH.

Brian Stutland predicted "more momentum" in crude, maybe to 50. Anthony Grisanti said he wants to fade the rally near 48.

On the 5 p.m. Fast Money, Guy Adami asked Mel about the game Stratego, which is awesome. Mel had no clue, but she did talk about bikinis on Power Lunch with some guest.

Shocker: Entire Halftime gang picks yinz for Super Bowl

We nearly fell off the chair.

At the end of Thursday's Halftime, Judge's entire 4-man crew predicted the Pittsburgh Steelers will be the 2016 AFC champion. (Yes, Doc halfheartedly tried to change his choice to Kansas City (snicker).)

With all due respect to these astute gentlemen, this part of the program was amateur hour.

Half of the Steelers' offense is MIA. Martavis Bryant is the engine. He's out.

For the season.

Le'Veon Bell will miss at least 3 games. His suspension potential is off the charts. When he's not suspended, he's unfortunately suffering major injuries.

Antonio Brown is a great player but overrated. Brown is no Hines Ward, not even close. Bryant moves the offense. Brown moves the stats.

Left tackle is a turnstile.

There is no tight end whatsoever.

They do have a great QB, Brown's stats and DeAngelo Williams (who's in his 30s). And a very good offensive line in 4 of the 5 positions.

The defense is a little shoddy, but they've had some decent drafts, so that side is looking up.

It's all good for 9-7, mayyyybe 11-5 if everything breaks right.

Last year they were 10-6 and needed help to back into the playoffs. That was with Bryant.

Next year possibly could be the year.

Not this year.

Steve Weiss correctly noted that elite center Maurkice Pouncey is back. But Bryant is gone. And they survived Pouncey's absence last year with a decent backup.

Pete Najarian actually cited the addition of Ryan Harris — a reserve tackle who won't even play — as a plus.

Pete hailed Carolina as Super Bowl champs. When was the last time a Super Bowl loser came back and won.

Joe suggested the Super Bowl will be Pittsburgh vs. "Greenburgh." (That's all we need, reminders of playing 45 with no cornerbacks.)

More from Thursday's Halftime later.

[Wednesday, September 7, 2016]

Great, a CMG discussion, which means we get to hear about ‘Chipulte’ (sic)

Josh Brown on Wednesday's Halftime Report said he doesn't know that it's an "immediate positive" for Pershing Square to be in CMG.

"Chipotle has a revenue problem," Brown said, stating it has more of an "image problem than an operational problem."

Pete Najarian apparently thinks Ackman can decontaminate restaurants. "He'll speed this process up," Pete said.

When Ackman's CP closure was announced a few weeks ago, we wondered if Judge forced panelists to sign a statement stating CP is one of the greatest corporate turnarounds in corporate history in order to be allowed to appear on the program. On Wednesday, Judge hailed Ackman's previous restaurant investments; "he's had great success in this particular area."

Josh Brown though credited WEN to Nelson Peltz.

Joe Terranova curiously said Ackman may be "betting on" CMG getting a 2014 HLF-esque FDA reaction, "a slap on the wrist for Chipulte (sic pronunciation)."

Joe insisted, "There are many many headwinds for a turnaround story."

Joe said he has "no problem" with people buying CMG on the Ackman news, but don't believe this is a 3-month or 6-month story. Pete said you'll get a better price, don't chase on Wednesday.

Pete said CMG's troubles remind him of LULU.

Judge said "by most accounts," we're in a restaurant recession.

Doc said activists don't have as much impact on a company like CMG as private equity would, pointing to Olive Garden yanking the unlimited breadsticks.

Bringing up his favorite subject, Joe questioned if Chipotle has an app that you could order from.

Kate Kelly pointed out Ackman's "big win" in CP. "He has dabbled often and done well in (sic extra word) more times than he has failed in consumer-related stocks," Judge said.

Kelly pointed out CP (twice) (Drink), General Growth, MBIA (Drinks all around). (But what are the odds of knowing a random student at Harvard during the same time period except, by the way, he knows her because they were on the rowing team.)

Whew — an entire program without an is-September-on-the-table discussion

Sara Eisen, tagging along with Steph Curry, reported live from Taipei on Wednesday's Halftime Report (and every other CNBC show, with a 12-hour time difference) and aired a clip asking Curry about "dad shoes."

Doc reminded Judge that he bought UA a day ago. Josh Brown said UA has a pattern of higher lows, though he's not ready to commit. Joe Terranova said he thinks UA has bottomed.

Judge said Dos Equis "shouldn't ever have gotten rid of" Jonathan Goldsmith. Sue Herera said Goldsmith left on his own.

Josh is "not a fan" of SFM.

Doc said WDC upped guidance about 15%.

Pete suggested buying AMD on the dip.

The 5 p.m. gang talked about Mel and swimming, but not Mel's swimwear.

At least he didn’t say ‘invest (sic) in our infrastructure’

Late in Wednesday's Halftime, Judge asked the panel to entertain Deutsche Bank's 98 call on CAT, though the screen graphic spelled it "Deutshce (sic) Bank."

Doc said one negative about CAT is Saudi cutbacks. Josh Brown called 85 tough for CAT to top. Judge and Pete noted the Deutsche Bank analyst said Doug Oberhelman is bullish "no matter what." Pete said the analyst doesn't want to be too enthusiastic, but it's a "pretty enthusiastic call" to hang a 98 on CAT.

Adopting a typical, unfortunately meaningless, line from politicians, generally of the Democratic variety (though he has announced on the show he's supporting Trump), Joe Terranova said the new president will have to "rebuild the bridges, rebuild the roads" (snicker) to stimulate the economy.

Pete Najarian hailed airlines regaining momentum. Joe suggested staying in rails. Josh said the IYT has an inverted head and shoulders chart; Judge questioned if it's got dandruff.

Scott Nations said "we may have seen a bottom here in gasoline." Jim Iuorio said he thinks gasoline can fall further, especially if it trades 1.32.

Pete said there's unusual activity in SBUX September 56.50 calls. Doc said FXE December 113 calls were popular.

Fireworks at CNBC’s planning meeting for AAPL coverage (a/k/a no follow-through on what Cramer sees in the chart)

An hour before the supposedly big event, Judge on Wednesday's Halftime led a token preview of AAPL with Toni Sacconaghi.

But what we really noticed was Sully on Power Lunch revealing that he said in the planning meeting yesterday, "Apple is becoming Exxon."

Mel pointed out that Exxon bought XTO. Sully said Exxon "probably (snicker) overpaid (Drink)."

Meanwhile on Halftime, Toni Sacconaghi called the iPhone "integral" to Apple's success and said the 7's changes will be "more incremental."

Toni said he expects AAPL to drop the headphone jack but that users can just use an adapter for the charging port.

Jon Najarian said he likes AAPL below 105. Pete Najarian said there's still "plenty of upside" in AAPL. But Josh Brown said 110 has been resistance for AAPL.

More from Wednesday's Halftime later, including the tremendous CMG investment.

[Tuesday, September 6, 2016]

If they were going to hike, Yellen would’ve made it clear in Jackson Hole

Steve Liesman on Tuesday's Halftime Report shot down this loopy theory we've been hearing on CNBC for years, that the Fed needs to hike so that it can lower once we go into recession.

It's like saying you should slow down to 45 mph so that when you resume 55 mph, you'll be going faster.

"You don't want to put the economy into recession so that you have the tools to be able to take the economy out of recession," Liesman explained.

The preeminent media Deadhead called the services number "disappointing" and said it will be taken "seriously."

Liesman admitted he confused "literally" (Drink) and "figuratively" when talking about the economy previously being "on its knees."

Josh Brown said "surprise hikes" have had a different impact on the market than "well-telegraphed hikes."

Joe Terranova said the services report puts the Fed "back on hold." (Translation: No resetting of being caught offsides by Janet.)

Judge and Joe straightened out when exactly is Adam Parker's 2,300 target.

Joe suggested the market might be in a "vacuum" until mid-October, which could enable a "potential modest correction."

Phone etiquette apparently kinda the same thing as buying SCTY or paying Philippe Dauman 900 million dollars

Mike Mayo joined Tuesday's Halftime Report to state, after 14 years of underperformance, there are now 3 ways to lift CMA's stock price over the next 12 months.

Mayo called it "bad governance" that CMA didn't listen to his question on the earnings call.

Later in the show, Judge had a prompter stumble over "value" when reading the Comerica response (snicker).

Panel clueless as to what Cramer sees or doesn’t see in AAPL chart

Joe Terranova on Tuesday's Halftime questioned why Jim Cramer doesn't like the AAPL chart.

Josh Brown said the AAPL chart looks "constructive."

Judge said he's never seen an Apple phone launch this "ho hum."

Stephanie Link said the iPhone 8 might be called the iPhone 10.

Joe said of FB, "Absolutely at 128, I'd buy it."

Josh Brown said INTC is going higher; the Evercore ISI call is correct. That's our lone exception to our old-tech blackout.

Steph Link said she sold INTC but would be happy to buy back at "30 or below."

Judge promised Toni Sacconaghi on Wednesday.

Guess the TWTR takeout chatter wasn’t too strong on Tuesday

Jeff Kilburg on Tuesday's Halftime said he thinks China will help aluminum stabilize.

Bob Iaccino said Kilburg could be right short term, "but the overall trend is down."

Josh Brown suggested GT could go higher.

Joe Terranova said GILD is "too cheap" but there's "zero reason" to buy it on another upgrade. He likes AMGN.

Stephanie Link actually said, "Airlines couldn't even do well when oil prices were going up (sic)." Are rising oil prices good for airlines?

Joe said, "They need to change the model for the business flier."

Jon Najarian said October 25 calls in SYMC were popular and seemed to cite a Barron's article as at least part of the cause.

Doc added UA to his Halftime Portfolio in place of TJX. Joe said he likes the discount/dollar-store retailers.

Josh Brown put CW and WDAY in his Halftime Portfolio.

Stephanie Link touted M and JWN.

Joe referred to the "Permian Basian (sic pronunciation)."

[Friday, September 2, 2016]

No one has bothered to tell us exactly what an EpiPen should cost

Chris Raymond, who has an 82 on ABBV, told Judge on Friday's Halftime we have to "take a step back" and separate the headlines from what's happening in Hillary's war on drug pricing.

Judge questioned what would happen if Hillary Clinton mentions Abbvie while talking about Mylan and Valeant and explained that he has an opinion as to what ABBV shares would do.

Jim Lebenthal said the ABBV/ABT splitup really didn't unlock much shareholder value, so maybe there's already a lot of sum-of-the-parts valuations going on in the sector.

Jon Najarian and Josh Brown agreed that pharma longs should "pray" for these types of Hillary headlines.

Nobody seemed excited about MYL. What nobody's talking about is the importance (seriously) of whether Bresch is cute. She is. Not as cute as Meg Tirrell, don't go there but cute. She doesn't look like Martin Shkreli. There's a lot less enthusiasm, evidenced by Charles Grassley's CNBC remarks, for images of a professional woman getting beat up by senators.

Jim Lebenthal touted oncology and suggested BMY, which a bunch of Halftime folks were bragging about buying in the low 60s recently (John Spallanzani correctly predicted it would fall to the upper 50s). Late in the program, Doc said he bought BMY calls after seeing unusual activity.

John Spallanzani said if the Democrats take the Senate, "there's gonna be definitely price controls" in prescription drugs.

Barbara Doran was an excellent, articulate guest, though she looked down way too much.

Gotta say, we don’t see a hike here. (#Fuhgeddaboutit.)

Steve Liesman on Friday's Halftime said the jobs number tends to "lean them towards not hiking."

But Liesman, speaking about investing for 10-year returns (which isn't what the show is about), carped about Judge's suggestion of the market being caught "way offsides" if the Fed moves in an unexpected way.

Josh Brown carped at the market action on Friday. "The adults took over at some point, mid-morning," Brown said.

Jim Lebenthal asserted, "If uh the Fed were to raise right now, it would surprise the market."

Jon Najarian said he still doesn't see a September hike — and we give that opinion a healthy amount of credence given Doc's spectacular Brexit prediction.

Barbara Doran said she agrees with Lee Cooperman about this being a fairly valued market but that you have to be in stocks, just cautiously.

John Spallanzani predicted "tax cuts" no matter who wins the election.

Late in the show, Doc said Lacker "loses some credibility" in carping about how rates should be higher because there's nothing in the jobs report indicating such.

Whew — 2 days since anyone on the panel has gotten a donation returned by Hillary

Dana Telsey, who is cute, said on Friday's Halftime that the LULU slide is a "buying opportunity," stating margins are up and inventories are down.

Telsey also cited an "updated" website.

Doc said he shorted LULU into the bell because of "unusual put activity," but he covered and got long Friday morning.

Doc claimed the stock is in a "recovery" and not just making a parabolic, pre-Y2K-ish move.

Barbara Doran told Doc he was "smart" to buy Friday morning.

Doc said UA looks too cheap at 52-week lows.

Let’s not forget — Twitter might listen to offers!!!

Barbara Doran on Friday's Halftime made an interesting case for CMG, suggesting other brands have had these problems and recovered and that CMG could take a rocket ride at the first sign of improvement.

Jim Iuorio said if silver crosses 19 , it can reach 21. Jeff Kilburg said silver and other precious metals are poised to go higher, hike or no hike.

Jim Lebenthal said GPS seems like "The Charlie Brown of retail," and he'd avoid it.

Barbara Doran endorsed AVGO, saying it has "a lot more to go."

Doc said expectations for SWHC were apparently kind of high.

Josh Brown said AMBA is "OK here."

John Spallanzani called BCS a buy.

[Thursday, September 1, 2016]

Weiss indicates Twitter’s product simply sucks

Great Moments in Social Media (cont'd):

Kari Firestone on Thursday's Halftime said TWTR used to make "somewhat grandiose declarations" and recalled an IPO lunch in Boston when Dick "Costello" (sic pronunciation) claimed, "at a certain point, everyone on the globe (snicker) would be a Twitter user."

Twitter was the talk of the program after Evan Williams' comments a day earlier on a rival network (snicker) in which Williams indicated the company has to listen to offers.

Judge opened with Bob Peck, who said the company's product "cadence" looks good, "We don't think there's any takeout possibilities really in 2016."

But, Peck said we "could actually see" a takeout in 2017 if trends don't get better.

Peck even pointed out, "The Olympics did not help drive user growth in August."

Judge said TWTR doesn't want to "pull a Jerry Yang" and turn down an offer that looks great in a couple years.

Judge said Williams might've just been "uncomfortable" with the sale question and not making news about the possibility of offers.

Honestly, this is a mildly interesting topic, but this panel had virtually nothing to say on this subject … basically because there really isn't anything to say right now … and thus it was a pretty useless segment.

Peck said it's a "great proxy" that YHOO got bought for 5 times EBITDA while TWTR trades at 15 times EBITDA.

Doc said September 20 calls in TWTR were popular. But he said that number is a sign people aren't expecting a deal price to be any higher than low 20s.

Stephen Weiss said it's "ridiculous" to think of TWTR as an activist target, which no one really does anyway.

Weiss said it's a "pain in the neck" to find news on Twitter.

Josh Brown said he's in the stock and hopes TWTR doesn't sell for 22.

Seema Mody on the Halftime Futures Now and Karen Finerman (including new hairstyle) put on a show with smoldering new sweaters Thursday.

A ‘slam dunk,’ unless … (cont’d)

Steve Liesman said on Thursday's Halftime Report he doesn't think the 49.4 ISM number is enough to "derail" a Fed hike if indeed there is going to be a Fed hike.

Liesman said the Fed would be "cool" with another celebration of the Dead's 50th even if this is the 51st year 125 or 150 in Friday's jobs report.

Steve Weiss congratulated Liesman for a "phenomenal" question for Stan Fischer.

Kari Firestone said CRM's slide is a "buying opportunity." Pete Najarian pointed out the stock was trading last night around 72 and agreed it's a buying opportunity.

Judge said Marc Benioff didn't answer Cramer's question about buying TWTR (snicker). Doc said he doesn't see that happening.

"If anything, they need to buy Slack," said Josh Brown.

Janet was supposed to have ‘reset the narrative’ last week

Brian Stutland on Thursday's Halftime Report told Seema Mody, soooooo good-looking it should be illegal no it shouldn't, that coffee futures are more likely to affect DNKN and SBUX than the coffee consumer and are not going to the moon.

Jim Iuorio said he's looking at 1.65 though they might pull back to 1.48.

Pete Najarian said … drum roll … GDX calls were popular, this time the September 30s.

Kari Firestone touted ZTS, stating drug prices for animals are not under scrutiny. Josh Brown likes the stock though 51 has been resistance.

Firestone also likes CHTR. Steve Weiss suggested that's a call on the whole cable space.

Weiss said he'd buy COST if it falls further.

Doc said there were "strong moves" in casinos but didn't say whether to buy them.

Josh Brown said he won't buy CPB until the yield gets at least to 3%.

Pete said "Victoria Secret's lagging a little bit," which is why LB was down.

Josh Brown pointed out that European and Japanese banks have accompanied the recent rise in U.S. banks. Weiss said it's because a Fed hike allows other central banks not to have to ease.

Karen Finerman on the 5 p.m. Fast Money seemed to think it makes far more sense for the Fed to hike in September than to wait. Steve Grasso painted a dim outlook either way. "If they raise, the market sells off, if they don't rees- raise, we're flat," said No. 386.

Back to CNBCfix home

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FM Viewers Guide
Fast Money cliches

CNBCfix capsules:
Movie of the week

♦ Bonnie and Clyde
♦ Rain Man
♦ The Paper Chase
♦ The Cooler
♦ Giant & There Will Be Blood
♦ Return of the Jedi
♦ Rocky II
♦ The Last Picture Show & Friday Night Lights
♦ She's Out of My League
♦ Con Air

Movie review:
‘Wall Street’

Gordon Gekko:
The Michael Corleone
of Wall Street

CNBC/cable TV
star bios

♦ Jim Cramer
♦ Charles Gasparino
♦ Maria Bartiromo
♦ Lawrence Kudlow
♦ Karen Finerman
♦ Michelle Caruso-Cabrera
♦ Jane Wells
♦ Erin Burnett
♦ David Faber
♦ Guy Adami
♦ Jeff Macke
♦ Pete Najarian
♦ Jon Najarian
♦ Tim Seymour
♦ Zachary Karabell
♦ Becky Quick
♦ Joe Kernen
♦ Nicole Lapin
♦ John Harwood
♦ Steve Liesman
♦ Margaret Brennan
♦ Bertha Coombs
♦ Mary Thompson
♦ Trish Regan
♦ Melissa Francis
♦ Dennis Kneale
♦ Rebecca Jarvis
♦ Darren Rovell
♦ Carl Quintanilla
♦ Diana Olick
♦ Dylan Ratigan
♦ Eric Bolling
♦ Anderson Cooper
♦ Neil Cavuto
♦ Liz Claman
♦ Monica Crowley
♦ Bill O'Reilly
♦ Rachel Maddow
♦ Susie Gharib
♦ Jane Skinner
♦ Kimberly Guilfoyle
♦ Martha MacCallum
♦ Courtney Friel
♦ Uma Pemmaraju
♦ Joe Scarborough
♦ Terry Keenan
♦ Chrystia Freeland
♦ Christine Romans

CNBC guest bios

♦ Bill Gross
♦ Dennis Gartman
♦ Diane Swonk
♦ Meredith Whitney
♦ Richard X. Bove
♦ Arthur Laffer
♦ Jared Bernstein
♦ Doug Kass
♦ David Malpass
♦ Donald Luskin
♦ Herb Greenberg
♦ Robert Reich
♦ Steve Moore
♦ Vince Farrell
♦ Joe LaVorgna
♦ A. Gary Shilling
♦ Joe Battipaglia
♦ Addison Armstrong
♦ Jack Bouroudjian
♦ Stefan Abrams
♦ Warren Buffett