FCC considers banning
‘Redskins’ from airwaves

"There are a lot of names and descriptions that were used over time that are inappropriate today. And I think the name that is attributed to the Washington football club is one of those"

Aggressive panhandler population soaring in Lincoln, Neb.

"A good indicator that it's getting bad is when the transients are not afraid to harass me — a 6-5 bearded man with tattoos — daily"
Explained: "The reason people are panhandling is that people do give them money ... I actually saw a guy go to U.S. Bank, come back and give her money"
Strategy: "Go to a college town. Younger people more sympathetic and freer with cash"
Explained: "For a lot of students from small towns, this is the first time they are seeing a situation like this. And it tears their heart out. In their heads they are doing the right thing"
Tip: "Give your donations to the service providers that can actually help the people down on their luck, and don’t give directly to panhandlers themselves. That money goes to the nearest liquor store, and you are only enabling them to continue to abuse drugs"

Georgia students decry homecoming scheduling on Yom Kippur

"We are not here to place blame on the school, but rather to speak up for ourselves"

News Corp. paying $950 million for realtor.com

Synergy: "We certainly expect this deal to amount to far more than the sum of its parts"

Boeing exec unloads rare attack on union chief

"We haven't heard a public attack like (Keating’s) before, but we've heard it through back channels"

Woman survives thug’s stabbing to run marathon

"He just told me I was lucky I was a fighter and he walked away"

Died: George Shuba, 89, congratulated Jackie Robinson in 1946

"Shotgun" produced National League's first pinch-hit World Series round-tripper

Gasparino: Happy Pimco employees unleashed Paul Simon

"'50 ways to leave your lover' not me getting thrown out of @FoxBusiness its the song @PIMCO blasted when Gross split"

WMT blames Tracy Morgan, 45, for not wearing a seat belt

Lawyer: "Surprising" ... "appalling" ... "disingenuous"

22nd state prepares for AMZN taxation starting Oct. 1

Shopper: "I was very disappointed to hear that was coming, but the convenience of shipping negates any inconvenience and I'm definitely not going to change my habits"

St. Louis embraces Uber premium service, not regular kind

“They connect people to cars. They don’t own the cars"

Folk guitar player, 27, charged in arson spree

"He is extreme, but I don't think he would do anything that would hurt anyone"

2 armed thugs rob 4 women in tavern

"Several more customers were inside the bar at the time of the robbery"

Died: Sally Kalson, 63, asked obituary omit ‘courageous battle’

"Don't let the obituary writer say 'after a courageous battle with cancer,' she advised a few close friends. What a cliche that would be, and anyway, what choice did she have but to be courageous?"

Goodell, 55, ‘moved to tears’ at domestic violence hotline

"He mentioned they are very committed to understanding the issue further, and that he has a team of advisers who will continue to inform him on those policies"

Oakland protesters prevent unloading of Israeli ship

"I think it was a big victory today for those who are opposed to the policies in Gaza"

Airbnb guest alarmed to find surveillance camera in kitchen

Prof: "When you rent a room, you are renting the right to privacy in that room. The fact that you did not inspect every inch of the room does not change that"

Stevie Nicks, 66, explains drama behind ‘Sara’

"Had I married Don and had that baby, and had she been a girl, I would have named her Sara. But there was another woman in my life named Sara, who shortly after that became Mick’s wife"

Gross, 70, met with Gundlach, 54, before taking post with Janus

5 Pimco execs to Allianz: He goes, or we go
Odd: "Showing up at a mutual fund industry forum to give an address wearing sunglasses and writing a monthly investor letter that was essentially an ode to his dead cat"
Ron Insana, "Closing Bell": "I don't think Bill is crazy. I don't think Bill is nuts ... I've known Bill for 25 years ... he is idiosyncratic, he is quirky in his writing, I know he writes poems about his cats ... you have to do something to get their attention ... I really don't think Bill is crazy ..."

Grease thieves swipe $1,500 worth of restaurant garbage

"The contracting company came and they came to remove the grease from behind the restaurants and they discovered that the dumpsters or containers were empty. They normally expected to find anywhere from 6-to-7,000 pounds of grease which surprisingly has a value over a thousand dollars and when they came to retrieve that grease, it was gone. There is value to it. It is a product that's refined into fuel or other bio type liquids and if we are able to identify that person, they could face a felony theft charge"

Dallas tour bus puts slogan unfortunately next to JFK head

"Simply in bad taste. Beyond that, there is the rather unfortunate placement of the bus’s back door handle in the center of Kennedy’s forehead"

Actress wearing only flannel shirt escapes intruder on roof

Earlier detained, released: "I saw this guy this morning in handcuffs"

Uri Geller, 67, wants job at Apple

"I don't own an iPhone 6 … but if I did I have no doubt I could bend it with my mind"

Toyota Prius driver, 33, speeds away with parking cop on hood

"The meter reader saw Monsoumbath take a street-sweeping parking ticket off the windshield of the car parked in front of hers and put it on her Prius near Alamo Square, apparently to avoid getting a ticket of her own"

Female city official denies driving 105 mph in city truck

"He wouldn't show me the radar gun. . . . It's just a bunch of ridiculousness. He's completely false in that statement … I was pacing a semi"

Died: Mike Harari, 87, led hunt for 1972 Munich Olympic terrorists

Depicted (in uniform) in Steven Spielberg movie; indicted for Norway mistake

Hacker breach at Jimmy John’s ‘has been contained’

"Customers can use their credit and debit cards securely at Jimmy John's stores"

Iconic music venue fails to reopen at Mall of America

"Often finding appropriate financing terms can be a substantial obstacle for small business. This seems to be the circumstances for 400 Bar as they prepared to open at Mall of America"

Truck runs over construction worker’s ankle on sidewalk

"The ambulance driver declined to comment on the seriousness of the injury"

Thug transient, 47, wanted in spree of ATM robberies

3 stickups, 2 carjackings

2 surfers rescued at SF’s Ocean Beach

Both critical

NFL’s Rob Bironas, 36, tried to run at least 2 cars off road

1. "His window was down, and we pulled up and I said, 'Hey man, just a heads-up, something's burning from your exhaust. Your exhaust smells horrible, just wanted to let you know.' He looked over at me and said, 'I'm going to kill everybody in your (expletive) vehicle.' It was so random, so bizarre, I was like, 'What?' And he said the exact same thing again ... It was a fight or flight situation and, unfortunately, we had to take flight at about 110 miles per hour. It was very scary ... He's been swerving all over the road. We're exceeding the speed limit, but it's because he's literally trying to do whatever it takes to hit us ... I am not trying to soil this guy's reputation or his legacy. I know this community thinks very fondly of him. I am just being honest, and I'm trying to get this off my chest. He tried to kill us. He told us he was going to try and kill us. I've never gotten a look from somebody like that, I just don't understand it. That's a face that's been in my head the last few days"
2. "As we got closer, the white SUV took like a bat out of hell and passed us. He passed us going very fast. We were like 'Holy crap, what was that?' It was startling how fast he was going. He was going very, very fast. He was stopped, and he just floored it"
Wife to cops: Bironas told her good night at 10:30 p.m.
Wife to 911: Last spoke with Bironas around 9:40 p.m.

Cops finish delivery of injured Pizza Hut driver

"They turn around to leave, and I said, ‘whoa, whoa, whoa — I got to get a picture of this. No one is going to believe Portland police delivering a pizza.’ So that’s the picture everyone saw. I wanted these officers to get a little recognition"
Police statement: “The Bureau’s official position on community policing is that it’s important to invest time having positive interactions with the community. In this instance, taking a few minutes to deliver someone their dinner is a perfect example of what kind of officers we want in Portland – officers who care about those they serve"
Grateful: Injured driver wants to cater pizza party for cops

CNBC, citing colleague: Rich Ilczyszyn, 46, died of embolism

"The apparent cause of Rich Ilczyszyn's tragic death was a pulmonary embolism caused by deep vein thrombosis, Rich's coworker told us today"

James Harrison, 36, unretires, will suit up for Steelers on Sunday

"It was a simple and easy decision"

CNBC contributor Rich Ilczyszyn, 46, dies

Family: "Rich had a love for life as well as an appreciation for the fragility of it. He always encouraged others to live fully and spend time with those they love and hold dear. iiTrader is a testament to Rich's inherent creativity and resilience. iiTrader will continue to innovate and move forward"

Bill Fleckenstein slams interview with Jackie DeAngelis

"The certainty with which the woman that I got interviewed by this week sees the future, and the need to be involved in stocks is rather remarkable since most talking heads don’t know anything about investing"
Still waiting: Article notes no sign of short fund promised since late 2013

Barry Ritholtz admits writing before thinking

"Often, I have no idea what I thought about a subject until I begin to write about." (sic)

Seema Mody has Samsung Galaxy, likes wearing skinny jeans

"I have a Samsung Galaxy. Um, because of that, yes, I have bigger purses. But skinny jeans, I still have to say, I do enjoy wearing"
Carolin Roth: "So apparently it's all about skinny boyfriend jeans now, that's the new trend, I haven't- I haven't worn them, I haven't seen them, but they look OK" (sic)
Seema: "We'll have to go shopping"
Carolin: "It's a great excuse, isn't it"

Moody’s newspaper, mag outlook ‘negative through at least late 2015’

"Little evidence that the U.S. newspaper and magazine industry will generate sufficient income from digital subscriber fees, non-print advertising or marketing services over the next year to offset stress on print volumes and pricing"

Beautiful actress in AT&T ‘Lily’ ads is Milana Vayntrub

Credits include "ER," "Days of Our Lives"

NFL kicker Rob Bironas, 36, dies; son-in-law of Terry Bradshaw, 66

Punter: "Just thinking about him ... can we talk about this tomorrow?"
Fox pregame: "Terry was very emotional when he left this morning to go back home"

0.21%: Drunkard, 57, flags down cop to say ‘hello,’ is arrested

"Told police his license was suspended due to a previous DUI"

Man, 83, rides motorcycle into pole, dies

Death ruled accident

Roger Goodell, 55, ‘churlish’ toward female reporter, 40

"At a time when Goodell badly needed to regain his credibility, it took another hit ... deflected questions he didn't like, such as the legitimate one from CNN's Rachel Nichols about the perceived lack of independence of his independent panel"
Tedy Bruschi: "Needs to step down"

Wall Street proves pushovers for Jack Ma, 49

"The hero I had is Forrest Gump. 14 years ago. I really like that guy. I've been watching that movie for about 10 times. Every time when I'm frustrated, I watch the movie. I watch the movie before I came here ... I watched the movie again telling me that no matter whatever changed, you are you. And I'm still the guy 15 years ago, you know, I only earn like $20 a month"
Meetings: Dimon, Weill, Kravis, Fink, Immelt, Clinton, Perelman, Sonnenfeld ...

Inmate escapes courtroom as ‘guilty’ verdict is read

"Scuffled" with 3 deputies

Cops: Gym member, 46, killed fellow member with weightlifting bar

Suspect "gets jealous a lot ... I think he saw the other guy talking to her, flirting with her, and I think he got really angry, came up from behind and hit him in the head with a bar we use for tricep dips. ... This came out of nowhere. I've never seen anything like this happen at the gym"

Gasparino turns up in CNBC photo at Core Club

Maybe it'll come up on "Squawk Box," maybe it won't

Oakland reverses garbage contract, awards to WMX

"When the council approved the original deal in August, some council members celebrated with high fives and posed for photos with California Waste Solutions leaders"

Lawyer Photoshops herself in celeb photos, faces suspension

Judge called it "deceptive advertising"

Ads for new Fox TV show dropped from L.A. buses

“I don't know if I find it more offensive because I'm black, or because I'm a woman"

Seattle TV station apparently exiting Amazon’s block

"Basement gym so dated the dumbbells are labeled 'Property of D. Bullitt'"

One leg to another: Man, early 20s, shot in butt

"(Witnesses) said he was running, so probably pure adrenaline kept him going"

3 thieves steal 3 cars from Bob Hurley Ford dealership

Black and red Mustangs, at 2:20 a.m.

Felon, 39, another man shoot dog mistaken for wolf

"This is a good example of an idea that while at first glance may seem like a good one, in the end, has some very unfortunate consequences. What we've essentially done is empowered felons to have guns"

Woman, 84, nearly duped in phone lottery scam

"In this case, the number displayed was the victim's own home number, that can occasionally trick victims into answering the phone when they otherwise would not"

1 in 10 show up to work high

"We don't want someone showing up to work drunk, on Vicodin or high on marijuana"

Man, 30, running pizza/chicken shack in dicey ’hood tied to ISIL

"It's not a so-good neighborhood, but as far as him selling food and then he trying to be a terrorist, a lot of people against that. I'm pretty sure that if people in the 'hood knew that, he wouldn't have been there no longer anyways"

Pro Football Hall of Fame: ‘Anyone can nominate anyone’

"You want to nominate your uncle Buck, whose career consisted of playing two games as a long snapper for the Cleveland Browns in the 1980s? Place the call to Canton and he will be on the list next year"

Good guy, 32, finds name in police report given by sly arrestee

"They're giving information that’s incorrect, and it’s reported incorrectly and the rest of the world gets to see it. So I get to spend time cleaning up and mopping up this mess. It’s a huge headache. I grew up with Chad Wilson but I haven’t talked to him in about 15 to 20 years. We grew up together and his birthday was one day past mine. Mine is Oct. 8 and his is Oct. 9, so it was pretty easy information to remember and with him writing my name and my date of birth, it’s a pretty easy way to get the information construed so he could do this"

Associated Press using ‘Islamic State,’ not ‘ISIS’ or ‘ISIL’

"Things then changed with ISIL's decision in July to rebrand itself as the 'Islamic State'"

19% of American households lack computer access

"If you're not plugged in, and you're in the younger generation, you're being left out"

Man, 50, used 2 fake $20 bills at McDonald’s drive-thru

Tried to add on to meal at 2nd window; also faked $1, cops say

Underachieving safety, 27, surprised at missed tackles by Steelers

"I really think tackling, like Lombardi said, is your mentality and your want-to. If someone steals a dollar, how bad do you want to get it back?"

Liquor, cigarette taxes at Galveston port anger cruise customers

"A lot of passengers were stating that this will be the last time they are cruising out of Galveston. We'll go to Miami"

Pal, 16, lights teen driver’s, 18, armpit on fire; SUV crashes

16-year-old cited for interfering with the driver's safety

Cops: Gun recovered, thug arrested in State Fair robbery

Pair got $10,000 from craft brewer's exhibit

Student injured by shop class saw, sues school district

Claim: Wood bound up and jerked his hand into the blade

Man, 27, struck by train is cited for walking on tracks

"Relatively minor injuries," under the influence of alcohol

Elderly driver, 88, accelerates through bank’s door

Some employees "shaken up"

Lincoln, Neb., thieves steal $5,500 in rubber speed bumps

"It was pretty calculated and well-planned"

Man, 26, allegedly robbed 2 stores in an hour

Could be related to similar crimes in 3 other communities

San Francisco taxi rides plunge 65% in 15 months

Ridesharing has "dramatically changed the for-hire transportation industry"

Bill Fleckenstein on missing stock market rally: ‘So what?!’

"I'm not kicking myself. I don't care, it doesn't matter. I don't have to play every day"

Jewelry store staff closed shop with customer still inside

Luckily, cops were summoned: "Let's get that genius out of there"

Anheuser-Busch ‘disappointed’ with NFL

"We are not yet satisfied with the league’s handling of behaviors that so clearly go against our own company culture and moral code"

MSFT swaps 2 board members, eyes next stage of job cuts

"As one of our earliest board members, Dave has played an indispensable role in Microsoft’s growth and development. Dina has also been a great board member for almost a decade"

Still friends: Kelly Evans quotes Anthony Scaramucci on TV

Kelly Evans: "And Alexandra in fact there's a quote from our friend Anthony Scaramucci in your piece, that caught my attention because it really gets to the heart of this. So he's defending the hedge-fund industry and basically laying the blame on CalPers, saying it's an admission that they don't have the right staff or the right managers. Ouch"
Alexandra Stevenson: "Well listen, um, I mean, I don't think anybody, uh, thinks that CalPers is unsophisticated. They are considered the bellwether in the pension industry. Um, so, I think it's a bit of an unfair, uh, criticism for him to make. Um, but, uh, you know, the question is, and the one thing that he brought up is, whether, uh, this is the right time to be exiting hedge fund investments"

Ex-Wal-Mart spokesman, 40, says résumé mistake is ‘on me’

"I was an art major going into a communications field. I didn't think a degree was necessary to pursuing my career. It was an error of omission. That's a mistake, that's on me. I’m going to move forward in the right way"

Parking horror: SF fans trapped 2 hours in Levi’s Stadium lots

"I went 25 feet in an hour. It was just to the point where it was really, really getting out of control back there" ... "The traffic leaving the game was so bad that I was considering getting a hotel for the next home games, but I hope it doesn't come to that"
Solutions: "I got to be honest — that's one you can't really solve for, when 70,000 people all leave at the same time, but I'm not going to stop until we make it as optimal as we can"

Apple creates help page for removing free U2 album on iTunes

But if you have deleter's remorse, you'll have to download it again

Anthony Scaramucci: Romney will run in 2016

Perhaps things will be different this time

Chicago mayor skips journalism gala, says he never confirmed

"He dropped a virtual F Bomb on us"

Radisson suspends sponsorship of Vikings over Peterson, 29

"Takes this matter very seriously"

Seema Mody gives thumbs-up to 1st day as WWEX co-host

"First done - done! ... Thanks for watching!"

Indianapolis Star moving to old Nordstrom site in Simon mall

"Exponentially more" rent than JWN; "the former occupant was not paying a lot of rent. The rent was negligible" ... lease "economically very good for the (mall's) ownership group"

Bicyclist, 43, hit by car may have been drinking

"Speed does not appear to be a factor

Cat Stevens, 66, launching 6-city ‘Peace Train’ tour

"I've been a bit slow in coming around to the United States, but there were so many people asking me to do that, that I just felt an obligation. I wouldn't be writing songs if I didn't have something to say"

Rutgers apologizes for Jerry Sandusky, 70, T-shirts

"Photos including the shirts and 'a banner with stick figures portraying a sex act with Penn State written on the top' appeared on the official Rutgers football Facebook page"

Man who claimed needle in burger fails to show for hearing

"Wasted the time and resources of the defendants and their counsel, and those of the court"

Man shot to death driving car in East Oakland at 8:10 p.m.

Crashed nearby; no arrests

BMW plows perfectly through tavern’s double doors

"Pretty much destroyed the bar area ... All I can say is it's a miracle no one was killed"

Gavin Newsom, 46, demands 49ers bench Ray McDonald, 30

"Painful affront to every victim of domestic violence and sends a troubling message to our community and especially our children that 'zero tolerance' are empty words, not real actions"

Proposal to carve California into 6ths fails to make ballot

"Six Californias will conduct a review of the signatures determined to be invalid by the registrars in several counties to determine if they were in fact valid signatures"

TV anchorman tells viewers he only has months to live

Goal: "A few more days and make them the best they can be"

Pia Zadora, 61, seriously injured in golf cart

In ICU, able to speak

Gasparino questions investor rights at Alibaba

"how can u have shareholder rights on @AlibabaTalk when a-the co is run by the communist Chinese b-the ownership structure looks like enron"

SkyBridge didn’t return CNBC’s call

Business Insider: Business channel had 2nd thoughts about ending partnership with Anthony Scaramucci after ultimatum, got no reply

Senator, 67, challenges Zuck, 30, to hire American workers

"Let me just say one more thing: Facebook has 7,000 workers. Microsoft just laid off 18,000. Why doesn’t Mr. Zuckerberg call his friend Mr. Gates and say: Look, I have to hire a few hundred people; do you have any résumés you can send over here? Maybe I will not have to take somebody from a foreign country for a job an unemployed U.S. citizen might take"

Male, female Ravens fans proud to wear Ray Rice jerseys

"The way the NFL is doing this whole thing is wrong"

It’s over, Bud Fox: Daryl Hannah, 53, dating Neil Young, 68

"She's a huge Neil fan"

Fake online students scam $200,000 in financial aid from college

Alert professors "helped us put two and two together"

After 2-day search, man, 69, on ATV found stuck in mud

Should've called 911, but "we were able to find a needle in a haystack with a little help"

Robber, 23, in Walgreens bust admits a dozen others

"This is a gentleman who has terrorized a minimum of 14 people when you look at the number of robberies and contacts he made … This is a prolific robber and we are happy to get him off the streets"

49ers suspend announcer, 57, over remarks about Rice’s wife

Notre Dame grad: "I want to unconditionally apologize for my comments the other day"
"The Pac-12 Network said Robinson will undergo sensitivity training"

Facebook testing letting users schedule post deletion

But: "Posts deleted from your profile can remain on Facebook servers for up to 90 days"

Woman, 65, hit by TV is first Napa earthquake death

Complained of headache, did not seek treatment until feeling dizzy next day

Homeowner pulls out bedroom pistol, guns down armed intruder, 25

"Wearing a mask 'like a hoodie (but) only his eyes were showing' ... The bullet hit the shotgun before striking Ziminack in the stomach"

Fitch cuts Sears credit rating deeper into junk status

"We don't agree with their action given our demonstrated history of honoring our financial commitments while continuing to invest in our transformation"

Jamie Foxx surprises fans at Mall of America

Greeted members from Big Brothers/Big Sisters program at screening of "Annie"

Hero cops stop girl, 14, from jumping off Brooklyn Bridge

Grabbed after walking across construction beam

Colorado hiring construction workers starting at $15/hour

"Some days you go home and realize you helped build this building and help build this bridge"

Man, 20s, dies in golf-cart accident

Pair were heading downhill when driver lost control

Grieving dad balks at $50 increase for burying cremated remains

"I lost my son last September. And they didn't have to go down more than 2 feet [for burial.] This increase is excessive. How long does it take to fill a hole?"
Chair: "It's tough when you lose someone. We can find a revenue source somewhere else"

Died: Bob Suter, 57, member of 1980 ‘Miracle on Ice’ heroes

1st player on team to pass; stricken by apparent heart attack in lobby of his ice rink
Off the ice: "One of Bob's unique talents was connecting with kids. ... He helped them with equipment and gave them quarters to play bubble hockey. For children aged 5 to 105, Bob was like the fun uncle for a thousand kids that came through those doors. Bob did not care where a kid came from or what his or her name was. He helped them" ... "It's all about the kids. He dedicated his life to kids and hockey. They were his passions"

Anthony Scaramucci, 50, signs exclusive deal with Fox Business

Contract "doesn’t specifically include 'Wall $treet Week' but has 'great flexibility'"

Jon Friedman’s 5 things to reverse CNBC ratings crisis won’t work

CNBCfix comment: 1. They're glad they unloaded Bartiromo's salary; 2. Kelly Evans/Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis has already been emphasized; 3. David Faber got a heightened role a few years ago; 4. Discovering a "greater number of stars" is like saying "Draft a bunch of Hall of Famers" ...

Crackdown: Omaha Lyft drivers keep pink mustaches in trunk

"It seems like it’s about intimidation"
State: "The law is on the books. It's our obligation to enforce the statutes"

Butter hits record $2.99 a pound at CME

Paper: "Trans-fat laden butter substitutes have fallen out of favor with consumers"

Popular Berkeley blogger, 76, passes away

"Even the neighborhood security guards would pull over to chat when their shifts ended. Ron was a fixture. In a lot of ways, he was our mayor" ... "He had that old-fashioned sensibility, but he adapted it to a modern format. And he did it just the way he wanted: on his own terms"

Politico columnist: Snap out of it, Mr. President

"He has always understood optics. He just temporarily stopped caring about them. It was as if he wanted to escape the theatrics of his office, if only for a few weeks"

Driver, 69, causes crash, found covered in cocaine

"Trail of a white powdery substance on his nose and around his nostrils, around his mouth and chin, on the front of his shirt and the front of his pants"

Starter gun idea wins $10,000 student startup prize

"Wickersham says his Race Torch would be a lower decibel, less expensive option to starting guns and the blanks that are fired from them at track meets"
Others: "My Combine," an assessment system for high school athletes

NBC online producer, 30, busted for posting sex tape

Girlfriend found out month later, split, called cops

Web map suggesting record snowfall is a hoax

"As is often the case with stories from similar hoax news sites, the slightly plausible nature of the headline induced many users to post and repost the link without careful examination"

Baltimore TV critic calls for resignation of Roger Goodell, 55

"He's pathetic. The national media did to him what we didn't do here in Baltimore: Publicly shame him for the joke 2-game suspension he levied against Rice. If Goodell has any shame, it's time for him to think about an exit strategy"
Bill Plaschke: "If a coverup is confirmed, he should lose the public's faith, his owners' good will, and ultimately his job"

Dick’s Sporting Goods told to pull Ray Rice jerseys

Patriots handed out 2,500 replacements for Aaron Hernandez, recycled the returns

Charlotte OK of streetcar funding ‘great big redistribution of wealth’

"I appear to be Dr. No tonight"

Mob of teen thugs swarms Memphis Kroger; 3 beaten

"Point them out, knock them out ... There was no real reason behind it"
Law: "Since the suspect, 15, is a minor his name will not be released and technically he cannot be charged with a crime. When the suspect turns 18 he will be able to honestly say he’s never been convicted of a crime when applying for a job. He can also legally purchase a gun"

ISIS monsters issue threat against Twitter employees

Hashtag "The concept of lone wolf attacks"

Gavin Newsom, 46, praises ‘larger than life’ portrait of Arnold, 67

"[Jerry Garcia] had a wonderful quote saying, `You don’t want to be the best of the best. You want to be the only one that does what you do.' And it’s a way to describe Arnold Schwarzenegger"

Popular Pinterest blogger gets call from Target

"The biggest advice I have is just really be yourself. It's such a cliché to say but no one can do you better than you. Try to be fearless. I have to tell myself that every day. It's a little scary to put yourself out there, especially when you didn't expect something like this to happen"

‘Daisy’ political ad turns 50

Spot seen by 50 million in 1964 cost $25,000 — or approximately $192,000 in today's dollars

Senator apologizes for quoting beheaded journalists

"Steve Sotloff and James Foley would tell us, don't be impulsive. Horrible and barbarous as those executions were, don't be impulsive, come up with a plan to knock ISIL back"

CNBC ratings at 21-year low; Gasparino exit cited

"Frequently accused of failing to report negative news regarding Wall Street's elite banks"

Man, 40s, dies of shark attack off Australia

"He was seen floating in shallow water, close to the shoreline, dragged on to the beach"

1 game since QB’s $126 mil. deal, Bears fans want money back

Tight end: "I don't know what happened on that s---. The fat guy got a pick"

Bill Murray, 63, trades places with sax-playing Oakland cab driver

"Not only did he play all the way to Sausalito, which is a long way, we stopped and got barbecue. He (wound up) playing in what some would call a sketchy, weird place in Oakland at 2:15 in the morning ... It was great and it made for a beautiful night!"

Cops: CVS worker set up phone video in women’s restroom

Warrant: "Accused did hide his Huawei cellphone in the vent over the toilet in the women's bathroom of the CVS Pharmacy where he worked"

Owner of 138 Applebee’s moving HQ to Georgia

"Reasonable cost of living, the availability of highly skilled restaurant management expertise and convenient access to the rest of the country through Hartsfield–Jackson"

Email with racial overtones sinks Atlanta Hawks co-owner

The email: "when digging into why our season ticket base is so small, i was told it is because we can’t get 35-55 white males and corporations to buy season tixs and they are the primary demo for season tickets around the league. when i pushed further, folks generally shrugged their shoulders. then i start looking around our arena during games and notice the following:
— it’s 70 pct black
— the cheerleaders are black
— the music is hip hop
— at the bars it’s 90 pct black
— there are few fathers and sons at the games
— we are doing after game concerts to attract more fans and the concerts are either hip hop or gospel"

Jim Kelly, 54, cancer-free

"This is some of the greatest news I've ever gotten"

CNBC’s Robert Frank writes ‘Why rich candidates can’t get elected’

Poll: Illinois rich guy in Frank article leading incumbent by 8 points

Mike Dunleavy, 60, inducted into South Carolina Hall of Fame

Traded at Merrill Lynch: "I said to myself, 'I'm probably not going to run Merrill Lynch, although I can make a lot of money there. So I think I'm going to try this coaching stuff'"

Jack Bogle, 85: It’s not just the Fed and low rates

"What investors have to be careful about is crawling out so far out on that limb to get more yield that the limb doesn't snap off and they're all of a sudden on the ground"

Thugs in Porsche carjack man’s Jeep at LA Fitness

"At that point, he tossed the suspect his keys, telling him everything he had was in the Jeep. The suspect then took the keys, entered his Jeep and drove away with the Porsche following"

Lincoln Financial allows axed radio host to say goodbye on air

"He at first agreed to talk to me but then changed his mind without saying why"

Job cuts coming ‘across the studio’ at Warner Bros.

Basically L.A. Times article consists of posting the memo

Seattle fan raises 12th Man flag at home every day

Hot item at pregame concession stand is $14 arm warmer

Woman, 20, doing 85 mph eyeing Facebook hits SUV, kills woman, 89

"Determined that Sletten was viewing pictures on her Facebook application on her phone"

Chinese builder investing $1 billion in U.S. housing market

"The Chinese housing market is slowing down. In the U.S., it's coming up. We saw an opportunity to diversify ... We think we'll sell maybe 30% to Chinese buyers"

USA Today axes 60-70

"I was also informed by phone. Took all of five minutes to disassemble 11 years of work. Nights, weekends, holidays, ungodly hours, missed key moments in my daughter’s early childhood… And with the explanation that it was a business decision and that I did nothing wrong. None of us saw this coming. Not even a suggestion. Quite the bombshell"

Menards shopper, 38, dies from tile pallet; Geoffrey Fieger, 63, suing

Damages? "There's not enough zeros on your typewriter"

Armed robbers hit state fair, take $10K from craft beer exhibit

Thefts have occurred before, but not stickups with guns

Thugs fire at home 3 times in 2 weeks

Looking for someone who doesn't live there

Gasparino wastes time tweeting during Aerosmith concert

Charlie: "Tyler killing it w that elevator song"
Tweeter: "Have a cocktail or 3 and enjoy the show instead of tweeting every 5 minutes... Lol"
Charlie: #Jealous
Tweeter: "Naaa .... saw them In their prime ...."
Charlie: "so did i better now"

Woman, 31, busted for shoplifting $144 in makeup

"Tried to damage the makeup as she pulled it out of her purse so items would appear used"

Judge orders state to issue ‘WAR SUX’ license plate

"Under the consent agreement, the state can't ban variations of that word 'on grounds that the word is sexual in nature' when it's merely being used as a slang for something objectionable"

Judges avoid removal for having sex in chambers

One had liaisons with intern and lawyer in same year, both former students
Other was appointed by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Gasparino questions celebrities’ photo decisions

"still trying to figure out why there are naked pix of Jennifer Lawrence in the first place"

SEC bust: Woman cleared of insider trading after 11 years

"Clearly identified herself to the fund at the time of redemption"

Police chief kills boy’s pet chicken

"It's against city ordinance for a chicken to be in the city and running around in yards"
"Rocky II" imagery: "I feel like I made a good effort to get it"
Technique: Shovel seemed to be "safest way to dispatch it"
Satisfied: "I guess I don’t regret it, because it’s like taking care of any rodent in town" ... wanted to give aggrieved neighbor "some results"
Mom's fiancé: "I said, 'So you came to our home and killed our chicken with our shovel?' He said, ‘Yup. Any questions?’ That’s the thing that makes me mad"

Laid-off columnist Bob Kerr: Vietnam vet, total class act

"I've been very lucky. I knew it when it was a great paper, I knew it when it was a good paper. I was sad to see what happened to it, but it's always been great to write the column. I've done the column for a little over 20 years and that's the best job in the place and met a lot of great people because of it. So I don't have any regrets. I wish it could have ended better"

Man, 38, gropes Taco Bell worker’s butt through window: cops

"Exited from his vehicle and reached inside of the window and grabbed ..."

Socialites sued over ‘violent fall’ at home

"Made to go outside in the rain and walk upon a slippery and dangerous area of the property to place some garbage in a trash can"

Dick Bove warns: Mortgage crisis by winter

"The source of my fear is clear. If the government is adamant that the GSEs must go, housing prices will fall. This will be a crisis"

Jeff Bezos, 50, ousts last Graham, 48, from WaPost leadership

"You don't shrink your way to success. The Post is on the move. There's no question"
Standards: New publisher, 59, believes in "objective journalism"

Camping World founder, 71, dies slipping off home’s roof

David Garvin started retail chain at 23
Marcus Lemonis: "Pray for the loss of our dear friend #davidgarvin who founded @CampingWorld in 1966. His leadership will be missed. We will always love you"

Kayaker, 31, falls 30 miles short of crossing Lake Michigan

Suffered from "extreme seasickness," now "home safe and resting"

Fairbanks, Alaska, spends $7,000 fighting $37.50 fine

"Unbelievable that this man who created this monster couldn’t just man up and pay his fine"

Seema Mody named co-anchor of CNBC’s ‘Worldwide Exchange’

Joins Julia Chatterley and Wilfred Frost

Search area for Flight 370 apparently grows

"Might have turned south a little earlier than we had previously expected"

Indictment: Pa. duo got fake $100s from NYC guy named ‘Stackz’

One boasted to state trooper he successfully passed $2,000 in July alone

Man, 24, charged in samurai sword attack on TPing teens

"Another case where a defendant's uncontrolled anger resulted in serious injuries"

Closing of LL Bean call center alarms city officials

"If Internet shopping continues to expand, and there is no reason to think it won't, the entire retail economy will change and it could have a negative impact on our revenue"

Bicyclist, 51, struck in head by lightning, in critical condition

"For those bystanders to get out of their car and help was really something"

Garbage truck strikes, kills worker, 52

Colleagues "pretty shaken up," left scene covered in blood

22,000 no-shows as Steelers scrubs get drilled by Carolina

Columnist: Time for an 18-game season

Court: FedEx drivers are employees, not contractors

"The drivers must wear FedEx uniforms, drive FedEx-approved vehicles, and groom themselves according to FedEx's appearance standards. FedEx tells its drivers what packages to deliver, on what days, and at what times"

Heckler rains on Gasparino report

Tweet: "I saw this story via twitter many hours ago......"
Charlie: "yeah but no one cares about you"
Tweet: "Now I know how you feel"

Sports bar struck by masked arsonist reopening

"There's the new registers, new TVs, new pull tab booth, new flooring, we have a new dance floor. Now, it's a positive. We have changed that negative into a positive"

Vegas airport worker accused of cocaine-smuggling to Alaska

"Used his credentials to bring the drugs into the airport without going through security"

Pair of folks in Daly City fall for $10,000 in phone scams

Callers invoked IRS, "grandson" facing DUI case, demanded they load up prepaid cards

NBC News chief unapologetic over ‘sleep’ quote

"For maybe 15 years ... I think the organization had gone to sleep"

Woman gives birth inside Wal-Mart

"A request for information from the Walmart corporate office was not immediately returned"

BET suspends producer over joke about Beyonce-Jay Z daughter

"I really did wake up like this, because my parents never comb my hair"

Amazon apparently sold less than 35,000 Fire phones

"While the Fire Phone was listed atop Amazon’s Best Seller list for several days in early August, North American usage of the device has grown only incrementally"

Second helping: CNBC renews ‘Restaurant Startup’ for 2nd season

"Improved its year-ago time period average by +37% among P2+, +131% among P18-49"

Neil Young, 68, divorcing wife of 36 years

Met Pegi when she was working as a waitress at a diner near his California ranch

Decapitated cobra bites, kills chef

Restaurant patrons hear screams; after hearing of death, decide not to finish the meal

ALS donations rise from 2-3 a day to 100-300 a day in August

"It's just unbelievable, the amount of awareness raised because of the Ice Bucket Challenge"

Mistakes found in article by CNBC’s Seema Mody

"His title and his employer's investment focus were misstated in an earlier version ..."

Weyerhaeuser moving HQ to Seattle for smaller space

Mayor: "This is a game changer"

Napa paper rises to occasion, makes deadline after quake

"We'll be in business, definitely. You can count on it"

Man, 69, declared dead in 1986 found alive with 2nd family

"We were able to connect the dots"
Difficult: "You really have to go off the map to be declared dead"
Son: "I'm still trying to put all the puzzle pieces together myself. Hopefully one day he can sit down and write a book and remember all the stuff he's been through in his life. It'd be a damn good book I'll tell you that, just from what I've heard"

Expert: Tim Hortons holds the cards in Burger King deal

"Americans are so chauvinistic"
Spun off from Wendy's in 2006: "The shareholders were going crazy, saying, 'Free us, free us. You're not maximizing our returns.' The parting of ways was not because of a problem with Tim Hortons"

Man, 55, jailed; pointed gun at collegiate son’s head to motivate

"If you don’t go back to school I’m going to put a hole through your head"

Employment security office faced with layoffs

"Residual effects from federal sequestration"

Turner Broadcasting plans to shed 550 workers

"The pain will be spread across the board"

Google to teacher: We can’t help with exec’s eviction

Had protested at company's I/O conference in June

Man, 38, gets 20 years for $5 mil. tax refund fraud; 5,000 victims

Paper: "Victims gave Warner their names and Social Security numbers believing they were applying for an 'Obama stimulus payment' or 'Free government money'"

Skateboarder struck by commuter train

Extent of injuries unknown

Road construction sealant sticks to $60,000 dream truck

"It's tar and it's oil and it's stuck on there. It doesn't wipe off, it doesn't brush off, doesn't wash off. I'll see what they can do to fix it, but it better be absolutely back to perfect"
Explained: "I'm not sure if the storm came up quicker than anticipated or what. The old lesson we learn is don't mix oil and water. It didn't mix and it wasn't able to bond"

Vikings coach, 58, says ‘You can’t make the club in the tub’

Cornerback evidently slow to recover from injury

Utah inmates running 5k

Participants involved in jail's substance-abuse program

Woman, 73, guns down burglar

Chased him out of her house, continuing to fire
Cops: "Unbeknownst to the suspect, the victim was home and she was armed"
Thanks: Hands out food in police department parking lot

Squatters exit Airbnb condo; beleaguered owner praises paper

"The press involvement led by (The Chronicle) pushed everything forward so (they left) 4 months earlier than expected, and I’m very grateful. As crazy and stressful as the media attention was, I’m happy the story went viral. I feel again, grateful to (The Chronicle) and media for getting involved, I think the reimbursement from Airbnb happened in parallel with the press coverage"
Aftermath: "It's almost like closure, but I still feel very emotionally and mentally uneasy ... I was pleasantly surprised there was no obvious damage. There was more wear and tear than you'd expect, but no holes in the wall or anything crazy like a hurricane blew through it"

Firefighter critical after students’ ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Truck ladder got too close to power line

378 motorists pay it forward at Starbucks drive-thru

379th customer declined, apparently didn't understand the concept

Chicago Cubs cut ground crew’s hours to avoid Obamacare

"Cheap" ... "Embarrassing, and they got caught"

Female shift leader at Dunkin Donuts, 25, allegedly orchestrated hit

Torched victim's ID, cell phone, car ...

3 thugs rob film crew in West Oakland at gunpoint

Took camera and sound equipment, laptop computers, wallets and cell phones

Woman, 18, impaled by golf club at fraternity cookout

Fellow undergrad swatted football, broke

Illinois gov, 65, phones UNP president to praise Little League coach

"Called boss to make sure his job was safe because he had to take time off from work"
Reax: "He's very proud of his employees and basically said not to worry"

Calls to suicide hotline surge after Robin Williams’ death

"When the subject comes to light, it almost gives people permission to talk"

Australia taxman won’t treat bitcoin transactions as money

"It's the law. We don't make it up, we have to look at the existing law that we have. It just doesn't fit the legal definitions [of money], so we can't pretend that it is something what it's not"
Critic: "It is adding 10% tax on the entire supply of the bitcoin. So if the bitcoin is worth $500 today, you'll be paying 10% tax on that ... I've already heard from a number of our members that they are in the process of — or already have or will be — setting up shop offshore. You could possibly see bitcoin driven underground because of the unfair application of this tax treatment"

CNBC’s Louisa Bojesen refreshingly admits hair flip

"Sorry just fixing my hair"

Evicted tenants: Property manager kept rent payments

"We're talking about real scumbags. I can't even imagine that there is anything legal about this" ... "There are cockroaches, mice, rats. Nothing's been repaired. They’ve even rented out the back egress, preventing us from using the fire escape"

Woman, 33, pries open Wal-Mart doors at 2 a.m.

"Running around the store causing a disturbance, police said they were told"

Apartment resident opens fire on pair of intruders

Managed to get into a car, stopped by cops

Ferguson II: Hundreds combine for rowdy Oakland protest

"They won't even let us walk on the public street. I don't feel safe. It is what it is, and they hate us. When they put on a badge, they're allowed to kill us"

Woman falls on broken pavement, costs city $65,000

Avoids "expense, time and uncertainties of further protracted litigation"

Cops: Man, 18, stole $6,000 bike, listed it on Craigslist for $48,000

Used bolt cutters to swipe from rack

Ex-Obama campaign manager, 47, hired to run Uber’s politics

“Our mission has become a surprisingly controversial topic"

Israeli ship unloaded at Oakland port after making U-turn

Protesters "chose a symbol, perhaps, and they're trying to portray it as hurting the Israeli government, but they're really causing damage to the people who live here, and to me this is exactly the definition of political terrorism"

Thousands sign petition to rename tunnel for Robin Williams

"He was a true humanitarian. In spite of all his suffering, he was able to give us the gift of laughter. Plus, no one has heard of this other guy"

Teen protesting retail site in tree, 19, decides to come down

"We want her to understand that we acknowledge her point of view"

Phil Simms avoiding ‘Redskins’

Troy Aikman: "As long as their nickname is the Redskins, I'll continue to call them the Redskins"
Boomer Esiason: "That's the name of their team and that's what I am going to use"
Jim Nantz: "Not my job to take a stance"

Farmers grumbling about shrinking price of corn

"The attitude out here in the countryside is not great right now"

Gasparino taunts CNBC host over reference in Icahn letter

"hey @ScottWapnerCNBC shld i hold my breath until @CNBC reads the ENTIRE uncle @Carl_C_Icahn letter re $FDO & $DG including the part abt me?"

Died: Sally Hunter-Wiley, 66, ad exec framed rejection letter

"Let's say someone came in and they were preparing three purchases — ABC, CBS and NBC Football. She would say, 'Why would NBC Football be so much more expensive than the other two?' She would talk out loud — one of the things that made her such an effective trainer"
Standards: "There was no sexual harassment when Sally was around"

Man, 63, mistakes insurance adjuster for intruder, fires 2 shots

Will be charged with discharging a weapon in the city limits

China cracking down on ‘unreasonably high’ executive pay

Companies must ensure pay scales are "proper"

Detective, 47, in bar fight apparently talks cops out of arrest

"I expect professional behavior from our officers both on and off duty"

21-year-old drunk tries skateboarding’s slap the rail with car, kills pal

"Unfortunately, in this case, a tragic accident did happen"

Time Inc. rates SI.com writers on ‘beneficial’ copy for advertisers

"Writers who may have high assessments for their writing ability, which is their job, were in fact terminated based on the fact the company believed their stories did not 'produce content that is beneficial to advertiser relationships'"

Man, 28, used fake NYPD badge to get sex from hookers: cops

"You remind me of my sister. I can call off the other officers and give you a break"

WMX sues Oakland, claims rival’s $1 bil. trash contract illegal

"Put the citizens of Oakland at risk by not following the procurement process"

Oakland protesters blocking Israeli cargo ships

Paper: "Port employees were honoring their picket lines"

Man dies in Mexico standoff

Had just stolen a pickup truck in Paris

Former CNBC reporter gets 1st novel published

"He knows how to tell a story — in 2 minutes on TV or spinning it all out in a novel"

Oakland’s Michael Brown protest gets rough

"The majority of protesters were committed to being peaceful. However, there were elements in the crowd intent on committing acts of vandalism and attempting confrontation with officers"
Samaritan: Man, 53, tries to stop spray-painter, is doused with liquid; "Smells like urine ... These people are just local business people. Like over there, Youth Radio? They broke their windows last time. They're a nonprofit. They're not trying to hurt anybody"

Larry Kudlow on Robin Williams: ‘There but for the grace of God go I’

"There is a way out, you're never cured but you get a daily reprieve and you can live a new life and frankly, God will open doors you never dreamed possible. Doors close, but doors open, that's what I learned"

Heckler accuses Gasparino of being Wall Street apologist

Tweet: "Sad that you defend Wall Street no matter what"
Response: "Ur whats called 'three fries short of a happy meal' for that statement"
Enough: "had to block him too bizarre"

New Seattle editorial writer, 40s, admits he hates the Steelers

Politics: "The high-end street gangs masquerading as major American political parties hold no appeal to me. ... I liken their conflicts to the $1 bet Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy make in 'Trading Places'"
Tall: "My exact height is no one's business but my own. I do not and have never aspired to play basketball. And the atmosphere I breathe is just the same as everyone else's. I'll appreciate not having to reiterate any of this"

Pilot, 46, loses artificial arm while landing plane

Opted to "move his right hand from the power levers onto the yoke to regain control"

Hamptonites calling Huma Abedin, 38, for access to Hillary, 66

Hard Choices signing: "People are already calling Hillary’s friends, the event organizers, publishers, even trying to get through to Huma Abedin, to see if they can jump the line"

1956 Notre Dame star bankrolls stadium’s new turf

"I started complaining about it 3 years ago. We have one of the greatest universities in the world and it's in worse condition than my high school field. ... It was really, really needed"

Alleged serial car burglar, 36, nabbed at Fruitvale Station garage

"For some of these people, breaking the law is a way of life. If we can get them off the street, it puts a dent in crime overall"

Off-duty cops can bring guns to Minnesota Vikings games

Argued that NFL policy can't trump state law

Professor’s job offer nixed after tweets criticizing Israel

"You may be too refined to say it, but I'm not: I wish all the (expletive) West Bank settlers would go missing" ... "#Israel kills civilians faster than the speed of 4G"
Critic: "This is highly irregular. It is not the way a great university or any university conducts its hiring practices. You have academic freedom, due process. He could have been a little more careful in the language he used, but he had the right"

Daily News games SEO with ‘Robin Williams dead at 63’

"Starting tomorrow morning, we can scale back on the robot talk (meaning no death header) just as long as the stories continue to *start* with his full name and include buzzy search words like *death, dead, suicide, etc.*"

Chicago Blackhawks won’t play ‘The Stripper’ during fan contest

"You have your 3 contestants. One is a child, one is a guy who looks like he was randomly drawn from the crowd. And they're usually in jerseys and look like fans out of the crowd. Whereas the woman they bring out is always dressed a particular way. There's nothing wrong with women dressing or looking that way but it’s not reflective of their entire crowd. And then when you have the organist playing a song like 'The Stripper' or even 'Pretty Woman' it just reinforces that the kid is there because he's excited, the guy is a random fan and the woman is there for eye candy"

N.Y. Senate hopeful, 24, admits affair of 12 days ago, quits race

"It was an excuse for an escape from an already declining marriage. I cannot regret the decisions I have made, but I can admit to being happier presently than before"

Hopeless: Neel Kashkari, 41, down 20, campaign ‘practically broke’

But: "He's running the best campaign money can't buy"

Hero: Off-duty crisis worker talks man, 29, down from bridge

"She engaged in a conversation with him and she did a great job"

Nebraska desperate for cabbage-pickers, must pay $13.41/hour

$3 less in Colorado: "It feels like we're stuck in the middle of this chess game"

Father, 68, shoots son, 40, in fight over remote control

But it's the younger man who faces charges

Newspaper lede story: S.D. family has motorcyclist death pool

Former staffer: "I am embarrassed to say I spent 19 years there ... What a croc [sic] of s--- and as a friend that had a buddy killed on a motorcycle while at the rally ... You can kiss my ass Rapid City Journal forever more!”

Tests: Humans, not dogs, responsible for park poop problem

"Repairs to fix the discharge from the three homes now are nearly complete"

Inmate thought wrongly paroled actually wrongly re-arrested

Fiancee: "Sometimes I feel like I'm over the moon. Other times I feel like, you know, they've (messed) stuff up before"

Anthony Scaramucci tells young hoopsters about business plans

Helped guide the campers "in the creation of small business models and fundraising plans"

‘Wild West’: U.S. regulators warn consumers about bitcoin

Industry: "Helpful to the extent that it informs consumers without scaring them"

Why, Robin, why ...

2 comedies coming out this holiday season

CNN’s Michelle Kosinski, 37, marries Kimball Rush Duncan, 49

Biff in charge: Thomas F. Wilson is Master of Ceremonies

Barneys agrees to hire ‘anti-profiling consultant’

Door guards "exclusively identified minority customers as warranting surveillance"

Otter that attacked boy, grandmother is dead

AP: "Officials are nearly certain they got the right otter"

Kickstarter, Tumblr back Facebook against search warrants

"Ultimately turned over the information but is appealing the court order"

Nebraska Cornhuskers hire student DJs for football practice

"They have to be comfortable and thick-skinned"

SEC: Kansas misled investors about health of pension system

"Failed to adequately disclose its pension liability in bond offering documents"

Yankees refused to let Kate Upton, 22, wear Tiger gear

"The Yankees told me, 'You're not allowed to wear a Tigers hat. You’re not allowed to wear any Tigers gear'"

Biz school slogan: ‘Go from moment to momentum’

"We wanted to take charge and tell our story"

IRS staffer, 40, collected unemployment while working

Theft of government money; has to repay $20,906

Man stabbed at golf course during fight

"All of the people involved in the fight know each other"

Man reels in 809-pound tiger shark

"After 5 hours of fighting it, I finally saw it for the first time"

Thug forces female Wendy’s worker, 22, to be getaway driver

Punched, took wallet, fled on foot

Died: Menahem Golan, 85, produced ‘Delta Force,’ ‘Bloodsport’

Oscar nominee for "Operation Thunderbolt: Entebbe"
Chuck Norris: "Menahem’s faith in me as an actor was the real reason for the breakthrough of my movie career"
Last days: "He made it to Cannes relying on a wheelchair and a walker but still went out every single night, just to talk about cinema"

Died: Henry Stone, 93, unleashed ‘Shake Your Booty,’ ‘Ring My Bell’

Harry Wayne Casey: "Henry believed in me when no one else did"
Listen on YouTube: George McCrae, "Rock Your Baby"

Judge: Steve Jobs ringleader of Silicon Valley collusion

AP: "Google scrapped plans for an engineering center in Paris staffed by former Apple employees after Jobs strenuously objected. In another instance cited by Koh, Google's then-CEO Eric Schmidt fired a recruiter who had contacted an Apple engineer in 2007. When Schmidt emailed the news that the recruiter had been fired, Jobs forwarded the note to Apple's personnel department with a smiley face above it, Koh noted"

Michael Sam, 24, insists: ‘I can play in this league’

"I make plays. That's what you're supposed to do"
Scout: "I think he's going to struggle against the run. But he does have a little juice off the edge. He's a chase player right now. He's too stiff to play inside. He's got straight-line speed. I don't think he has very good quickness. It's a bit surprising he played left end because he's not that strong. He does fly around a little bit. He's a good hustle player. I just wonder if that's enough. He's a stiff dude"
Beat writer: "After a few weeks in training camp, the reps for Sam had begun to dwindle — and quite frankly, so had his play over the last week of practice" ... "Small crowd in the Dome"

Ex-Microsoft senior manager, 32, gets 2 years for insider trading

"I cheated. I tried to take a shortcut for my own financial gain…. I persuaded myself it was a gray area, when it clearly was black and white"
Tips: Advance knowledge of Investment in BKS, pair of quarterly earnings reports

Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle, 25, shot in tavern after game

Grazed in calf, treated and released

Woman, 28, bashes Lincoln Towncar windows with The Club

Identified by male car owner; $5,000 bond

Worker, 55, crushed to death between buses in Oakland

How he got between the vehicles remains a mystery

Man killed, 3 hurt when brick pizza oven plows into car

Had been waiting to turn when trailer broke loose

U. of Minnesota asks Redskins to wear throwbacks vs. Vikings

"Wants the Vikings to not sell Washington apparel or paraphernalia at the stadium, that the team’s name not be mentioned by the public address announcer, that the team’s name not appear on the scoreboard at the stadium, and that the team’s name be omitted from the program and other materials relating to the game"

Bloomberg lays off 25, cancels Al Hunt, 71, show

"We are changing how, and where, the TV operation is run"

Lawsuit: Yelp deceived shareholders about review quality, practices

Some reviews allegedly "not all authentic 'firsthand' reviews, but instead included fraudulent reviews by reviewers who did not have first-hand experience with the business being reviewed ... algorithms purportedly designed to screen unreliable reviews [that] did not comprehensively do so"

Baltimore fans give Ray Rice, 27, standing ovation

"For me personally, it felt good to get out there and show that I still have a burst"

Woman, 25, chases down thug who stole $200 Marc Jacobs wallet

Used banking app on her smartphone to spot where purchases had been made

Waste Management challenging Oakland trash decision

"The council bent and broke the rules to get the kind of outcome they wanted to have"

Households exchange gunfire across street in afternoon

"Investigators think 3 other shooters were involved, and the case 'is still very active'"

Heckler interrupts senator’s victory lap over Walgreens

"Are you going to help the black community? You ain't been helping us. You know who I am, Mr. Durbin. You ain't never helped the black community ... You going to send 18,000 people to jail this year in the black community. See what you said about them illegals that coming in here"
Walgreen CEO: Inversion risked "dual taxation, back taxes with interest"

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: World needs 3 good wireless carriers

"To me it feels like a duopoly. I need service. Right. And if you combine No. 3 and No. 4, and got better infrastructure and better service, did (sic) you actually have 3 real competitors, rather than 2 at the low end and 2 at the high end"

0.115%: Text from passenger sinks intoxicated boat captain, 67

"Somebody on board the boat texted a friend that the boat captain appeared intoxicated and that friend contacted the Coast Guard and that’s what initiated the Coast Guard to do a stop of the whale-watching boat"

Dinged-up Steelers rookie ‘can’t make the club from the tub’

"It's unfortunate for him. Hopefully, he gets back soon"

Man, 21, steals ‘For sale’ sign, attempts to rent out home

Victim responded to Craigslist ad, was prepared to pay $1,500 deposit in cash

Woman stands on tracks to take pictures, is struck by train

Sustained leg injury

Millions pay AOL $20.86 a month for unused Web access: writer

"I'd like to say I can't believe this is real"

Popular TV anchor, 31, quits, accused of luxury shoplifting scheme

"Court records outline a number of other shoplifting trips to area outlet stores, including one in which Rodriguez was detained in the back of a police car, but eventually let go"

Restaurant caught hiding health alert behind potted plants

"That’s a very egregious violation"

No shortage of intriguing material for CNBC’s ‘American Greed’

"I am a good person, and although I've committed crimes I'm not a criminal"

Gasparino claims early scoop on Murdoch’s decision

"if u watched @FoxBusiness u wld have been well prepared for $FOX announcement re $twx; recall what i reported before my sun valley boot"

340 cars in UCLA parking lot presumed total losses

"It feels like Costa Rica"

Adult-movie industry fleeing Los Angeles

"We're not doing any production locally. This month we're shooting 10 movies in Brazil. Last month, we shot 5 movies in Europe. It's just too complex to shoot here"

$2,394: Most expensive U.S. town for renters is in N. Dakota

Woman, 76, can't make $1,550 payment: "I told the (landlord) you can just take me out to a Dumpster and make my home there ... We don’t all make oil money ... I paid into Social Security and retirement to enjoy life and this is what I get?"

Uber driver, 56, has seizure, hits pedestrian, 3 parked cars

"Pending a medical review, he has been removed from the Uber platform"

Trifecta: Woman, 53, accuses MSFT of gender/race/age discrimination

Lawsuit: Environment dominated by males, "substantial percentage of whom were foreign born and of East Indian heritage"
Claims ordered to recite: "You are my manager, I will do as you say"

Tire company fined $182,000; woman paid $35,000 less than man

EEOC alleged salary was $19,000 less than the minimum company policy for position

Zuck, 30, passes: Fashion site backed by Winklevi, 32, shuts down

"Thank you for the opportunity to innovate and grow ... Now it’s time for a nap"

1-eyed man, 29, arrested in double murder at 7-Eleven

"Every gang officer was looking for this guy. It was just a matter of time"

Woman, 59, killed by family dog in back yard

Husband, child home; witness calls 911

Man, 30s, trapped in brush-clearing machine drowns

Skid steer front-loader slid into river

Gasparino: Summers, 59, tells Yellen, 67, to stop stock-picking

Big words: Charlie puts "impresario" in 2nd graf
Anthony Scaramucci moderates discussion, calls Harvard Law "communist institution"

California No. 1 for Scott Cohn

CNBC original, state ranker exiting Englewood Cliffs, will remain contributor for channel

Toledo water undrinkable; residents claim price-gouging

"Photographer spent $13 for a 40 pack of water that still had a sticker on the side saying 40 bottles for under 10 cents"
Sightings: Pair of 24 packs for $71 ... $14 a case ... Speedway asking over $30
Mayor: "I don't believe we'll ever be back to normal. But this is not going to be our new normal. We're going to fix this. Our city is not going to be abandoned"
Water workers exhausted: "It's an 'all-hands-on-deck' mentality here today"

Film critic slugged at screening

"10 or 15 minutes after the movie started, she turned her head and started staring at me. I glanced over — she kept staring ... a few minutes later, I realized she was still staring at me. She said, a little angrily, something like, 'What are you even doing here, anyway?' and punched me in the face"
Cops arrive: "She just did a ‘death drop to the floor. They let the film run. There was a major dramatic moment with a cop in front of the screen"

Neel Kashkari, 41, pretends to be homeless, gets $27K from Hank

"If he took a dump in the middle of Market Street, he’d get attention too"

Ex-Missouri teammate: Michael Sam, 24, on ego trip

"He is a nice guy, but I will say the truth: A little bit of him has changed ... he is not the same Michael Sam anymore. Just the way he acts and carries himself. I was watching the NFL Network the other day and I think it was Marshall Faulk who said that he keeps referring to himself in the third person as Michael Sam this, Michael Sam that. That's not the same guy we knew back when we were living together. He is not the same fun-loving, joking guy that really didn't care about stuff like publicity"

Gasparino congratulates Sandy Cannold, vows competition

"good luck @SandyCannold you're one of the best i've worked for even if im gonna try and crush u at every turn :) @RebeccaJarvis @CNBC"

Demoted worker, 60, shoots CEO, 54, then himself in Chicago Loop

"They had been friends for years — a congenial relationship between two friends"

Man, 68, doesn’t know why he put needles in grocery meat

"Every now and then I would stick one in a hamburger ... mostly hamburger, a couple times I did it with a roast, maybe a pork chop every now and then ... had no reason for doing it ... just for the hell of it ... it was just stupidity, I didn't want to hurt nobody"

Bass gives away phony cop driving Crown Victoria

"The music was so loud they could actually feel the bass emitting from the car"

Steelers retiring 75

"It is so special … I was so proud to be a Steeler and continue to be a Steeler"
Dan Rooney: "We decided now was the time. Joe is the obvious person from the '70s team to go first. We're excited to honor him and his many contributions to the Steelers"
Curious: No reaction from teammates in Pittsburgh articles, Twitter

Seattle rail rider scolds armed thugs for interrupting call

Pair had already robbed woman and girl, fired 2 shots, then drove away

Walgreens installs timed pharmacy safes to thwart junkie robbers

"Eliminates the immediate access to those drugs. Really, it's a tipping of risk versus reward. The robbers know the longer they're in a location, the higher the chance they'll be caught, or the more likely it is that our security cameras will pick them up"

Ron Paul says stock market in a ‘bubble’

"The conditions are every bit as bad as they were in '08 and '09"

Home hit 2nd time in week; this time intruders gunned down

"Individual associated with one of the residents" sent thugs to hospital

Plane crashes at Target, female passenger, 80, dies

"I knew they didn't have enough power to do the things they needed to do. I knew it was going down"

Shoppers love Trader Joe’s, except for the parking

"It's just poor planning"

NYT writer accused of lifting passage from Wikipedia

"It seems to me that there can be little dispute about the claim, which was initially reported by MediaBistro's FishbowlNY. Anyone can see the similarity. The question now is whether this is an isolated case or one of many instances. The Times is taking that question seriously"

Chicago Tribune removes ‘many sales boxes from streets’

Weekday circulation down 21.5% from September 2007

Pauley Pavilion underwater: Pipe bursts, floods UCLA

Crews slowed by rush-hour traffic on Sunset Blvd., took 3 hours to shut off valve
Advice: "That is probably one of the most dangerous things you can do. For somebody to try and boogie board in this, it's just going to be an asphalt bath"

Newspaper chain claims successful new business model

401(k) match reinstated; "The worst of the recession is behind us"

Financial columnist thinks Trish Regan works for CNBC

Question: "I read 'Do Economic Fundamentals Support This Market?' by CNBC journalist Trish Regan, which was published in USA TODAY. She took a highly negative view of the U.S. stock market, and seems to think it's a bubble that's about to break. Your thoughts?"
Answer: "I can tell you that Regan is wrong, and her analysis is shoddy"

Oakland Raiders have ‘serious’ meeting with San Antonio

Don't want "Jerry Jones-type facility," but "a small, intimate" stadium in which owner Mark Davis can place "a statue of his father in front of"

Jesse Ventura, 63, wins $1.8 mil. suit over book’s slugfest account

Author identified famed SEAL/governor on speaking tour, not in book: "For me, the obvious thing is the exploitation of his name as part of a marketing strategy. I think that's really significant here. I think there is a lesson, and it's you better keep your stories straight"

N.Y. Post: Mogul’s bid for Buffalo Bills tops $1 billion

Trump, 68, trying: "I put in a bid in which the team would absolutely be kept in Buffalo"

Report: Time Warner buyouts to bring execs $80 mil. parachutes

Bewkes, 62, could possibly get more

Man, 48, allegedly killed car dealer in tavern lot over bad sale

Police say 34-year-old victim tried to recoup $400; seller didn't actually own vehicle

Residents get scam calls from their own phone numbers

Computerized message wants you to divulge your credit card number

Cops alarmed by near-miss write $10,000 in tickets in 2 hours

"They set up a detail with five troopers, and they just focused on speeding vehicles and distracted drivers in the construction zone"

Man, 51, defecates on foot path, is arrested

Had been found intoxicated 2 hours earlier

Bills fans don’t trust Jon Bon Jovi, 52

"He's aligned with guys from Toronto. They've got more money than everybody else. We don't believe they will keep the Bills in Buffalo. Why would they?"

Woman withdraws $5,000 from ATM to buy fake gold bar

Greeted by con artists outside Kmart: "They’re preying on elderly Hispanic victims that may be new to the country or have limited English"

Venice Beach lightning victim, 20, was just accepted at USC

"You hear this all the time but parents, hug your kids tonight. Cherish every moment, even if they’re bugging you. Cherish every moment you have with them"

Ken Griffin, 45, and wife may fight for pals in divorce

"Friends second-guess you or they take sides. And often that means they go with the bigger asset"

House pranksters banned from Wikipedia for 10 days

Like blocking the congressional IP address is really going to stop them

Delta pilot in radio fight with air traffic controller over taxiway

"I don't have an attitude, I'm just saying it looks like you joined Lima instead of Mike, and I'm just trying to correct you before you stay in Lima"

Legislator, 67, didn’t know what his illness was, suddenly dies

"There’s some uncertainty about what this is, and I wondered about whether I can do the job"

Whole Foods guard stabbed

"Officers captured the suspect and recovered a knife"

Drunkard, 42, carrying toy gun is arrested

Ex-wife was overseas; closest relative was in California

CNBC guest predicts Pandora will be penny stock in ‘couple years’

David Meyers: "The definition of a penny stock is actually, you know, anything trading under $2 or so ... good chance in the next couple years that it'll probably be a penny stock"

Boeing chief Jim McNerney, 64, apologizes for ‘cowering’ quip

To everyone, not just those offended: "I was simply trying to make light of my age and tenure at the company on a question that I have been asked at least a dozen times over the past several weeks alone ... There was no intent to slight anyone but myself ... I should have used different words, and I apologize for them. I will definitely be more careful going forward"

Swimmer, 20, killed by rare lightning bolt in Venice Beach

"He was pretty much just dead weight being carried out of the water"

Airbnb squatter ‘would squat again’

Raised money on Kickstarter for video game that didn't happen: "Never in my life have I felt so betrayed and ashamed of having given money to someone"

Plagiarism sinks Buzzfeed editor

"We should have caught what are now obvious differences in tone and style, and caught this very early on. We will be more vigilant in the future. We will also change our onboarding procedures to make sure that the high standards of training that come with our fellowship program extend to everyone who arrives at BuzzFeed — and particularly to those without a background in traditional journalism"

Recipes from the movie ‘Chef’

"6 ounces thinly sliced boiled ham ... Softened butter, for brushing ... Six 6-inch-long soft baguettes or heros, split lengthwise ... Yellow mustard, for brushing ... ¾ pound thinly sliced Mojo-Marinated Pork Shoulder ..."

Died: Alan ‘Ace’ Greenberg, 86, Wall St. giant, non-Ivy Leaguer

Obituary: Hired PSDs who were "poor, smart and a deep desire to become rich"
CNBCfix review: Blamed "groundless rumor" aired on CNBC March 11, 2008, for demise

Barack Obama, 52, doesn’t know what top tax bracket should be

CNBC's Steve Liesman: "Is there a limit to how much you believe the government should take from an individual in terms of a top tax rate?"
President Barack Obama: "You know, I don't have a particular number in mind…"

$33.3 billion: Zuck, 30, surges past Google guys on billionaires list

"He's going to become the richest person on the planet"

Uber, Lyft get OK to continue in Pittsburgh, with conditions

"You never get that second chance to make a first impression"
Commission chairman unaware of taxi unpopularity: "If we had a bigger docket of formal complaints, our enforcement guys would have been out en masse"

Psycho: Man, 33, killed mom, 67, lived with corpse 6 months

"Don't be stupid. I killed her."

Analyst tells CNBC: Apple possibly ‘obsolete’ in 2-3 years

"I don't know where they are going to be in three years"

.22%: Drunkard, 48, run over by own truck during road rage

Paper: "Carl told the officer that he does not drink and drive. When asked about the beer cans in his truck, he said he was only drinking while he drove home"

USC on edge after street murder of grad student, 24

"It's shocking, but at the same time you're almost desensitized because you're like, 'Are you kidding me? It happened again?'"

Pickup truck slams into Dairy Queen

"Nobody saw it coming"

Ken Griffin, 45, in divorce surprise; could get contentious

Lawyer's statement for wife Anne Dias Griffin: "Ken Griffin unilaterally filed a divorce petition today with no notice to either me or my client, knowing full well that she had just left for summer vacation with their 3 young children and would therefore be unable to respond. Anne's highest priority remains her family, especially the well-being of her children. She is hopeful that this personal matter can be resolved privately and in the best interests of her children. We have no further comment at this time"

Senator, 53, blames master’s plagiarism on PTSD

"If this were it, in isolation, I don't think it would be a big deal. But now we've got two issues of honor and competency"

Decaying Oakland body clears out 15 from coroner’s office

Funeral home's application of Smelleze Eco Corpse Deodorizer apparently OK
"I've never seen anything quite like this. In my 26 years, I have to say this is a first"

Hillary, 66, praises ‘Too Small To Fail’ in Oakland

"I could not be more enthusiastic about what's happening here in Oakland"

Combative woman, 35, refuses to leave plane with Fargo cops

"Alcohol appears to be a factor"

Anthony Scaramucci expected to join Fox Business as contributor

"Wall $treet Week" owner apparently severing ties with CNBC, broadcast partner of SALT

Man, 26, digs 10-foot hole at California beach, dies in sand

Fire captain: "I haven't ever seen anything quite like this. None of the firefighters at the scene had seen anything like it either. These types of calls are very hard to anticipate"
Help: 30 bystanders frantically dig, expose head, but too late

Democratic insiders question Obama’s fundraising amid crises

"It defies every principle. Official activities should always drive the schedule"
Costco: Jim Sinegal hosting fundraiser at home

Thugs mistake auto shop for jeweler, tie up mechanics

Unlucky: Employee carrying $2,000 in cash, forced to give it up

Colorado cop pulls over Uber vehicle, claims illegal in state

Asks passenger for driver's license

Duran Duran suing fan club for lack of payment

Band was supposed to get 75% of profits, according to lawsuit

Hackers got into more than 1,000 StubHub accounts

Manhattan D.A.: Got account-holders' login and password information from data breaches at other websites and retailers or from key-loggers or other malware on the customers' computers


Kate Kelly: "Ppl pouring out of of this Ackman presentation on $HLF even though it's not yet finished"
Kelly II: "Impatient audience member gives Ackman $HLF presentation a testier tone"
Kelly III: "Ackman tears up talking about his own immigrant family and spirit of entrepreneurship, saying that $HLF is criminal fraud"
Scott Wapner: "The market's saying, 'That's all you got?!'"
Off to the races: "During and after Ackman's presentation, shares spiked by 19 percent, putting them on track to have their best day in 6 years"
Drama: "Most important presentation that I have made in my career"
Gasparino: "SHOCKING: $hlf up on the most important presentation in ackmans life"
Gasparino II: "were a nation of immigrants i get that u gotta see the rat hole mine came from but why use that as a crutch for an invest thesis?"
Aaron Elstein, Crain's: "Time to ring the gong on this show"

Facebook question for Hillary, 66: ‘How big are the hooters?’

Another: "Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?"
CNBCfix comment: Could've handled it like Charlie does; "u know if I respond to u three ppl might care what u think after your dog and your mom"

Lawyer-turned-doughnut maker unable to satisfy demand

"It was awesome, but it was also very stressful because at the time we couldn't make enough for everyone, people were waiting in line that couldn't even get doughnuts, which was awful for me"
Advice: "Start at a farmer's market. Start with low overhead, test your audience, test your recipes, get tons of feedback before you open a shop. I think that really helped me"

Chicago Fed believes Gary capable of a comeback

"It has gotten so bad in Gary that leaders have come to define success as halting decline, the study's authors noted. But the city has crucial assets, including commuter rail to downtown Chicago, a lakefront and an international airport that could handle more commercial freight. ... 'There is almost no way not to make it better'"

Spinoff expert: Tribune Publishing might be worth $1.1 bil.

"Either they're discounting the value of the publishing side or they're underestimating what's left over with the parent. The spinoff should make it easier for the market to appreciate what the assets are worth"

No refunds for runners in canceled 5K Foam Fest

"There's a lot of angry people out there"

Swimwear designer, 19, debuts in Miami Beach

"I don't know how to sew, but my mom does and after her first attempt didn't work out, we began our trial and error process of finding the people to help make the right bikini. I'm always watching the girls on the beach. I wanted to make suits for every girl"

Newspaper reporter fired for criticizing car dealer’s ad

"Should I have posted what I did? Probably not. Did I deserve to lose my job over it? I personally don't think so. And, I should also point out, I was never told of the paper having any kind of social media policy. ... I was an excellent employee of that paper for 25 years, too, with numerous awards to my credit ... I don't know how I'm going pay my rent next month"

Seattle journalist calls Facebook ‘time-wasting farce’

"Why? Facebook no longer delivers on its core value proposition: to let me quickly and easily see status updates from my friends"

Garbage truck slams into power pole

Distracted driver was reaching for a clipboard

Died: Skye McCole Bartusiak, 21, acted in Mel Gibson’s ‘The Patriot’

Cast included Heath Ledger, who died in 2008

Post-Gazette pipe leak swamps photos of Terry Bradshaw, 65

"We tried opening a folder labeled 'Bradshaw, Terry.' Images documenting the very public life of the former Steelers quarterback had fused into what can only be described as a photo brick. Bradshaw, it seemed, would be forever stuck to all three of his wives"

Jon Bon Jovi, 52, seriously interested in buying Buffalo Bills

Morgan Stanley informs prospective buyers team made nearly $30 million last season
Jerry Jones: "You talk about individuals and talk about their qualification — there hasn't been anybody more qualified to be involved in sports ownership, or certainly ownership in the NFL, than Jon Bon Jovi"

Mortimer Zuckerman, 77, lays off 17 at Daily News

Managing editor told to cut vacation short, return and hand out pink slips

Taco Bell tests menu in ‘officially average’ Omaha

"We have a lot of college students and big companies — it's a natural fit"

Town marshal, 59, allegedly swiped lingerie of son’s girlfriend

"A probable cause affidavit states the woman and Hathaway's son set up a hidden video camera that showed Hathaway entering their room and sniffing one panty and stealing another. She also says she found another of her panties in Hathaway's safe"

Pair of drunk drivers collide in car-motorcycle crash

7th arrest: "There are only 2 things that are going to stop that: voluntary compliance, or being unable to access a vehicle or alcohol, which basically means jail"

On the clock: NFL Draft 2015 out of NYC, will pick Chicago or L.A.

Goodell: "We had 12 cities that were interested ... Because we don’t have the appropriate dates in May our focus is completely on Los Angeles and Chicago. They both have tremendous bids"
Might go 4 days: "We're talking about different concepts, primarily how to strengthen the last day and whether we should maybe push that back to the clubs a little bit more and allow the clubs to have a little bit more freedom as more of a club day. Maybe they would announce the picks from there. We're looking at everything under the sun"

Chamber of Commerce’s new Omaha slogan: ‘We don’t coast’

"Celebrates who we are, where we are, and how we operate — unapologetic, confident and a little edgy. It's time to tell the world and we're just getting started"

MSNBC’s jet coverage pranked by fan of Howard Stern, 60

"We thought we had an eyewitness on the scene. That individual was not actually an eyewitness"

CNN reporter calls Israelis who cheered strikes ‘scum’

"Israelis on the hill above Sderot as bombs land on Gaza; threatened to 'destroy our car if I said wrong word'. Scum"

U.S. checking account balances at 25-year high

$4,436 is more than double average of $2,100, far north of 2007's $788

Fargo spared from Microsoft’s ax

"We're appreciative that those layoffs aren't expected to take place in North Dakota"

Elaine Stritch, 89, dies; article has quote dis of Charlie Rose, 72

"The characters explore ME; I don't explore THEM. And frankly, I'm not one of those Charlie Rose kind of actors who talks about 'the process.' I was raised by Noel Coward, whose simple, classic advice was to learn your lines and avoid bumping into the furniture"

‘Big Bang Theory’ stars demanding $1 million per episode

"Under their previous contract, Galecki, Parsons and Cuoco earned around $350,000 an episode in Season 7, with each owning 0.25 point of the series’ lucrative backend"

Pandora (not that one) HQ move to Baltimore appeases hip staff

"Workers — who tend to be younger than the U.S. workforce average of 42 — were looking for the appeal of an urban setting in a glass-enclosed space designed to foster the kind of creativity that faltered in the old Columbia office park ... 'I remember when I went to our last location to interview 6½ years ago. I pulled up and had to double-check the address to make sure I was at the right place. Having a headquarters like we're going to have at 250 W. Pratt provides a level of legitimacy that, frankly, we didn't have before'"

Witnesses: Jesse Ventura, 63, did indeed get slugged at tavern

"Heard Ventura going on a tirade against the war in Iraq ..."

Anthony Scaramucci spends afternoon on Fox Business

At the end of the day, still listed on contributor page at CNBC.com

Arsonist tries to torch Marcus Lemonis’ Jacksonville building

"It's a little bizarre. I don't think anyone's targeting me. I've got other businesses and no one's trying to light them on fire. I'm hoping it's just kids pranking. I worry about it, though"

Icahn, 78, and Ackman, 48: Friends again

"It is not about winning. I would love to get Carl out of Herbalife"
"At the risk of sounding immodest, there is no one better at finance than us"

SUNY-Buffalo paid Hillary, 66, $275,000 for speech

"The university had to provide 20 priority seats for her guests and staff, a $1,000 fee for a stenographer to provide a transcript that only Clinton would get, approval of the moderator, a limit of 50 photos totaling 100 people with VIP guests and limited advance advertising. No TV, radio or billboards were allowed"

Drunkard, 53, directed women to patdowns at S.F. airport

"Someone has to pay for this"

S.F. supervisor, 50, admits affair with top aide

"I let a lot of people down, and I'm really sorry"

Cop moves out gator that blocked McD’s drive-thru for 30 minutes

"Everyone went home safe and we didn't have to destroy the animal. I'm sure there are some skeptics out there who say we shouldn't have done it, but we had to solve the problem. At the end of the day, who's going to help us?"

Days later, Gasparino needed a break from Idaho fiasco

"I actually wanted to take off today after all that sun valley nonsense"

Polar vortex jeopardizes Minnesota grape harvest

"All of the vineyards north of the metro are either showing a 100% loss or near 100% losses for all of their grapevines"

Weeks passed after Bewkes, 62, heard Fox’s proposal over lunch

"We're in an arms race"

Report: Big Microsoft layoffs coming Thursday

"The New York Times reported this afternoon that the layoffs are now scheduled to be announced Thursday and some conference rooms have been reserved"

Hillary, 66, to Stewart, 51: ‘Dead broke’ was ‘inartful’

Claims "I'm not really paying a lot of attention" to 2016 speculation

Comcast apologizes for ‘embarrassing’ customer service call

"Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone"

Mich. writer scooped by Internet on Perrigo’s slide

"Analyst David Steinberg mentioned a few hurdles a buyer would face. The mention came in a note to investors early Tuesday, according to TheStreet.com and other online business publications"

Oakland cops admit error in favorable conclusion of mayor’s crash

Investigators unable to determine "whether or not cell phones were in use at the time of collision"
Mayor: "As the investigation found, and as substantiated by my cell phone records, I was not using my cell phone while driving, and it was not a factor in the traffic accident"
Lawyer for motorist: "By getting (Quan) the report before they got it to me, before they even released it to the public ... clearly they are playing favorites. They should be playing a lot more neutral than this"

Lawsuit: Car dealer docked workers’ pay to absorb losses

Allegedly policy for at least 20 years: "As with most for-profit businesses, defendants experience business losses. Unlike most for-profit enterprises, however, defendants do not bear such losses as ordinary costs of doing business"

Ben Affleck, 41, & Jennifer, 42, have ‘a blast’ crashing kids’ party

“I spoke with Ben for 10 or 15 minutes and he was very pleased with the facility. He was very interested in getting a Detroit Kid City out in L.A. He said they had a blast and will definitely be in contact with us"

Footnote plaques added to portraits of convicts in Capitol

"There’s two schools of thought: Do you just take them down, or do you do something?"

Book: Bill Clinton told dubious Jewish joke to Jewish Republicans

“Hey! Look at the new Catholic here"

Gasparino’s ‘rent-a-cop’ once made heroic bank bust

Tells Imus about trip: "This is Fox country ... they ask about you, they ask about Cavuto ... It's not something I wanted to do; it was something that I was asked to do ... took me 2 days to get there ... transfer from a fleabag hotel to, uh, less of a fleabag hotel ... I'm told by one of my producers- I'm there with Charlie Gould and Elka Worner, whose uh, you know, one of the producers- 2 of the producers here at Fox, that we should go to this party because it's open to the press ... I didn't get a lot of sleep, I'd like to go home and relax ... So I walk in, duh duh duh duh duh, hands in my pockets ... not bothering anybody ... out of nowhere, the goon squad descends upon us ... Brian Coughlan, he's a New York City cop ... Now Charlie Gould is not exactly the biggest guy in the world if you ever see him; you know, he gets manhandled ... if you put your f-ing hands on me, there's gonna be a problem, and I will walk out of this party. I will not be thrown out. This lasted about 4 minutes ... The next morning we get up to do our thing ... actually had a good sleep, the air-conditioner, condition (sic) worked. ... When he started pointing his finger in her face, I lost it"
Imus: "Did he put his hands on you?"
Charlie: No, but it got close, because what I said to him, you know, you know- I caught him, I caught him being, being a bully to a woman. And when I caught him, he lost it"
Imus: "What was he saying to her?"
Charlie: "Between the curses and the finger-pointing, something along the lines that she should've known that the event we went to was, was, was off-limits to the press. Now here's the backdrop to that, that event, every year, was on-limits to the press. We didn't know"
Not drinking: "Anybody that knows me, if I'm tipsy, I'm actually nice"
Suggests rationale: "He may have gotten amped up by then, he may have had no sleep ... this guy Coughlan accused Elka of havin' a few. Elka doesn't drink"
Suggests conspiracy: "I know a lot of cops. And this guy and I probably have 5 or 6 at least mutual acquaintances, maybe mutual friends ... often these Wall Street guys will sit there and tell them, when we give you the signal, we want you to, like, grab that guy and throw him out"
Smokescreen: "What I wanna know, if Mr. Coughlan stubs his toe, you know people, as he's throwing Charlie Gould out of that party, and needs to take off 3 days from the New York City Police Department, do we have to pay for his sick leave?"
Imus: "Well he wasn't in Sun Valley Idaho working for the New York City Police Department, was he?"
Charlie: "No no. But he's on the job. Remember he's still working here"
Flop: Imus not interested in hearing Zuckerberg/Christie story
Says 3 times he loves/likes NYPD cops: "I love New York City cops ... I've been sticking up for cops forever, particularly in this onslaught from Bill de Blasio. So I'm not a cop-hater. ... I love the cops. I have friends, I defend 'em ... I like cops. I'm a big supporter of the New York City Police Department ..."
Gasparino's "rent-a-cop" antagonist is bomb-squad sergeant, elite musician, father of 4, heroically busted bank-robbery thugs: "Since I was old enough to remember, the only job I've ever wanted was to be a member of the NYPD ... My most memorable moment was the day 2 colleagues and I interrupted an armed bank robbery, on 3rd Avenue in Manhattan. We chased two heavily armed gunmen and apprehended them in a taxicab along 2nd Avenue"

Tesla settles lemon lawsuit, agrees to pay doctor $127,000

Lawyer collects $18,500 fee: "My client got everything he asked for. Everything he paid in. This is all he ever wanted since he sent out his own demand notice last November"

University doctor: Cure rate for Dimon, 58, cancer at 75-90%

"We have seen a rapid rise in the rate of HPV-associated tumors. In some areas of the United States they are now more common than smoking-related tumors" ... "Dimon smoked when he was younger but has stated that he quit more than 30 years ago in the 1980s, 'which is a good sign' ... Based on available information, 'Dimon’s prognosis is likely quite favorable' ... Head and neck tumors are highly curable with modern chemoradiation treatment approaches at experienced centers. In our experience, cure rates are in the 90% range for HPV-positive head and neck cancers and 75 to 80% for most HPV-negative head and neck cancers"

Boy gets selfie with Buffett, 83, McCartney, 72, at ice cream shop

Customer: "On the way out, I made eye contact and initiated conversation with him. I reminded him that the first half of the concert in Brazil was all Wings songs, and everyone sat politely. The second half was all Beatles tunes, and everyone in the crowd was singing along, every word. It was a spectacular concert"

Scalper competition, rain sink Home Run Derby ticket market

"It's like a cut throat business, wild, wild West. Indiana, people from Milwaukee, a lot of Chicago. I mean I'm seeing guys, whoa, where did you come from? Everyone caught on to it that the rain is out, so let's use the rain for advantage to get cheaper tickets, and it's working"

Rick Santelli: In America, ‘We don’t believe in consensus’

Transcript: "I don't care about general consensus. I don't care that Europe offers entitlement. We're America! We don't believe in consensus. We set the consensus"
Steve Liesman: "It's impossible, Rick, it's impossible for you to have been more wrong, Rick. Your call for inflation, the destruction of the dollar, the failure of the U.S. economy to rebound ..."

NFL sees nothing wrong with conduct of rich Browns owner, 60

Company cheated customers, forced to pay $92 million fine, 10 convicted: "The Pilot Flying J investigation hasn't brought to light anything the NFL thinks is a violation of its personal conduct policy, according to a report"

Facebook will ship users’ TV info to Nielsen

"Consumers really are not aware of the extent to which Facebook is putting their non-Facebook activity to use. Watching television and surfing the Internet shouldn't necessarily involve Facebook"

Marcus Lemonis says Chicago’s 2 Crumbs stores won’t close

"They are going to stay open for sure — just because they’re by my house"

Female town manager, 38, dies in ATV crash

Emergency meeting held to discuss how to proceed until successor hired

Man, 27, tries to hang himself on U.S. side of border fence

Paper: "An agent revived him when he was unresponsive"

E. coli investigation includes Applebee’s locations

"Voluntarily temporarily removed its Oriental chicken salad from menus" in Minnesota

Gasparino vows to explain Sun Valley embarrassment

"i will expose the @Gawker and @samfbiddle war on women who get attacked by fat abusive cops tomorrow (Tuesday) on @TheImusShow 830am edt @FoxBusiness"

Son of Dead Sea Scrolls expert guilty of ID theft, forgery

"In one instance, he impersonated a New York University professor and sent emails to students and deans at the school indicating that the professor had plagiarized the work of his father, the court documents said"

Caller demands $1 million from city council; meeting cleared

"We had a full house because we were honoring Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, so Council President David Miller did not say it was being cancelled because of a bomb. He just asked everyone to vacate the building"

Fake samaritan woman, 30, steals from crash victim, 89

"Heartless criminal ... was actually searching the victim's purse, stealing her credit cards, identification card and Social Security card"

Tim Tebow buys home in Jacksonville

$1.4 million in Glen Kernan Golf and Country Club neighborhood

Expect more great white shark sightings off Maine coast

Spotless record: "Since the 1600s, there has never been an unprovoked recorded shark attack in the state of Maine either close to shore or miles out to sea"

Gawker: Gasparino ‘instigator’ of Sun Valley embarrassment

"Attempted to barge into a private event at Duchin, a bar within the Sun Valley Lodge … confronted the head of security, screaming: 'How dare you put your hands on my producer?' … given a trespass citation and kicked off the entire property for trying to cause a scene …"
Scoffs: "question: if youre (sic) a producer 5'2'' 100lbs getting verbally abused by a 6'3" 300lb rent-a-cop u want me backing u up or the ppl at gawker?"

Bicyclist rides 2 miles on shoulder of expressway during rush hour

"Numerous drivers called in before troopers tracked him down and led him off"

Inmate wrongly released beats meth but is re-jailed

"It is so hard to deal with. They gave him his freedom, and they took it right back"

North Dakota yet to turn the corner on bullying

"There’s no way adults can be at every corner of every building. The electronic bullying creates the greatest challenges for teens and even in the elementary level"

Marcus Lemonis buying Crumbs

"We know that in order for this business model to succeed it must have a diverse offering. Our hope is to create America's sweet and snack shop"

Died: John Seigenthaler, 86, prominent critic of Wikipedia

"Protest led volunteer-driven online encyclopedia to adopt verification standards"

Feds: Man posed as airline employee to score cheap airfare

AP: "Ordered to stay in the Los Angeles area if he posts bail and told not to book air travel"

Gasparino muscled out of Sun Valley gala by security guard

"He was later spotted doing a standup on the road leading to neighboring Ketchum"
Charlie: "Irony of #fbnsunvalley: media conf closed to the media guarded by bullying and fat ex cops like the guy I told to stop bullying my producer"

Blogger: Diana Olick article was ‘classic bait-and-switch’

"The headline reads: Higher mortgage rates not deterring buyers. Yet the lead follows with, first, a suspicious truism and then even greater conjecture ..."
But: "CNBC deserves some credit for attempting to jazz up an otherwise uninteresting report. It certainly got plenty of readers discussing the issue, but not in a favorable way"

High-school interns at Facebook make $6,000 a month

"Google requires that interns be at least a college freshman"

Venture capitalist writes glowing review of product on Amazon

"It sounds like a pretty clear cut conflict of interest"

Warning: Andy Dick, 48, returning to the Hamptons

Will "belt out tunes" at Mash-Up Society

Mayor, 66, allegedly stole from veterans fund

"Told detectives some of the money was for gas to pick up bricks for the project or for his time cleaning the memorial"

Boy, 14, bitten by shark on foot

Injuries were only minor

Domino’s staff rises to occasion after pilot calls to serve jet

Manager had just dismissed: "I put my hand over the phone and I said: 'Guys, you're coming back. Actually, they were super excited. They had a blast. It was a challenge. It was definitely one of those 'challenge accepted' moments in time"
Pilot: "If the need arises, you need to take care of your family; you need to take care of your passengers. They are my responsibility the moment they step on the aircraft until they get off the aircraft"

For-profit campus president threatens AP writer with security

"She identified herself as the campus president but declined to repeat or spell her name. A few minutes earlier, after a reporter took business cards of campus staff left for visitors at the reception desk, a person walked to the desk and removed all the remaining cards"

No mention of cyberhacking in Kerry visit to China

AP: "No U.S. official on Wednesday explicitly mentioned the cyberhacking dispute between Washington and Beijing"

Fugitive, 25, busted after opining about Redskins in newspaper

“I think they should keep the same name, but change the mascot to a potato"

‘Water monster’ lifeguard, 32, drowns trying to save swimmer

"The waves were huge. I saw it and I thought a tsunami was coming"
"Ben would go. We love you. You will be missed"
"He's in paradise today — swimming with dolphins"

N.Y. Post calls 1989 best for summer movies, omits ‘Road House’

All they had to do was follow 3 simple rules ... but opinions vary

CNBC’s Karen Finerman opines on whether women can have it ‘all’

"One woman's 'all' may be another woman's nightmare. Likely true if you have one of those very rare jobs like CEO of Pepsi"

Two flooded golf courses already may be done for the year

"It's pretty sad"

Uber slashes prices to undercut NYC cabs

"Desperate attempt to penetrate a market in an unsustainable way"
Pittsburgh residents vouch: "Having Uber around is crucial to helping me do my job and live my life more easily" ... "I can say absolutely that not having this great service will affect my life in a very negative way" ... "Please don’t make life in Pittsburgh boring again"

Drunkard, 73, crashes golf cart into tree at PGA West country club

Woman fell off vehicle just before 2:26 a.m. incident

Knuckleheads ignore warnings in interstate speeding crackdown

"They go past the first one, it tells them their speed. They go past the second one, it tells them their speed. If they’re still speeding when they get to Southpointe, troopers will pull them over"

CNBC’s Sharon Epperson headlines United Way event in Pittsburgh

"Explained how to make the most of your money and more"

California fishermen caught laughing during shark attack

"I don't think they understood what was really going on. I hope they didn't understand, because if they did, oh my God, it wasn't even close to funny. This was me about to lose my life"

Wealth-management firm thought email of CNBC rank was a prank

Missed CNBC ceremony: "But as prestigious as the recognition is, it comes with a downside"

Man ignites illegal fireworks, blows off both hands

"It would have had to have been something pretty powerful"

Elderly man dies in skydiving accident

Apparently in his 70s; unclear what happened

Terry Bradshaw, 65, decries archery in Louisiana schools

"Listen, listen — fat, lazy kids shooting a bow and arrow? You're not getting anything out of that, other than you can go deer hunting later on. I am so sick of these fat, lazy kids that don't do anything ... I got on an elevator this morning, and nobody can even speak the English anymore"

Puerto Rico eliminates free event passes for 75-older

"This is a crime. Where are we going to get the money from if we live off a pittance?"

Man, 72, is run over by own truck in farm field

Got out, failed to put vehicle in park despite being on incline, walked around to front

Died: Louis Zamperini, 97, Olympic star, WWII inspiration

"His wasn't a sad story. It was a triumph. He left behind a lesson in the breadth of possibility for all of us, and in forgiveness"
Angelina: "I imagine that for the last 10-something years, he's been sitting there having a coffee in the morning and wondering, 'Who's going to make this movie?' And I've been sitting in my room thinking, 'What am I supposed to be doing with my life?'"

Media watchdog carps at Eamon Javers’ defensible BAE report

"Obviously, the company and its executive get a black eye for this. But what about Javers?"
CNBCfix comment: As Styx said, too much time on their hands ... what was the last Poynter.org scoop (aside from the 9 people making 6-digit salaries) ... instead of inventing phony outrage, how about giving hard-working journalists a break for telling the public what they know, and when presented with inaccuracies, making sure the story's right

Ky. attorney general downplays claim of gas-price gouging

"I actually emailed him and got like a form letter back. It said, it's free enterprise, it's not gas gouging. But, everyone else knows it's gas gouging. So, we might have to get the Federal Trade Commission involved"
North Carolina: Attorney general declares gouging law in effect; "We’re warning price gougers not to use this crisis as an excuse to make an unfair profit off of consumers"

Twitter critic unimpressed by Gasparino’s Goldman Sachs ‘scoop’

Charlie: "my mole inside @GoldmanSachs to @FoxBusiness '2q FICC is brutal' lloyd gotta be banking on reversal of dodd frank which seems impossible"
Heckler: "@CGasparino @MadameButcher my mole inside Metallica says that they're probably going to play Glastonbury this year #notexactlynews"
Charlie: "my mole inside ur head said he found 3 brain cells"


Michael Douglas: "Throat" cancer was really "tongue" cancer, diagnosed with Stage 4 oral cancer in 2010, aggressive form of radiation and chemotherapy, 5 months treatment, clear after 2 years, "There is a 95% chance it's not coming back"
Eddie Van Halen: 2000 diagnosis, treatment on tongue, doctors removed cancer cells from his throat, and the following fall removed another small chunk of his tongue, "the healthiest 57-year-old I've ever seen"
Brett Butler: Said using chewing tobacco as a young player, only for a couple years, was the likely culprit, diagnosed with carcinoma of the tonsils at 38 in 1996, underwent surgery, traveled to Mexico for treatment not approved in the United States, continued with radiation and chemotherapy upon return to States, back on field for Dodgers in 1996, now coaches Marlins
Ben Gazzara: Despite debilitating treatment for throat cancer, in 1999 published an autobiography and worked steadily for the next decade, died of pancreatic cancer at 81 in 2012
Sigmund Freud: In 1923, at 67, regular cigar smoker developed growth in mouth, was cancer of the soft palate, waited years before showing anyone, feared cigar habit would rightly be blamed, endured 33 operations for cancer of the jaw and oral cavity in his last 16 years
Bruce Paltrow: In 1999, diagnosed with throat cancer. After radical surgery and radiation, back on movie set after 13 days, declared in remission in 2000, suddenly died of respiratory complications at 58 in October 2002, news caught inner circle off-guard, "His body had taken a beating, but he didn't let on"
Jim Kelly: Diagnosed with throat cancer in 2013, family announced in 2014 cancer returned and "starting to spread," finished chemotherapy and radiation in spring 2014 to cheers
Clay Felker: Stricken with cancer of the throat and mouth but survived a long battle with the illness while continuing to teach and inspire, died July 1, 2008, at 82 at Manhattan home
Aaron Spelling: Diagnosed in 2001 with oral cancer from lifetime of smoking cigarettes, continued to work but rarely gave interviews, suffered severe stroke in June 2006 at home, died 5 days later at 83, June 23, 2006, from complications following the stroke
Curt Flood: Diagnosed with throat cancer in 1995, initially given 90-95% chance of survival, underwent radiation, chemotherapy, throat surgery, died Jan. 20, 1997, at 59 at UCLA Medical Center after developing pneumonia
George Harrison: In 1997 discovered lump on neck, cancerous; malignant node from oral cancer treated with surgery, radiation, "I got it purely from smoking. I gave up cigarettes many years ago, but had started again for a while and then stopped in 1997," original oral/throat cancer reappeared in lungs, brain tumor, died Nov. 29, 2001, at 58

Gates, 58, jet too big for Los Alamos airport

Throwback: Party invitations copied early Microsoft business cards, with Albuquerque address

Uber partners with Blade helicopter rides to Hamptons

"We see it as the beginning of a tradition"

Claim: Oakland mayor, 64, didn’t give driver proof of insurance

"Strongly denied that she was using her cell phone while driving"

Oakland housing market apparently surging

"Oakland has finally been noticed as the San Francisco annex and is gaining steam on all fronts: real estate, art and culture, which transformed it into the new 'it' place in the Bay Area"

Journalists file suit over ticketing by Oakland cops

Jaywalking, "supposedly running a red light" while bicycling

CNBCfix review: ‘Amazon Rising’ wasn’t on Jeff Bezos’ wish list

David Faber's profile of a rather callous company was resisted by CEO

Man, 19, struck by lightning, refuses to miss concert

"I've got pit passes to meet Randy Houser. I don't have the energy like I did when I showed up, but I'm not missing these shows ... I had to see Carrie Underwood, and I'm not missing these shows"
Pain: "I remember everything; how it felt, and it felt terrible. Imagine grabbing onto an electrical fence, but it was 10 times worse than that — with a lot more juice. And I've grabbed onto a fence like that, so I know"

Cop who had sex on duty in patrol car is terminated

Paper: "She and Carlson had sex 15 to 20 times while the sergeant was on duty, as well as when he was off duty. They had sex in multiple places, including at City Hall"
Confessions: "She knew it was wrong, but Travis kept playing mind games with her. I informed her, it’s not all her fault, and Travis knew what he was doing, so don't put all the blame on yourself. It takes 2 to tango ... Sgt. Carlson was quiet for a few seconds and said, ‘We have been messing around.' Carlson started crying and asked me for help ..."

Cops grumble that driving-while-texting law is unenforceable

"There is absolutely no way a police officer can know what (drivers) are doing"
AP: "The law doesn’t prevent drivers from using cellphones to make calls, type in phone numbers or access other applications. It also doesn’t allow officers to confiscate a phone to confirm if the driver was texting or sending an email"

Iran resumes auto exports to Russia after 5 years

"Vehicles selling for $13,000 to $16,000"

Man, 36, dies in forklift accident

Paper: "For some reason he got off the forklift and the stack of wood fell and crushed him"

Woman, 22, survives 3 subway trains rolling over her after fall

Believed to be intoxicated

Homeowner shoots intruder who stabbed him

“As he was approaching the garage, he was attacked by the suspect and stabbed multiple times. The victim was armed and … fired at the suspect, striking him twice"

Died: Bobby Womack, 70, R&B HOFer behind ‘Across 110th Street’

"He's a beautiful person and when he opens his mouth and that voice comes out, it is something that is somehow touched by God"
Listen on YouTube: "Take my advice, it's either live or die ... You've got to be strong, if you want to survive ..."

Even Democrats call Obama ambassador pick ‘embarrassing’

AP: "At his Foreign Relations Committee hearing, Tsunis mishandled questions about Norway's political parties and spoke of Norway's president, even though it is a constitutional monarchy"

Gasparino implies things not great at former employer

"just noticed @CNBC doing a segment on america's "happiest workers" bet there arent any in englewood cliffs, nj"

Shirtless man carrying 4-foot pipe charges police cruiser

"Under the influence of mind-altering drugs ... gibberish and could not be understood ... drunk or high and was talking about seeing blue orbits ... tackled that car and could have crushed it if he wanted to ... He also claimed he was from the Planet Zoltron and that his father sent him"

Simon Hobbs leaks name during gay-CEO discussion

Which high-profile boss does Simon think is "out"?

Pa. gov, 65: I never condemned Joe Paterno, and ‘never will’

Says firing of coach by phone was wrong: "If I had known that, I would have insisted they do it in person. Man up"

Pennsylvania commission calls for shutdown of Uber, Lyft

"Because something disastrous could happen"

Shia Labeouf, 28, in Studio 54 meltdown during ‘Cabaret’

Paper: "Annoying other theater goers by slapping random people on the behind and on the back of the head. He was also smoking"
To cops: "I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys and I'm going to ruin your career"

Died: Mary Rodgers, 83, composer made star of Carol Burnett

Daughter of Richard Rodgers, signature work was "Once Upon a Mattress"

Obama stops at tavern famous for Jucy Lucy burger

"I was just shaking. I couldn't believe it. We were just so excited"

Hardware shop manager laments staff turnover

"We've been blessed to have a couple of longtime employees but it sure seems like we always have the 'help wanted' sign on the door. As soon as we get one hired, someone else puts in their notice"

Robert De Niro, 70, watches U.S. soccer game with NYC residents

"We got another email from a neighbor saying he talked to the crew and apparently he found a house of people watching it and joined them"

Donald Sterling, 80, seen at spa with much-younger woman

"They were being really affectionate with each other"

Georgia Democrats seeing red over CNBC rank

"Doug Oberhelman is the Chairman of the National Association of Manufacturers ... Oberhelman is also the CEO of Caterpillar, which benefitted from a $44 million tax break from Governor Deal's administration to open a new factory in Georgia. Even though Oberhelman is personally benefiting from a tax incentive from the governor, CNBC did not disclose the connection ..."
CNBC spokeswoman: "CNBC's America's Top States for Business is determined from a very clear methodology scoring states based on publicly available data on 56 different measures of competitiveness and 10 broad categories. Neither the National Association of Manufacturers nor the Council on Competitiveness provided any of the data used in our study, nor have they ever. CNBC consulted with both organizations in structuring the study in 2007. They have not been involved beyond that, and had no involvement in this year’s study whatsoever"

Sheryl Sandberg, 44, other women are 31% of FB work force

"More work to do — a lot more"

Georgia writer: No. 1 CNBC ranking nothing to celebrate

"Essentially, then, one of the state’s top rankings in the CNBC survey is based on little more than the fact that it has a large airport and a large port ... Georgia’s other No. 1 ranking, for its work force, is similarly faint praise ... Georgia gets this top ranking on the 'strength' of having a lower-paid work force ..."

Georgia gov, 71, trumpets No. 1 CNBC rank during visit to Israel

"Deal ... went to the broadcaster’s Tel Aviv studios to acknowledge the award"
"We were asked by several entrepreneurs whether there were any Jewish people in Atlanta. (Attorney General Sam Olens, who opened the session in Hebrew, quickly answered that question.)"

Hillary, 66, has deal with Huma Abedin, 37, to keep Weiner, 49, quiet

"Stay out of public life for 2 years"

CNBC execs said to be ‘furious’ over ‘Wall $treet Week’ revival

"Blindsided when they learned of the deal at SALT ... That's why the popular contributor hasn't been on air since June 3"

‘Survivor’ contestant, 26, dies in horrific rail yard accident

"He was an incredible guy with a warm and inviting spirit"

Museum decision leaked to paper before Lucas, 70, meets SF mayor

"At some point, there is consequence to all this negative energy"

Woman who works for Amazon, dressing, sees drone at window

"I was concerned that it was looking at me, it was at my home and I felt really violated"

Man, 53, walks into McDonald’s with knife stuck in his back

"He was cool and calm. But you could tell he was shaken up. I went to pull the knife out, but someone said, 'No, no! It might have hit an artery!'"

Dad, 43, jailed after AT&T errs in garnishing child support

Judge: "I usually give them a chance to pay. And on their 2nd contempt, I send them to jail"

Cops warn of gas station car prowlers

"Multiple surrounding jurisdictions have had cases of purses being stolen out of cars at gas stations while women are pumping gas"

Hawker, 38, of $1.25 Daily News claims attack from angry distributor

"I promised him, ‘Jesus Christ could come down here right now, but at $1.25, he’ll lose customers, too'"

Gasparino balks at tweeter’s defense of Paulson, 68, on climate

"yeah like the credit crisis is almost over (he said that in late 2007) so buy all the citi and leh u can u are really dumb"

3 injured in pile-up at McDonald’s drive-thru

"It's lucky it wasn't a lot worse. There is a gas station right there"

Twitter tax break costs San Francisco $4.2 million in tax revenue

"It shows that this policy was absolutely the right approach for Central Market, a neighborhood that has seen decades of vacancies"

Phil Mickelson, 44, still in the rough with Dean Foods

"Authorities are probing whether Walters provided stock tips to Mickelson"

Matt Lauer, 56, Jeff Zucker, 49, not at Katie Couric’s, 57, wedding

Instead partying with Gerald Lefcourt and his wife Robin in nearby Bridgehampton

ABA gives lawyers green light to read jurors’ social media pages

"I will be doing it for every trial"

CNBCfix review: Excitement in backwardation in Secret Club

Kate Kelly's dry account of commodities world fails to pose an important airline question

Famed J-school’s diplomas include misspelling

"The irony and the jokes are just too easy to come by"

Heckler suggests Gasparino couldn’t beat S&P 500

Response: "stick to mowing your lawn because i dont do stock picking and if i did i wld recommend the vangaurd (sic) 500 fund"

Died: Stephanie Kwolek, 90, Kevlar inventor saved countless lives

Signed over patent royalties to the company

Berkeley ready to mandate climate warnings on gas pumps

"The labels are a hopeful message that we all are capable of changing the outcome of the global warming problem. The label identifies you as part of the problem. It's a gentle reminder that says, 'Hey, you can do something with what you drive. We need to cooperate to deal with this problem'"
"This isn't just lefty kooky Berkeley speaking. Berkeley is doing something rational. This is in line with the city's and the state's climate plans"

Ex-Goldman trader sues, claims $8.25 million bonus too low

Saw dropoff from $15 million in prior year, happened to gloat about subprime

Deputy, 49, accused of prostituting wife

"Very volatile" marriage led to "fairly bitter" divorce

DUI charges mysteriously dropped against TV anchor, 55

"No reason other than the word 'other'"

Man at NYSE takes photo of Kelly Evans’ back

Carpe diem

Drunkard, 21, drives boss’ Maserati into public transit pit

Discovered in maintenance yard around 3:44 a.m.

Psychiatric hold: Man laughs on highway as truck burns

"Whether he started it or not, I don't know. We'll have to investigate"

Judges give car-owning L.A. homeless a break

"You will never solve this problem if you paint all homeless people with the same broad brush ... You've got to look at this like your son or daughter was on the street"

Family barred from amusement park attacks cops

"They were jumping on officers' backs. One officer was kicked in the head. They were punching and scratching. It was a melee"

Democratic ex-congresswoman, 52, is JPM’s new Midwest chief

"Will help recruit high-level talent in the Midwest, oversee charitable contributions and play a role as the public face of the New York-based banking giant"

Female on Harvard rowing crew rescues stranded woman in river

"If was definitely a team effort and we couldn't have done it without everyone there"

Gasparino: Goldman Sachs fears permanent trading downtrend

"my sources @GoldmanSachs say lloyd and the boys are praying the trading downturn is cyclical if not the firm will be downsized big time"
Dis of CNBC's Scott Wapner: "In the Jacksonville @CNBC news stand and staring at me: a photo of @ScottWapnerCNBC which is why I'll be skipping breakfast"

Uber requests meeting with Orlando mayor, 55

"Uber reached out to us, which I see as a positive thing. We're an aggressively technology-centric city, and Uber is the new thing right now, with a new way of doing things. ... They just make blanket statements that they do background checks and have insurance, and don't say much else about it"

Man, 79, fights off robber at 7-Eleven

"He said, 'Give me your wallet, old man.' The main thing going on in my mind is, 'You aren't going to get my wallet.'... He was kind of slow. I think I could have taken him, to tell you the truth. ... I'm 79, but I really don't feel like 79"

Mom angry at child’s haircut ransacks hair salon

"Started an argument," but, "employee left the woman inside the store alone"

Up to 12 squatters ejected from foreclosed house owned by BAC

Woman, 47, "had 9 bags of heroin, a pipe, a scale and more packaging in her possession"

Tax attorney, 58, gets 1 year for not filing returns

Paper: "Did not report any income he earned from 1999 through 2010"

Bears wander onto soccer fields, steal kids’ lunch boxes

"After this, she says the campers will eat elsewhere and store their food indoors"

Woman, 44, gets DUI summons after knocking out telephone pole

"We had some very rude, irate motorists. Quite frankly, I’m appalled"

Senator, 59, questions relevance of high-frequency trading flap

"If I am doing a $2,000 trade, you're concerned about a conflict of interest where I might have to pay an additional 40 cents? Is that what this is about?"
Indignant study author: "No, it's about the fact that you didn't get to trade. Your assumption that you trade is wrong"

Rick Perry, 64: ‘I’m more Jewish than you think I am’

Mulls move to California, "if I could afford it. Why wouldn't you want to live out here? Seriously?"

0.17%: Drunkard, 42, asks cops for Breathalyzer, is refused

"Apparently he decided to drive anyway"

Bear walks down Main Street, smashes garbage cans

"These bears are exactly the kind of bears we don't want to see"

5 Oakland brushfires might’ve been arson

"Oh my God, I'm right back to '91. We went to get lunch and smelled the fire. There was lots of ash around our house — I'm talking one-inch-size ash. I saw people packing up their cars with scrapbooks and hard drives, because in '91, it was like, 'You don't wait, you do it now"

Dr. Oz, 54, actually trumpeted ‘magic weight loss cure’ on show

Sen. Claire McCaskill, 60: "I get that you do a lot of good on your show ... I don't get why you need to say this stuff because you know it's not true"

1-cent ‘Mona Lisa’ of stamps sells for $9.5 million

Last owned by John E. du Pont: "You're not going to find anything rarer than this. It's a stamp the world of collectors has been dying to see for a long time"

MailOnline gushes about Jon Steinberg, late 30s, CNBC interview

3rd graf: "praised MailOnline for ‘having done a spectacular job in the U.S.’"

Oakland pitcher, 25, put on 15-day DL after punching chair

Had just given up 8 runs in 3⅔ innings

Died: Stanley Marsh 3, eccentric millionaire artist facing charges

"It is unfortunate Stanley died before he had the opportunity to clear his good name"
Landmarks: Cadillac Ranch observing 40th anniversary this week

Man’s body found in submerged car

Witness calls 911, on hood of vehicle when police arrive

No show: Harry Reid, 74, skipping Skins games until name change

AP: "In a letter Monday to the team's president ... rejected Bruce Allen's invitation to a Redskins home game until the team does the right thing and changes its name"

B of A fined $32 million for ripping off charity, retirees

"Merrill Lynch, which was acquired by BofA in 2009, added extra mutual-fund charges for small business retirement plans for five years, even after discovering that it shouldn't"

Chicago up in arms over letters on Donald Trump, 68, building

"The complaints run from the purely aesthetic (it's ugly!) to dubious claims about regional values (modest Midwestern Chicago versus egotistical East Coast New York)"

Gasparino implies White House has wrong focus


13-year-old boy electrocuted atop train

"There is no fence around the yard. Right now we're investigating what happened"

Lightning triggers house fire

No one injured

Rick Perry exceeds Joe Kernen’s ‘really high bar’ for being offended

"The psychologists — they've already weighed in. They've dismissed the idea that sexual orientation is a mental disorder and they've told their mental health professionals to avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation"

Mom, 24, of 3 sticks head out car window to vomit, dies

"It's just a shame of the amount of people that are getting killed in drunk driving accidents, it's just something that shouldn't be done"

Glitch backs up checkout lines at Target stores

"Delays at some checkouts, but is not in any way related to a security issue"

Terry Bradshaw ‘proud to have played for’ Chuck Noll

"You start thinking about Chuck and when all of the wonderful things that come to mind, you realize he's in heaven and spending eternity in peace. That's very refreshing. I’m proud to have played for him. It was a great honor. My relationship wasn’t good, as you well know, but he made me understand my job responsibilities, because I had to grow up. ... I learned how to be mentally tough with him, and for that I can never say thank you enough, because that got me through divorces, Super Bowls, and those times when I had bad moments in big games. He made me mentally strong, which I wasn't. And he instilled in me a great work ethic. I had a good work ethic, but preparation was paramount with him, so we spent a lot of time going through preparations for the games. He was an amazing guy. ... You try to get better and better, and then when it's all said and done he says, 'Thank you. You were a great quarterback.' And you say, 'Wow!' He was different than anybody I had ever been around and played for. He was smart, really smart"

Man, 37, killed within hour of being mistakenly freed from jail

"Weird stuff, huh?"

Paralegal, 42, secretly settled cases, stole $327,000

Continued contacting clients and taking cash even after being fired

Barry Ritholtz, Josh Brown both make top 5 business blogs

No word about ranking in wealth-management standings

Judge tosses harassment suit of Wayne Chrebet, 40, vs. cops

Judge "argued that Chrebet claimed that he personally suffered damages in the suit but that the restaurant was actually controlled by a corporation"

Woman, 72, dies in overgrown yard, kitten on lap

"I wish we would have known about this. We probably could have salvaged her"

Brothers, 42 and 44, accused of fraudulent tax-filing scheme

"The falsifications often included incorrect and made up business expenses"

Man, 67, finds $640 in unpaid medical debt; credit score falls to 660

"Even if you pay it off, it won't be removed. It will only show a zero balance. The only way it can be removed is if the credit report is inaccurate. In the eyes of the collection agency, he owes $640"

Died: Glenn Britt, 65, critical of Warner, AOL combinations

"Both deals were very lopsided in favor of one set of shareholders"

Kate Upton turns 22 in Chicago

River North tiki bar Three Dots and a Dash: "She wasn't in a bikini"

Mayor caught throwing dog feces on neighbor’s walkway

Resident "thinks it was in retaliation because he opposes a neighborhood dog park"

Pittsburgh Uber drivers refuse to be photographed with cars

"I am worried my insurance company might drop my coverage, because I know people this has happened to"
Wages: Lyft driver works 20 hours a week, makes $550

Donald Sterling, 80: No sale

"While my position may not be popular, I believe that my rights to privacy and the preservation of my rights to due process should not be trampled"

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, 52, has mastered the art of parsing

"In hindsight, should we have done more to investigate Donald? I'm frankly not sure. In this case, I mean, in addition to the fact that this tape in essence was broadcast to the world and so quickly became available to us, in the past these were issues that did not directly impact the NBA. And we're not the government. He was investigated by the Department of Housing, the Department of Justice. There were individual lawsuits with him that settled out. So I was at the League during that time, and when we monitored those events, at least it felt at that time that we were doing the appropriate thing. It's a fair point that in hindsight possibly we should have done more. Certainly if I had to do it again, maybe we would have done more but our eyes are open going forward"
Bill Clinton coincidentally speaks same day: "In a larger sense we are too divided, not because we shouldn't argue but because we don't want to resolve ..."

Carl Quintanilla joins HBO’s ‘Real Sports,’ kinda overdoes it

"The quality of their reporting is as good as there has ever been on television"

Venture capitalist mocked as ‘Palo Alto resident’

"He was so arrogant. Somebody had to say it. It was obvious"

Baupost up nearly $1 billion on Merck-Idenix deal

"Boston-based firm has been accumulating shares since the 2nd quarter of 2011"

Sue Herera — The Pride of Alpine

"I bought a very old house that needed a ton of work. We didn't have kids so we figured, it was so close to work and the taxes were low. Quiet town. I fell in love with it. I really loved it ... There's a great sense of community commitment by the local businesses here, whether it's Tenafly or Alpine or Closter, that I didn't find in Los Angeles. It's just a different feel ... I like the small-town atmosphere and small-town living ... I couldn't imagine living anywhere other than Alpine"

CNBC done with daytime Nielsen

"A source said the network has told advertisers that only half its clients asked for guarantees, anyway ... Instead, said a source close to the network, the company is offering guarantees based on its own internal measurement of ad deliveries"

Phil LeBeau got Rick Wagoner scoop after swimming laps

"A source had left him a hot news tip: General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner was being fired. As CNBC's automobile and airline industry reporter, LeBeau knew this was a huge story"
Reporting: "We hit a story pretty hard. The people who watch CNBC are investors. The investors, they're focused on what's going to happen to the business, not what's going to happen for the consumer. The two don't always come together"
Refuses companies' offers of free cars: "I don't do car reviews. My job is not to talk about how great a company is. If they have great sales, I'll report that. But I've got good news and bad news stories on all automakers and airlines"

Oakland shootings plummet 35%

Robberies down 38%: "There is still an important distinction between celebration of good news and announcing conclusions about cause and effect"

CNBC promotes Sara Eisen to co-host

Deogun: "Has been so ably contributing to Squawk on the Street, will permanently join the team as a co-host of the 10 am ET/7 am PT hour, effective immediately"
Oh by the way: Launching "Squawk Alley" at 11 a.m. Eastern hour

Marcus Lemonis sues business he tried to save in ‘The Profit’

"You go in and try to help people and they defy your trust. It blows my mind"
Rebuttal: "There was never any talk about giving us the $190,000 to purchase Brooklyn Burger until the filming. We plan on giving him back the money. That was always the understanding"
Actual program comments that Daily News failed to quote (show review here):
"And how much do you need?"
Howard Mora: "About 200,000."
Lemonis: "You know, I can't just give you the money. I can't just write you a check and give you a gift, as much as I like you guys ... in order for me to give you that money, I'm gonna need to get a return on my money. And the only (thing) that I can think of is that I buy Brooklyn Burger from you. And I'll repackage it. And I'll get it back on its feet."
Howard Mora: "We're willing to do whatever it takes. But uh, with your guidance now, I think that um, that, things will work out, mu- much much better"

Mark of celebration: Hoffman leads rousing cheers at CNBC

"There's been a lot of highlights ... I would say the proudest I was of the organization, was in the- leading up to the financial crisis in 2008, and the year or year and a half or so that followed it, I felt like, as if all of the hard work that had gone into building the organization over the first 20-plus years, or so, had really paid off ... I was so proud of the way CNBC not only reported the story, but the way they treated the seriousness of those events"
Tears: "Do I see a little moisture in your eyes, Tyler?"


Kelly Evans pushes Matt Damon, 43, to be Aquaman, help charity

Kelly Evans: "Matt Damon, if only you could play a superhero who could deliver clean drinking water to the world's poorest, uh, dare I ask whether you could play Aquaman and in fact leverage your celebrity to draw attention to this cause through this new movie that potentially uh, rumors are out there you could play Aquaman in"
Matt Damon: "Playing 'Aguaman' (sic)? Is that the ..."
Evans: "A-qua"
Damon: "Sorry, that's a terrible joke"
Evans: "You can go the Spanish route if you want to. I mean-"
Brian Sullivan: "There is international distribution for the Justice League, so it's fine. It's the character plays (sic)"
Damon: "We're huge in Latin America, Um, uh, no, well, you know, since they, since they made Ben Batman, I've been showing up at his house every day dressed as Robin, but um, my little campaign I don't think has, has gone too well so far. So far I haven't been contacted by anyone to, to be in the movie, but with Ben in there-"
Evans: "Would you do it though Matt? Because look you have to say it would make a certain amount of sense for this cause, if you did it ONLY for this cause, it would actually make a certain amount of sense ..."
Damon: "Well, all right, uh, uh, I'm open to being in any good movie as always; it might be a bit of a stretch ..."

Fox Business has trouble spelling ‘Gasparino’

Looks like someone finally fixed it

‘Ukrainian situation’ at NYSE during Wright’s off-kilter interview

Launching CNBC: "Enormous challenge ... brutal effort ... very, very difficult thing"
Bill Griffeth: "We forget Bob, that back then, no e-mail, no Internet, no cell phones, I mean, the, the information flow was a lot different than it is now. So, for people who wanted up-to-date information about the stock market or whatever market they were trading, I mean, FNN was it for the '80s, but CNBC did a much better job of providing that information when it went on the air 25 years ago, right?"
Bob Wright: "Well, it was also remarkable how much the trades were actually generally daily newspapers. They covered the networks like it was, every day was a presidential election. Every little thing was covered, every argument, every default, every- every issue was covered. So, you couldn't get out of the-, uh, of print."
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: "Well, what do you think is the next 25 years for CNBC. What does it hold?"
Wright: "I hear a lot of sirens. Is this- is this kind of Ukrainian situation you're in?"
Caruso-Cabrera: "No, you know what it speaks to, it speaks to the fact that the floor is so empty now they get bored and there's a guy whooping over here like crazy, I don't know why."
Griffeth: "Well it's the day before a 3-day weekend and they usually do something like that. So, It brings in a holiday mood."
Wright: "They don't-"
Griffeth: "Don't take it personally Bob."
Wright: "They don't have Russian flags. They don't have Russian flags, do they?"
Griffeth: "Yeah, no, no, everything's fine here."
Unanswered MCC question: "Why didn't we have the peacock way at the beginning?"
Wright: "The peacock was like 'The War of the Worlds' with the affiliates. Uh, We had knock-down, drag-out battles, uh, 6 months ahead of time about using the peacock. It was uh, very- you have no idea how difficult this was"
Caruso-Cabrera: "Glad it finally happened."
Names: Ted David, Chuck Dolan, Tom Rogers, David Zaslav
Omitted: Roger Ailes

Ron Insana defends call for 10-20% market correction

"I don't think, you're an individual investor it's something that you get all, you know, ginned up about ... I don't like this rally ... either the Fed is perceived to be moving more aggressively ..."
Claimed HFT as possible catalyst: "In the wake of Michael Lewis's "Flash Boys" hitting store shelves, moves by regulators to slow down high-frequency trading (HFT) could also affect the market at some juncture"

Ovation, cake in powerful tribute to Larry Kudlow

"I am a grateful camper. I really am. The Lord has blessed me, a beautiful bride, a great life, a 2nd chance, a new career, some wonderful friends, and some of the best debates on TV that there ever was ..."

CNBC’s Sara Eisen says Gwyneth Paltrow sounds ‘crazy’

MacKenzie Dawson: "I think Gwyneth is a little bit tone-deaf"
Ylan Mui: "She kinda hated on everybody else ... why does it have to be a competition?"
MacKenzie Dawson: "She may be assuming that most jobs are 9 to 5"
Sara Eisen: "I think it's like crazy, out of nowhere ... Paid millions of dollars to work for a few days, I mean, it's like, crazy to me"
Scott Cohn: "She's being very well-compensated for all of those hassles"
Kelly Evans: "We did by the way reach out to Paltrow so she could comment or clarify; didn't receive a response"

Neil Young calls CNBC’s Kelly Evans ‘Michelle’

Kelly: "And Neil when you're choosing, what I think a lot of people are trying to understand is, is this just a way of presenting music files differently, or if you become part of this whole ecosystem that you're pushing for, does each artist have to record it specifically, have it be distributed one way and then played on your device in order to capture that full experience?"
Neil: "That's a good question, Michelle. Uh, uh, the, the uh, artists get to do exactly what they want to do. There is no format with Pono. It's completely different. It's not a CD or an MP3. It plays back exactly what the artist gave you. ... Whatever the artist created in the studio is exactly what you hear"
Interruptions: Every Evans question afterward cuts off a Young answer
Neil: "Kelly, I'm sorry I called you Michelle, that was my mistake"
Kelly: "Oh no, hey, that's a compliment, come on"

Possible Iger successor listens to inner voice, quits

Anne Sweeney praised "for knowing what she wants out of life"

Ex-UPS night supervisor’s family aghast at extent of iPad thefts

Relative "asked how many items were stolen and gasped when the reporter told her 26"
"Police say this case is not connected to the thefts of packages delivered by UPS and left outside recipients' front doors"

Sheryl Sandberg’s campaign to ban ‘bossy’ gains traction

Too often used as a put-down for girls

Columnist decrying Hillary rumors only manages to spread them

"In case you haven’t heard, Hillary Clinton may have a secret terrible illness ..."

Prosecutors call ‘Mariano Rivera of blood spatter’

Defense gripes he "had all the answers to the test before he ever took the test"

Mondelez exec predicts customers making 3-D Big Macs at home

"McDonald’s might actually go into the printing business"

Art writer, 39, who dissed Grand Rapids dies in Uganda

"Perhaps ArtPrize is a masterful piece of performance art. A carnivalesque happening of the sort Warhol would have loved, sly and subversive precisely because of it preposterous openness, a giant paper-mache middle finger rising out of flyover country, gesturing toward the bastions of the elite"

Pilot on Malaysian plane once invited hotties to cockpit

"We were standing in line at the boarding gate, just with everybody else and the pilot and co-pilot walked past us and came back and asked us if we would like to sit with them in the cockpit during the flight so obviously we said ‘Yes!' ... Throughout the whole flight they were talking to us, they were actually smoking through the flight which I don’t think they’re allowed to be doing. They were taking photos with us in the cockpit while they were flying. I was just completely shocked ... possibly a little bit sleazy. They asked us if we could arrange our trip to stay in Kuala Lumpur for a few nights ... they could take us out. ... I'm really not saying that I think co-pilot was in the wrong on this flight at all"

Man, 31, working on pickup in driveway is crushed to death

Girlfriend called friends, who lifted car with jacks and blocks, but victim already dead

Pre-Slamma Jamma: Former U. Houston hoops star, 52, dies

Rob Williams led 1982 Final Four team featuring Olajuwon, Drexler

Gasparino unable to shake Brett Arends in Twitter feud

"@BrettArends #loser"
Time-consuming: "Jerking Charlie Desparino's chain is just too tempting. I've had to block him to get work done!"

Stacey Widlitz gets poor service at Michael Kors

"Just met worlds worst sales person at $KORS. How did that one get through. Total outlier"

Oakland woman, 22, driving on I-80 crushed to death by falling tree

Wearing seat belt, not speeding

Subscribers of new L.A. paper to get free baseball, soccer tickets

Columnists "will clearly support the protection of individual liberties and freedoms"

Seth Rogen testimony is C-SPAN’s 2nd-greatest download

"It's C-SPAN's second most watched video after Obama’s inauguration"

Would prosecutors target mom of baby left at BK 27 years ago?

Young woman searching: "I would really like to see somebody who looks like me, and maybe I have (biological) brothers and sisters ... I'm really frustrated. I just wish I knew more about her"
State's attorney: "Most" prosecutors would "exercise sound discretion"

Richest guys in Michigan are the Meijer brothers

Amway co-founder not that far behind

University food writer cooked up fake quotes

Note to editors: "I should have quit from week one really, but I didn't and allowed myself to take shortcuts. These shortcuts — although temporary in easing my stresses — have hurt you, your staff and your publication, so widely cherished around our campus and beyond"

Which Oscar winner’s dad played for the Green Bay Packers?

"Defensive end. ... Sacked Johnny Unitas twice in one game"
Married to actor's mother 3 times; divorced twice

How to buy a bitcoin

"The process was much more enjoyable then (sic) opening up a bank account and the people involved were nice, accommodating and friendly"

Cop with 16,000 Twitter followers experiences ‘Streisand Effect’

"Blog and Twitter feed were suspended, causing an outcry"

Kudlow ‘was tired’

CNBCfix comment: Fine program and host; 10 years of same routine a bit much

Skydiver, pilot collide; both escape serious injury

"The plane caught the side of the canopy, flipped the plane 180 degrees and flipped the skydiver into the air. You heard the airplane hit the parachute, which sounded like you falling on your face into your pillow; a 'woof' sound"

Intraday record for S&P

JJ Kinahan: "Weighing on the market is the fact it's a Friday, and we've had a very nice run over the last couple of weeks, and world tensions, or the Ukraine situation, is still stirring, so to speak, so it's not surprising to see some people take profits"

‘Kudlow Report’ canceled

Hoffman: "A new 7PM strategy ... In my career, I have encountered few television hosts with Larry’s range ... Larry has always brought great enthusiasm to every program"

CNBC’s Robert Frank overdoes it during Sank & Frank bust

Brian Sullivan doesn't know what McD's 3rd drive-thru window is for:
Brian Sullivan: "So some Mcdonald's are now adding a 3rd window, order, you know pay, pick up, and then a 3rd window to respond to this. When does it end"
Sank: "It's not gonna end, the next thing they're gonna have is a 4th window where you can get your diabetes medication. Just gonna dangle your arm out the window"
Frank: "We want our McFlurrys in 2 minutes instead of 3. I mean, IT'S INSANE"
Sank: "It's now 3 minutes and 15 seconds and that's WAY too long to wait for your Big Mac. People are not happy."
Sank: "We're gonna see new advertising throughout Canada now. The Canada Board of Tourism, their new slogan is, 'Canada — we're not that boring after all,' with a picture of Rob Ford. So ..."

Bloomberg’s Sara Eisen jumps to CNBC

"Excited to announce I'm moving on. Will start at @CNBC dec 16"

Maria Bartiromo struggles to connect with Mike Tyson

Ending is cut from video clip at CNBC.com; here's the transcript you won't see:
Mike: "My goal now is to be helping people, and be sober, and be responsible for our children and if, um, be present for the day."
Maria: "And be what?"
Mike: "Be present."
Maria: "You wanna be president."
Mike: "Be present. I'm present. I'm present for the moment. I'm present with you."

CNBC’s foxy Courtney Reagan gets on-air proposal from boyfriend

It was actually during taping of "Nightly Business Report," CNBC's PBS vehicle ... Tyler Mathisen used great puns, but Jared's presentation was a little awkward

Gasparino fiasco: Wrongly suggests Bond Buyer closing

The one that started it all: "sad day if true: was told @TheBondBuyer is closing. gave a lot of us our start including @JoeMysak and even once paved the way for reform"
Then: "trying to confirm but NOT hard to believe given the mkt and the media mkt"
Finally: "just told @thebondbuyer is NOT closing thank God"
Defense: "@richmelville had the ring of being true because the last time u guys broke a story was when I was there in 94"
Critic: "@CGasparino Might be the last time you got one right, as well."
Critic II: "@CGasparino @richmelville Charlie, was '94 also the last time you picked up a phone to confirm something before running w/ it? COME ON."
Comeback: "@HeatherLandy ur dumber then the melville guy"
Profane: "@HeatherLandy gfy; I said "sad IF true" u moron now go back to writing that muni bonds remain unchanged"
Labels: "@ABWashBureau no I called her dumb cause she didn't read my tweet"
Misunderstood: "@ABWashBureau learn how to read u might get a job at bloomberg"
Finally, the gofer slam: "yes i need that steak sandwich medium rare when u get my dry cleaning"

World learns of Tape C: NDAQ down 3.4% in Flash Freeze

Connectivity disrupted between Nasdaq data-processing subsidiary and NYSE Arca
Embarrassment: "It certainly doesn't make them look good when their market went down but they pulled the switch before the market went crazy"
Reputation: "If it gets to the point of, ‘Oh, yeah, Nasdaq went down again, and that's not news,’ that’s when they lost their ability to deliver their core function"
Wash: "We didn't lose any money on the shutdown, but we also made very little money today"
NYT: "Nasdaq first sent out an alert at 12:14 p.m."; CNBC (above) added clock around 1:09
Unfair standard? Amazon trades up after its own outage Monday
AP: Proactive SEC could order Nasdaq to fix any problems

Man’s shorts, wallet stolen from Macy’s changing room

Savvy cop checks taverns/restaurants in vicinity, finds suspect at Chili's
Paper: "Macy’s management gave the victim a pair of shorts to wear out of the store"

Hamptons shocker: Goldman Sachs exec accused of rape

$20,000 bail delivered in cash

Reporter tries to contact Cramer about Lightning Round KR call

"He didn't return a phone call and email seeking more of his insight"

Dr. Phil deletes embarrassing drunk-girl tweet

"It was a poll question, not a statement or a joke"

3 members of 1972 Dolphins spurn White House PR invite

Langer: "We've got some real moral compass issues in Washington. I don't want to be in a room with those people and pretend I'm having a good time. ... If that (angers) people, so be it"
Fernandez: "I'll just say my views are diametrically opposed to the president's. Enough said. Let's leave it at that. I hope everyone enjoys the trip who goes"
Kuechenberg: "I want to be careful, because mom said if you have nothing good to say about someone, then don't say anything. I don't have anything good to say about someone. … I just don't believe in this administration at all. ... Without being critical, I can just tell you I don't belong. It would be hypocritical of me to be there. I don't want to do that. I just don't believe in this administration at all. So I don't belong. Anyone on the left or the right has to respect one man's opinion"
CNBCfix suggestions for future White House sports-PR props:
1957 Lions and 1964 Browns: Neither franchise has ever made the Super Bowl and is unlikely to do so before the battleground 2016 elections
1993 Buffalo Bills: Congratulations for getting there 4 times
1976 Minnesota Vikings: See above
1972 U.S. Olympic basketball team: Honor the rightful champs, stick it to Russia

Died: Thomas Pendergast, 81, spent 3 decades with AP

"Probably the most staunch Republican I've ever met in my life except for his wife. He once told me he was raised a Democrat and really that was his party of choice until I'm going to say probably 25 or 30 years ago"

Died: Andy Hilger, 83, radio owner got 1st job passing through town

Often left work to attend mass, spent hours at prison ministries: "He was born and raised Catholic, and that was the foundation he believed in and lived"

Died: Elmore Leonard, 87, novelist inspired ‘Jackie Brown’

No best-seller until 60s, taken seriously by few critics before 1990s

B of A London intern works 3 straight days until 6 a.m., dies

"I'm not going to comment on what hours people choose to spend in the office voluntarily"

Gasparino slams CNBC’s whale-watching emphasis

"its almost midweek and time for ackman/icahn/soros/cooperman to pump a stock thru a certain biz network"

Leif Garrett warns Justin Bieber about fame

"Do not believe your own publicity. Sussing out who your real friends are is full-time work. Every scum bag, every drug dealer, every chicken hawk wants a piece of you"

Boy, 13, runs 100 miles in under 24 hours

Last 2 in 18 minutes: "He didn't make any mistakes. I don't know how he does this"

Woman, 94, plows into Hooters after getting T-boned

Restaurant remains open

Only 1 ‘Breaking Bad’ fan actually dialed 911 during Cablevision outage

Police Department removes Facebook overreaction gripe

Radio boss excited about return of TV retread

"Bob is going to be better than he’s ever been before. Because if he isn't, I'm going to put a [expletive] cattle prod up his a–… I’m going to do him on TV. I'm going to do him at Cubs games… We're going to make this station alive"

Drunkard, 21, missing in innertube on river turns up safe at home

Parents "having a talk with Bryton"

Maine gov says Obama ‘hates white people’

Fundraiser: "It was a typical, off-the-cuff, off-the-script, Paul LePage comment"

Prof: Buffett has made $6.4 billion on Bank of America stake

Dines with Moynihan at the Happy Hollow Club in Omaha

It’s over for 101.9 The End and DJ Jimmy Chunga

"They did it again. I dont (sic) really know what I can and can't say at this point"
Aloha: Last song before format changeover was "It’s the End of the World as We Know It;" first song under new format is "Listen to the Music"

Caroline Kennedy might be worth $500 million

"She's very rich"

Person falls 100 feet off cliff near Half Moon Bay Ritz-Carlton

Airlifted after 2:10 p.m. incident

Angry viewers call 911 over Cablevision outage

State senator: "If you look at my Facebook and Twitter feeds, lots of constituents have been contacting me about this"

Union: Chicago City Colleges trying to dodge ObamaCare

Paper: "City Colleges of Chicago retreated — at least for now — from an effort to force part-time and administrative employees who are both tutors and adjunct instructors to choose between the two jobs. An employee and union representatives think that effort was meant to keep the employees’ workweek under 30 hours, which could mean they wouldn’t qualify for health-care coverage under the Obama administration’s health-care reform law"

IRS agent faked pastor’s letter to claim deduction

"We would still be outraged if this was not a revenue agent. But with a revenue agent, it’s like 'Are you kidding?'"

Woman faked own kidnapping with multiple stories

"A bank receipt was found in the car, even though she previously denied visiting the bank"

Chinese blame brokerage computer flaw for stock roller-coaster

Shanghai index surges 6% in 3 minutes

Doug Kass e-mail blasts Scott Wapner’s AAPL coverage

"Lee purchased only 31,000 shares of APPLE! I think your emphasis on Apple/Omega is hyperbolic and in the interests of good reporting you should quantify the importance of his Apple buy" ... "They should say, we advise investors to be careful after Apple shares appreciated. That is the obligation of the media business. The job is not to regurgitate the headline, but to provide additional information to the retailer. These activists have learned how to basically manipulate the news purveyors and it’s a very dangerous thing. It’s good for people’s careers and you all do it to gain favor without thinking about it. This is a very important story"

Town officials might be fired for not sounding storm sirens

"Just because it's not the best system is not an excuse for us not using it"

Herbalife great, 58, commits suicide

John Peterson made $3 million a year, catapulted by Internet-based lead-generation business

Last half-hour dooms ‘Jobs’

"The main flaw of 'Jobs' is that it limits itself to the ancient history of Jobs' rise and fall and rise at Apple. The movie might begin in 2001, but it never returns to the 21st century ... Another problem is that when Jobs is in conflict with his board of directors, it's not entirely certain whose side is right"
L.A. Times: "Even TV movies are done with more verve than this"
2 stars out of 4: "Amounts to a glorified TV movie"
2 stars out of 4: "Kutcher is everything except interesting"
1.5 stars out of 4: "Instead of showing, there's reams of expository dialogue"

Herb Greenberg expected ‘haters’ to mock CNBC exit

"Once again, I was wrong!!!! ;-)"
Joe Terranova: "While I have the ultimate respect for @herbgreenberg as a journalist, I have even more respect for him as a true class act and gentleman"

Jennifer Coolidge: ‘I hate Spanx’

"They're so tight, who knows what you're cutting off?"

7-year-old boy attacked by swarm of hornets

"It's a 'stop everything, drop and go' priority"

Herb Greenberg exits

"Today is my last day as a full-timer at CNBC. Tomorrow my status shifts to CNBC contributor. ... It's about Southern California. Many people thought my wife and I were crazy (no — nuts!) to leave San Diego, where we lived for 10 years, for the East Coast. Turns out they were right. This, our third time doing the East Coast stint, was strike three"

Gasparino: Steve Jobs would tell Carl ‘to pound sand’

"re icahn and apple: isnt co in middle of a buyback and doesnt it need $ to innovate? if this were steve jobs he'd tell carl to pound sand"
Challenge to Twitterer: "i bet whatever is in my pocket u have no idea why carl is doing what hes doing and probably neither does he"

Tacks incentive: Bicyclists in road feud suffer 50 flat tires

"It wasn't an accident"
Water tension: "Cyclists not obeying stop signs, riding more than 2 abreast and using people's garden hoses outside of their house without permission"

Sheryl Sandberg foundation editor seeking to hire unpaid intern

Critics: "Unpaid work, be it internships for young women or volunteer positions for older moms, is exploitive. Shame on lean in. Pay up"
Snarky defense: "Dear What Appears to Be My Entire Facebook Feed: Want to clarify previous Lean In post. This was MY post, on MY feed, looking for a volunteer to help me in New York. LOTS of nonprofits accept volunteers. This was NOT an official Lean In Job posting. Let's all take a deep breath"

Died: Jack Germond, 85, quit ‘McLaughlin Group’ with ‘Bye-Bye’ fax

Retired as columnist over disenchantment in 2000: "I really found this campaign odious. I just couldn't get up for it. The quality of the candidates and the campaign, I just found the whole thing second-rate. I didn't know how to explain to my granddaughter that I was spending my dotage writing about Al Gore and George W. Bush"

4,000 Cisco cuts are biggest Silicon Valley layoff of year

"We just have too much in the middle of the organization"

Vietnam forced to offer university marxism courses for free

"Students have been shunning such instruction because employers are not interested in it"

Motorist in stolen car killed by drunk driver

Neither driver wearing a seat belt

Man, 73, survives 115-foot fall in Hawaii volcano park

Hiker first thought cries for help might be prank

Potential buyer touring home leaves steam shower on

Seller: "The entire upstairs was almost like you were walking into smoke except it was steam. I was in shock ... Words can't even describe the situation I walked into. I immediately turned off the steam shower, opened up all the windows, all the doors and then began the process of restoration. ... It's a big un-forecasted remodel project"

Fuzzy Zoeller chokes up, ends kids charity tourney after 16 years

"You've got to turn it off sooner or later"
Craig Stadler: "I had a blast ... I've had a great time every year"

Red Skelton Museum draws nearly 1,000 visitors in first 3 weeks

Jamie Farr pays a visit to honor late friend

District paying $18,000 to fire teacher drunk on field trip

50-year-old woman passed out at end of visit to bowling alley

Cops: GameStop manager, accomplice faked holdup

Video: Pair shown talking hour earlier "in an apparently familiar manner inside the store"

Drunkard refuses cops’ offer of cab, is arrested at tavern

Subdued by bouncers; so intoxicated, police couldn't understand what he was saying

Man falls 65 feet from Turner Field deck, dies

"There is no indication of foul play and the fall appears accidental"

Mysterious decline in metro area’s casino revenues, guests

"The unseasonably cool weather may have played a role ... Still, gaming revenue has fallen every month this year, which could be a broader sign that would-be gamblers have less money to spend"

Man killed on hunting trip

Gun went off inside vehicle; victim died at scene

Patch rescinds offer to new hire on day he finds apartment

"I received a call that 'due to changing business needs' I would not be the Field Editor"

Golfer, 81, sinks 2 back-to-back holes-in-one

"I had 8 holes-in-one so I thought I saw everything, but never 2 in a row. Unbelievable"
"There is no way to calculate the odds on a par-3 course — not enough data"

Camp host falls over Sierra waterfall, dies

Was showing group of 6 campers how to slide down rocks to get to swimming hole: "The water is extremely cold and moving quickly, and those rocks are as slick as you can imagine"

Internet scam targets Tahoe

Fake postings on legit sites prompt renters to wire-transfer money

Steeler confronted at grocery by fan he blocked on Twitter

"Why did you block me on Twitter?" "You just answered your own question"
Gasparino's daily scorecard: "i need that shoe shine and while you're at it, a grande from starbucks thanks ... like u wld know ... are u really that dumb? ... cldnt care less ... like u wld know between shining my shoes ... ur coming close to getting blocked ... do they all dress as weirdly as u in fly over country? ... if i shld be fired its for responding to morons like u with 3 foloers ... didnt i block u already? either im slipping or im giving a trailer park exemption to haters ..."

Asiana shipping $10,000 to every air crash survivor

"Even if they are not hurt or they don't go to hospital, we will still give them this money"

AO-Hell: Tim Armstrong goes ballistic on conference call

"Abel, put that camera down. You're fired"

Parishioners in crime area afraid to attend church

"There was an altercation with a basketball game that, at the end of the day, these guys start shooting and this house of worship was riddled with bullets"

Died: Karen Black, 74, steered 747 in ‘Airport 1975’

Breakthrough role in "Easy Rider," cemented counterculture rep in "Five Easy Pieces"
Treatment: Husband's public appeal on crowd-sourcing site raised $60,000
Spiritual: Longtime adherent of Scientology; "It just works for me"
Regrets: Claimed A-list career was ruined by "The Day of the Locust"

Bill Ackman finds way to nudge HLF out of the business headlines

AP credits CNBC (Scott Wapner) for scoop on mysterious letter to the board

Leah Remini files missing-person report on Shelly Miscavige

"We can confirm that the missing person report has been taken"

Thief dresses in golf gear to rob elite country club locker room

"They had a nice little enterprise going there"

Ariel Castro moved immediately to ‘protective custody’

"He is not interacting with the general population"

Charlotte, N.C., won’t sever ties with Russian sister city over LGBT

"It would be unfair to penalize a municipality for legislation passed by Russia’s central government and it would be unfair to penalize all of Voronezh for violent acts committed by individual citizens"

Deputy opts to fire at rampaging bull

"It was the only tool I had that would make a difference, it was the only thing I could do"
Page from "Road House": "He says Rule No. 1 is always expect the unexpected"

Charlie: Pressure on Tim Cook

"job is safe but board worried about innovation and new products in the pipeline"

Shirley Jones memoir retracted over Joan Collins complaint

"We all make mistakes. I've made a few myself, but not with Mrs. Jones. I'm a serial monogamist"

Ex-pilot shipped bogus Asiana crew names to TV station

"Korean pilots’ actual names had been reported several days before the phony ones were read"

Malibu scion, 55, dies in hot-air balloon crash

Crashed into power line while landing; wife, daughters have life-threatening injuries
"He was an incredible gentleman": Land donation brought Pepperdine to Malibu in 1972

WaPost writer: Stock market thinks paper is worth $0

"Stock for our soon-to-be-former parent company, the Washington Post Company, is up about 6 percent, from $568 at the close of business Monday to more than $600 today ... And 6% of $4.4 billion is a bit more than $250 million"

Bezos didn’t have to agree to oversight panel, like Murdoch’s WSJ

Seems post-Bancroft committee griped about Marcus Brauchli exit, then just went away

Iowa City newspaper outsourcing Hawkeye coverage to Des Moines

"We have multiple sources confirming this"

Another expert suggests benefits of newspapers going private

"They need shelter from the pressure of quarterly financial statements and reports"

Yahoo’s latest bid to unlock value: new logo

"To get everyone warmed up, we are kicking off 30 days of change"

Gasparino frustrated by Carl’s Ackman claim

"Icahn: says his battle with ackman not personal 'thats not what i do' (give me a break)"

Al Roker oversleeps for first time in 39 years

Said his phone alarm just didn't go off

Pershing Square up 4% in 2013

"Yes, you can rattle off any number of ordinary investing vehicles that are doing better"

Going private suggested as positive for Bezos WaPost buy

"By taking it private, he won't be subject to shareholders seeking quick returns"
CNBCfix comment: Yes, it's demanding shareholders who have drained ad revenue

Man, 5 others accused of $10,000 ‘light wand’ video poker scheme

"By using this device, defendant Koster tricked the video poker machine into paying out winnings well in excess of those to which Koster was entitled"

Zuck’s attire makes 3rd graf of 2 immigration-reform stories

AP: "Wearing his trademark hoodie and sneakers"
S.F. Chronicle: "wearing his trademark hoodie and sneakers"

Mayor praises casino for weeding out ‘irresponsible’ gamblers

And what if he says "no"? "Mike Galle, the casino’s assistant general manager, said after the news conference that once casino employees identify a patron with a gaming problem, they will talk to him privately and ask him if he thinks he has a problem. If he says 'yes,' they will tell him about a statewide, voluntary exclusion program"

10 killings in 12 days in Salinas, Calif.

"There's no real way to find out what's motivating these guys to pick it up all of a sudden"

Diver, 71, dies cleaning bottom of yacht

Went under water with scuba gear, found 5½ hours later

Community colleges launching casino education curriculum

"Massasoit currently offers online course (sic) in blackjack and poker"

7 arrest in Oakland over prison hunger strike

"Ending group punishment, administrative abuse, providing adequate and nutritious food..."

Benefits gone: Newspaper puts staffers on 39-hour weeks

Family-owned publication called meeting, announced "big changes"

Died: John Palmer, 77, broke failed 1980 Iran rescue for NBC

News anchor for "Today" abruptly replaced by Deborah Norville in 1989, given her old job

Barry Ritholtz, Keith McCullough accuse each other of CNBC ban

Barry: "@KeithMcCullough @ReformedBroker We run an asset allocation model; we have no interest in day-to-day noise. Thats for traders, not investors"
Keith: "@ritholtz Barry, everyone knows you know everything - but we've made the best asset allocation calls of 2013"
Barry: "@KeithMcCullough I didn't ask you to pitch me your services on Twitter, and I don't appreciate your obnoxiousness."
Keith: "@ritholtz weak excuse for your envy of our success - our Macro Themes are intermediate to long-term, and you know it"
Keith: "Caps lock envy from the one and only Barry Ritholz - the most humble man on Old Wall @ritholtz"
Barry: "@KeithMcCullough Your smarmy attitude is the reason you are in the Fox News Ghetto (banned from CNBC & Bloomberg)"
Keith: "Its funny how these old wall bloggers make up their own truths - Ritholz was actually banned from CNBC, whereas I quit"
Barry: "@KeithMcCullough I was offered a contributor agreement and turned it down. So in addition to being a douchebag, you are a liar also"
Keith: "@ritholtz funny, because you told me yourself you were banned from Squawk Box, then you asked me how I got my deal"
Barry: "@jackpat22 No, those are facts. They made an offer -- in writing -- I said no thank you."
Keith: "Being called arrogant by a strong island jabroni just made my day"
Barry: "@KeithMcCullough No one is envious of you. If you were less smarmy and more tolerable, you would be less detested on Twitter."
Keith: "Today's pre-game to a made-up government number that no one can predict is brought to you by Barry's Big Picture"

CNBC’s Robert Frank takes heat for saying ‘chink in the armor’

"I wonder, you know, Peter, what do you think the chink in the armor here might be? That's what Zabel is so good at, is finding a chink in the pre-nups and all these trusts. What do you think they may be looking for to get more out of this divorce?"

Report: Sports betting world calls new CNBC reality star bogus

No one, and I mean no one, in the sports betting community I speak with knows who this guy is"
CNBC: "We are merely betting that viewers will be interested in the world of touts and handicappers and in no way endorse either Stevens’ picks or his business model"

Gasparino tripped up by candid revelation of aluminum thoughts

"I wanna tell you that I did not understand that story. OK, I read it 3 times ... I don't quite get the scam ... I read that story, how many times, I read it 5 times. Somehow, they manipulated the price of aluminum, I don't know how ..."
Orders shoe shine, tuna on rye from Twitter critics: "i luv the twitter hate mail i receive when one of my dopey comments makes the dailyshow: 20-something; under or unemployed probably stoned ... srsly i know my biz better than u; likewise i wont be telling u how to clean pools ... meanwhile before u come over w ur shine box i need a tuna sandwich from the diner as well ... i also hear steve needs someone to mow the SAC lawn that pay $4 an hr not bad for u ... i need my lunch delivered arnd noonish when u come by ill leave $1.50 tip on my desk hey its better than foodstamps ... i have blocked ur ass ... remember tuna on rye ... dude: prozac ... i see unemployment office closed early ur back on twitter ... are u fat? ... hey there are always dental implants ..."

CNBC reality venture: ‘We knew we were in for the bumpy ride’

"There's a lot of stuff out there, you have to be willing to take shots. And you have to be willing to say, hey that didn't work, let's move on. The commitment is as strong as ever"

Dominic Chu jumping from Bloomberg to CNBC

"What a day! Sad to be leaving @BloombergTV & very excited to be joining the team @CNBC! Tks for all the support! The best has yet to come!"

Gloria Steinem: Huma Abedin could have ‘Stockholm syndrome’

"I have no way of knowing whether Huma, for whom I have great respect, is responding out of new motherhood, the Stockholm syndrome or a mystery. I strongly object to holding one spouse responsible for the other’s acts. He's the one who should get out of the race"

Phish invites ‘asshole’ fans to stage, requests clarification

"We never hear that type of stuff from Trey these days, but there he goes, calling the 'fan holding up the sign' an asshole. ... So finally, the whole band asks this guy 'what do you mean by that' they just decide to give this guy a voice. To bring him on stage, and to give this fan, who is complaining to their face, a chance to make his case. ... They say they are from Philadelphia before saying 'Harpua is our favorite song, but you've been telling the story wrong.' ... One fan then mentions the emergence of Al Gore, before the rapping begins, and ends when one fan says 'I believe in women's right to choose.' ... Trey asks the audience if the 'fans told it right' or 'do I usually tell it right.' ... Trey kicks them off the stage, saying it was 'really weird...'"

Died: Bert Trautmann, 89, ex-German paratrooper POW won over U.K.

"He came as a soldier and war enemy to England and became a celebrated hero"
"There are fewer better examples of the power of football to build bridges than Bert Trautmann"

Cohen case: All feds have got, or start of something big?

Brad Bondi: "I think the fact that the SEC has gone first indicates that there is a, a less of a likelihood now that there'll be criminal charges against Steven Cohen. Usually, if there are criminal charges, the prosecution goes first with those charges. So the fact that the SEC's moving now should be a sigh of relief for him"
New York Times: "Though a legal deadline to file some insider trading charges is approaching, authorities are planning to navigate around that requirement by filing a broader criminal conspiracy case against SAC" ... "The meeting was separate from the agency’s typical weekly gathering to discuss enforcement cases, a measure that allowed the agency to keep a tight lid on the case." ... "'Please keep this to yourself as obviously not well known,' Mr. Horvath wrote. ... Three hours after the earnings release, Mr. Cohen e-mailed Mr. Steinberg: 'Nice job on Dell.'"
Bethany McLean: "There's something strange here ... I have been hearing whispers of something against the firm coming, coming, coming, criminally"
Ron Insana: "From the time that I was there and as you know it was only 5½ months, uh, both Peter Nussbaum, the general counsel, and, and Steve Kessler, the head of compliance had, had schooled me quite a bit in, in the strictures of, of compliance activity at SAC"
Bethany McLean: "When SAC makes a big deal about how strong their compliance is, when you look at the specifics of some of the e-mails surrounding these, these charges it does make you wonder, and what some people have, have alleged, that it is compliance in name rather than in, rather than in actuality. When you, when you look at some of the e-mails that were sent, you say, 'Well, why on earth didn't this raise red flags at SAC's Compliance Department if its Compliance Department is so good?' And the only answer I've gotten was that it was 2008 and that was a different time than, than today. But that's not really a satisfying answer"
Bloomberg: "'They face a very high burden of proof if they’re going to get some sort of conviction' of Cohen"
AP: "Coffee said it is significant that the SEC did not charge Cohen with insider trading. That suggests none of his subordinates 'flipped' and told investigators that they provided Cohen with information, he said. ... The actions could signal a new direction and strategy under SEC Chairman Mary Jo White, who assumed office in April"
WSJ: "His decision to keep buying trophy properties, even as his former employees and firm were facing charges, privately irked government officials"
Gasparino: "Mary Jo White making her mark: SEC didnt offer Cohen chance to settle ala Corzine, i am told"
Gasparino on CNBC: "also hate to tout brand-x but go back and look at preet's explanations about possible RICO charges against a hypothetical firm"
Andrew Ross Sorkin: "But the SEC case, I understand most lawyers who have seen it so far think it's actually a very, very strong case"
David Faber: "I think if the SEC is successful in this, with these civil charges ... it doesn't have the power to stop him from managing his own money ... Again, if the SEC is even successful in, um, in getting the conviction on the civil charges, much of SAC would still be intact potentially"
Ed Butowsky: "I'm not pulling any money out ... Since the mid-1990s, he has returned about 4,000% back to his investors. The, the trades that are in question right now, where he failed to supervise, represent $275 million. Now, that's a big number, but put it in the context, it's less than .005% of the gains that he has, uh, returned back to investors since the mid-1990s. So I have never thought about moving money out. Matter of fact, I've often thought about how can I get more money back to this wonderful investor"
Scott Wapner vs. Ed Butowsky: "You seem to be making the argument ... I don't know, money trumps morality. You don't care if he did anything wrong, his returns have been astronomical over the years"
Butowsky to Wapner: "Those are words that I didn't say, and I resent the way you're putting it"
Anthony Scaramucci: "I think at the end of the day, Steve is gonna have to make a decision which way to go ... this case is gonna go on for a while ... If we're on a witch hunt to nail somebody, and then we, we spend 10 years and we back 'em into a corner of failure to supervise, it doesn't seem like you have a guns-blazing case there, and I respect Steve for not settling"

Died: David McCourt, 71; wife, daughter, friend were on 9/11 jets

"Ruth and Juliana were my life and my passion. I was going to end it all. If faith could justify taking these two beautiful creatures, I just didn't want to go on. But something kept me going"

Died: Alan Whicker, 87, globe-trotting U.K. broadcaster

Wife: "A few years ago a poll asked who was the most envied man in the country — and Alan won by a country mile! He said that he didn't know where work ended and private life began. Quoting Noel Coward, he would say 'Work is more fun than fun'"

Jerry Bowyer: Larry Kudlow demanded market optimism

"Over time it became gradually more and more clear to me that my job was not to fight for certain principles, but to fight for Larry’s personal agenda. Although the show adopted The Kudlow Creed, 'I believe that free-market capitalism is the best path to prosperity,' that dogma was being supplanted by another more foundational creed: economic and market optimism. My job was to come on the air and make the bull case. ... More recently his columns have been praising the zero interest rate and 'unlimited easing' policies of the U.S. and Japanese central banks. This is free market capitalism? ... The constant pressure for optimism, producers calling and saying 'Larry's looking for the optimism case.' Larry putting formerly optimistic guests 'in the penalty box' for not providing it. Larry dropping good thinkers with good minds when they turned pessimistic. And even worse, those who stayed around, bending their minds and their principles to always find good news so they could continue in his good graces and get the publicity they needed"

Died: Edmund S. Morgan, 96, reinvented Colonial-era study

Gordon Wood: "When he was first writing, the dominant thinking among historians was that ideas didn't matter, that the founders only cared about the rich and that they didn't mean what they were saying about freedom and government. But Morgan started with the assumption that their ideas were to be taken seriously. He was really bucking the tide"


N.Y. Post: Kayla Tausche ‘in mix’ to take over Larry Kudlow slot

CNBC considering "rapid-fire talk show about stocks"

Died: Michael Hastings, 33, story ended McChrystal’s career

"Michael was a great, fearless journalist with an incredible instinct for the story"

Ex-CNBC host Nicole Lapin doing ads for Allstate

"Energy-efficient appliances, you can get a tax write-off for those"

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera:
‘Paul Tudor Jones said out loud what we all know to be anecdotally true,’ Karen Finerman is ‘exception that proves the rule’

Karen Finerman: "Well my first response was I just could not believe he said it. And so I, I wanted to make sure that I had it right, and I went and I looked at the video, and of course you just showed it, so yes, he said it, and, uh, I, I, I know, I know that he's apologized, that he didn't mean to offend anyone, and I believe he was saying it, he was- an attempt to be very candid, I can't believe also that he didn't think that will- would never get out, but it's sort of- I mean on so many levels, it makes me wonder, 1, what if you don't nurse, do you not then have that- are you, do you keep your judgment then if you don't nurse. That's sort of something that popped into my head"
Amanda Drury: "And also, is he also saying that global macro traders that are guys are not great dads because they're always off 24/7 on the phone trading stuff"
Karen Finerman: "Right, I just- I don't really accept that premise either. If you are a mother, I really sort of do wonder, how long this would knock you off your game for. And, it, I don't know, on so many levels, I know so many women, far more successful than I, who have done an extraordinary job of raising kids, and also, uh, you know, trading, trading their books"
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: "I think Paul Tudor Jones said out loud what we all know to be anecdotally true. That women, it's not that they don't have the ability, it's just, if they have a child, priorities tend to change. It takes up a lot of time. A child is a huge, huge commitment. And so-"
Amanda Drury: "And not necessarily a bad thing"
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: "It's not necessarily a bad thing, he's not saying that, that they can't do it, it's just, it gets a lot tougher. Priorities often change. And I think Karen, you are awesome, but you are the exception I think that proves the rule. Let's face it: How many other women are on 'Fast Money.' I mean when you look at the breakdown of people- when you look at the breakdown of people who are on CNBC. It's a guys-and-ties network. I mean let's not kid anybody!"
Karen Finerman: "Yes I hear you-"
Brian Sullivan ridiculously removes tie: "Here we go, no more guys in ties"
Karen Finerman: "Let me just add 1 thing"
Brian Sullivan: "I don't wanna get accused of dodging the conversation. All right, I know hedge fund managers that have what they call the large-house indicator. Right. What they say is, if they have an investment manager, or a fellow hedge fund manager, whatever, that starts to build a new mansion, they will often times use that- or CEO of a company, they'll use that as a negative and either get out of it or trim, because building a home is a year-long process, takes a lot of energy, you're not focused on what you're doing. So I don't think just has to be about gender. If you've got any big undertaking you take on, that reduces your focus. I'm not defending what he said-"
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: "Except this happens to be about having babies for women, which is just a huge thing in, in most women's life"
Brian Sullivan: "If I was a hedge fund manager and a CEO of a company bought a 200-foot yacht, I would sell the shares of that company probably short that next day"
Karen Finerman: "I mean also there's the private plane indicator, you get the private plane, you're not hungry anymore, then you don't care. I, I don't really buy that, I think it also makes the case that women don't have the judgment to know, after they've had a baby, whether or not they are still interested in being in the game. Now that may be his experience, and I believe him when he says that's what he's found to be true, and he gave a couple examples of a, you know, two women from Maryland the '70s, he probably has more recent examples than that, but is he just open to the possibility, the possibility, that maybe it's not true, that there will never be just as many women investors as men, never, period, end of story. Isn't it possible?"
Amanda Drury: "And the other thing is Karen, and you've touched on this, I mean, we would've said in the past, it would've been decades, maybe not even so long ago, we would've said that we can't have a good female doctor, she can't possibly be on call because she's got to be at home feeding her child at night. Right?"
Karen Finerman: "And now look. Now look, there are just as many women, or maybe it's about the same number of women graduating from medical school as men and you're right, years and years ago, that was thought as an impossibility"

Israeli Herbalife kingpin accused of running cult-like operation

"Rituals of confession and humiliation"

No charges for woman who apparently doctored bottles at Starbucks

"We don't feel that we can prove the she committed any crime"

Paul Tudor Jones: Babies zap women’s trading focus

"Every single investment idea . . . every desire to understand what is going to make this go up or go down is going to be overwhelmed by the most beautiful experience . . . which a man will never share, about a mode of connection between that mother and that baby. And I've just seen it happen over and over"
Dean insisted audience keep it off the record: "No quotes with attribution should leave the room. We must prohibit any discussion or description of the event in print or video, through electronic media or through Internet-based technologies including Web sites, blogs or social media, such as Twitter or Facebook"
Female hedge funder: "Given Paul's fine reputation, if the quote is accurate, I am stunned"
Clarification: "My off-the-cuff remarks at the University of Virginia were with regard to global macro traders, who are on-call 24/7 and of whom there are likely only a few thousand successful practitioners in the world today. Macro trading requires a high degree of skill, focus and repetition. Life events, such as birth, divorce, death of a loved one and other emotional highs and lows are obstacles to success in this specific field of finance"

Died: Chuck Muncie, 60, NFL greatness derailed by cocaine

Ripped league's addiction program: "That's what (ticked) me off for so long. I kept saying, 'What's wrong with this picture?' I needed help, and I got help from another program when I got out (of jail), but it wasn't from the NFL. Back then, the NFL program was a joke. They send you away for 30 days and when you're done they send you back to the same environment that got you there in the first place"

Angelina undergoes double mastectomy

"I can tell my children they don't need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer"

Critic: CNBC taps tiresome reality formula in ‘Crowd Rules’

"So unabashedly unoriginal, it just might work"

Died: Alan Abelson, 87, Barron’s stalwart for decades

Influence: Wrote "Up & Down Wall Street" since 1966
Training: Bachelor's in English and chemistry, CCNY, master's from Iowa Writers' Workshop
Litigation: Often sued, sometimes accused of conspiring with short sellers; "To the best of our knowledge, Barron's never lost a lawsuit while Alan was editor"
Tough: Filed 1975 libel suit against BusinessWeek over alleged leaks
Performance: 1995 study found stocks recommended in column outperformed by 2% on day appearing
Setback: Asked by Dow Jones to step down during redesign, agreed
Critic: "Though he is a clever and talented writer, by any objective standard Abelson has the distinction of being one of the worst market forecasters in history, He has been skeptical, if not outright bearish, on the stock market for his entire career as a Barron's columnist"
Homes: Split time between NYC apartment and Croton-on-Hudson
Successor: Randall W. Forsyth, who took over during 3-month medical leave

Marissa Mayer: on fire

Media mastery: "Why create a PR firestorm ... To create a storm of discussion and keep Yahoo in the news for a few news cycles … Perhaps, the press exposure was considered more valuable than any ill will this might create ... Case in point, we have the NYT, the Economist, and every tech blog on the planet … and a whole bunch of other companies coming out with statements about telecommuting, all of which constitute free press for Yahoo (the most they have gotten in years, even more than when Mayer was appointed CEO last year) …"
Prompted Karen Finerman essay: "Think about this: Have you ever been at the office and your boss is working from home? Can you honestly say that you work quite as hard, are just as diligent, and get just as much done as when your boss is there? Honestly, probably not"
September: Less traction from buying phones for employees, BlackBerry dis
Cute: "The overwhelming and immediate response was that yes, the blonde-haired-blue-eyed Mayer is, in fact, hot … It goes without saying that Mayer is brilliant. … But Mayer has always been savvy — leveraging both her brains and her beauty in the media ..."
"Gorgeous": "Young and personable to the point of investor fawning"
"Beautiful": "Blonde hair and blue eyes with an arresting smile; it seems likely Brian Wilson anachronistically wrote 'California Girls' about her"
Stock: Up 46% in 8 months since day of hiring announcement
Future candidate? Hosted President Obama at her home for $30,000-a-plate fund-raiser
Priorities: "For me it's God, family and Yahoo, in that order"

CNBCfix review: Not much behind Marriott’s closed doors in ‘Hotel’

Flat CNBC documentary struggles with visuals, overloads on corporate talking points

Today’s TV newswoman eschews business suits


Kayla Tausche refers to self as "anchor": "If you're esteemed, you can wear a bright-colored dress. But for younger anchors like myself, I worry that wearing bright colors might appear amateur. In classes, some of the clips professors are using to demonstrate a successful reel include interviews with Diane Sawyer from early '90s. You're supposed to focus on content, but students can't help but wonder, 'What was Diane Sawyer wearing? How can I re-create that?'"

Lone AAPL ‘sell’ analyst ‘taking a break from interviews’

Edward Zabitsky reportedly focusing on other parts of his business

Barton Biggs dies at 79

Obituary: Given $150,000 portfolio of 15 stocks at age 18, went to Yale
Wife was Judith Anne Lund, 3 children; marriage ended in divorce
Stephen Roach: "We were a U.S.-centric business, and within 3 years, he said, 'Look, I'm going to step down as U.S. strategist and redefine myself as a global strategist'"
Good calls: 1999 U.S. tech, "the biggest bubble in the history of the world," 1982 U.S. beginning major bull market, warned against Japan in 1989
Bad calls: "Blindsided" by 2008 credit crisis, sold stocks in September 2011 and July 2010 just before 20% S&P gains
Fiction: Regularly cited bullish plumber in 3 years worth of reports, acknowledged fabricating all quotes but "buy the dips" after Bloomberg identified plumber
CNBCer Josh Brown: "Barton Biggs was a giant, founded $MS Investment Mgmt, has been relevant since before many of us were even born. Godspeed. $$"

Ted Rones named CNBC mobile advertising sales director

Press release from boss Lou Tosto sounds kind of corporate-y: "With our large suite of mobile products and services growing in usage and scale at exponential rates, it became apparent that we needed a dedicated sales leader on board to help our clients best leverage the strength of CNBC’s unique cross-platform value proposition"

Maria Bartiromo’s ‘WSJ Report’ averages 45,000 CNBC viewers

Does much better on NBC outlets in syndication

Gasparino receives Italian-American honor in Yorktown Heights

"We welcome him to help us recognize the achievements of our scholarship winners and hope his success will inspire them ... probably sat in the very same seats in class, had some of the same teachers, played sports around town and worked after school at many odd jobs including washing dishes at the Silver Moon in town. Gasparino has always remembered where he came from. Through hard work and a drive to succeed, he made it. Young people need positive role models"

Hobbs scolds Cramer: ‘We do not have a Lehman situation’

Hobbs: "To tell people at home we have a Lehman situation is simply not correct"
Cramer: "No we're not there at this stage, but I think it's important to tell people that's what the scenario is ... I do know that there's large hedge funds that are concerned about the liquidity of banks and they're gonna try to do what they did here"
Hobbs: "... Hedge funds that are attempting to make money by destroying the equity of the banks and you're citing that as a golden light of what we should follow"
Cramer: "I never said that you should buy Bear Stearns I said it's OK to keep your money there"
Hobbs: "You told people to buy Bear Stearns. That's a very different argument"
Melissa Lee: "You guys are not really too far off"
David Faber: "Simon and Jim are both right"

CNBC stars wear American flag ties, scarves to honor Haines

Steve Grasso: "i am best efforts going to wear the american flag tie every friday"
Mandy Drury: "I'm joining the American flag tie brigade ... If you have one, wear one too"

CNBC legend Mark Haines passes away at age 65

N.Y. Post: Insider says felt ill Tuesday, left work early
Special Report: Erin Burnett takes part in CNBC hourlong tribute
Obituary: Wife, Cindy, reported death, at Marlboro, N.J., home, cause of death not released ... born April 19, 1946; grew up in Oyster Bay, N.Y. Graduate of Denison University (Granville, Ohio), 1969; law degree, University of Pennsylvania, 1989 ... member of the N.J. state bar ... 2 children, Matthew and Meredith
Pioneer: Joined CNBC in 1989, became first host of "Squawk Box"
Tribute: Traders on NYSE floor observe moment of silence
Mark Hoffman: "One of the building blocks of CNBC since the very beginning"
Sandy Cannold: "The toughest day I have ever had in my TV life"
Joe Kernen: "His fingerprints were on everything," finest hour 9/11 coverage
Jane Wells: "I'll miss his bluntness, his patriotism, his skepticism"
Barry Ritholtz: "A no-nonsense straight shooter. He knew what questions to ask and how to ask them. He was trained as an attorney. He brought that keen lawyer's eye to everything he did. It wasn't something often seen in the financial media"
Pete Najarian: "Mark was the best and just a solid pillar for us all from the exchange"
Mark Cuban: "I really enjoyed being interviewed by him. Smart. Witty. Quick. None better"
Kate Kelly: "A sad day at CNBC. Our thoughts and prayers are with Mark Haines's family"
Guy Adami: "I was fortunate enough to meet him ... A very sad day"
Sharon Epperson: "He found his way into the hearts of many of the traders here at the NYMEX"
Gary Kaminsky: "I'm probably not here if it's not for Haines ... I have admired his transparency, and the way he handles himself"
Herb Greenberg: "I thanked him for being the first one to get me on air here"
Matt Quayle: "Simply put, Mark Haines made my career"
Darren Rovell: "He was who many of you would have been if you had been on our air"
Darren Rovell: "Along with dinner tonight, CNBC staff will be treated to Cheetos & ketchup, one of Mark Haines' favorite combos. Great tribute"
Courtney Reagan: "Unbelievably sad day here at CNBC"
Nicole Lapin: "Mark Haines, you've inspired me to be a fine business journalist"
Melissa Lee: "Whenever he walked in, he sort of just made everybody smile"
Melissa Francis: "My favorite memory, his steel cage death matches with Arianna Huffington"
Steve Grasso: "The absence of the 9am call ... 'Live from the financial capitol of the world' will be a constant reminder of the loss of mark haines"
Jon Najarian: "Such a fun guy, truly enjoyed each talk with Mark"
Bertha Coombs: "This is a guy who didn't put on airs. He came to work in ratty sweatpants and god-awful bright-colored Crocs. He didn't suffer fools, but at the end of the day he really was always fair"
Rebecca Jarvis: "Mark Haines was the best - he always made me laugh and think. I will miss him dearly and my thoughts & prayers go to his family"
Carl Quintanilla: "Words can't describe our loss at the passing"
Mary Thompson: "He was a masterful interviewer, our best I always thought"
Ron Insana: "Mark had a style ... he called it the way he saw it"
Sue Herera: "Mark's legacy will be the way he challenged all of us to be better at what we do ... He was also an incredibly kind man"
Tyler Mathisen: "There was no phoniness about him, no pretense, no self-consciousness"
Bill Griffeth: "He loved his family ... So many CEOs, politicians ... who Mark interviewed over the years and was especially hard on, many of them are the ones coming in and saying, 'I grieve along with everybody else'"
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera: "We're just gonna miss him so dearly ... I think he'd be mortified that we spent so much time talking about him"
NYSE: "Mark was an outstanding professional and pioneer in business journalism, and we are proud that his legacy includes years of excellence in reporting from the NYSE"
Charles Gasparino: "For all my battles at cnbc i never battled mark haines; a class act thru and thru. i used to call him the real chairman of the board; RIP"
David Faber: "Skill as an interviewer coupled with his wonderful wit, that I will miss the most"
Larry Kudlow: "Unspeakably sad passing of my CNBC pal Mark Haines.Great broadcaster. Total pro. Sharpest questions. Sincere condolence to his family. RIP"
Amanda Drury: "I watched Mark Haines from Asia, well before I met him, and thought, 'I want to be a journo like that.' He didn't put up with nonsense. RIP."
Erin Burnett: “He made it clear he accepted me from the get-go. He treated me as an equal. He made me feel important ... He loved to do things for his kids. He was always on the Web looking for things his kids might like”
Jim Cramer: "Mark Haines was our Huntley, our Brinkley, our Cronkite all rolled up into one giant of a business journalist. He was the first business journalist ever to ask a CEO a hard question that I had ever seen. When I met him 15 years ago, I was scared to death of him. I was a guest co-host. He said to me when he shook my hand, 'No free passes, to you or anyone else.' He stayed that way. Forever"
Maria Bartiromo: "Mark Haines was a true hero. His coverage of 9/11 was historic. He handled the adversity incredibly well. He will be missed by all"

Erin Burnett, at CNBC since 2005, jumps to CNN

Network: "Erin is the kind of all-star player that knows how to connect-the-dots"
Anchor: "I began my journalism career at CNN, so this is like coming home for me"
34 years old: "We are going to develop a show with her and for her"
Pop: Time Warner shares gain 1.7% on the day

Joe Battipaglia: ‘Gentle giant,’ ‘very generous guy,’ dies at 55

Chief investment strategist at Stifel Nicolaus was CNBC pundit since network inception
Barron's: "Died on Thursday of a heart attack, Fox Business News reported"
Son Jeff star tackle for Naval Academy: "He's been a model Midshipman. He's done well academically. He's excelled at every phase of the academy"
Navy community loss: "Joseph and Mary Ann Battipaglia never missed a road game"
Doug Kass: "I knew Joe well ... He will be badly missed"
Neil Cavuto: "The gentle giant ... who never forgot ... the little guy"
Obituary: Died at 55, was at Georgia speaking engagement
Last CNBC.com video April 8: With Jim Iuorio and Doug Roberts on "The Kudlow Report," said, "You continue to buy this profit season. You continue to watch for the U.S. economy and the global economy to expand, to absorb the higher cost of energy; nobody likes it ... you have to continue to buy this market." Favorite investments: "Industrials, the energys and materials still work."

CNBC asks Dennis Gartman if he called Buffett an ‘idiot’

Commodities king laughs off report, calls Oracle's 45% loss "inexcusable ... poor trading"
Told Brent Hunsberger of Oregonian in June: ‘Warren Buffett is an idiot’
Responded to reader critics at Oregonian site: "Last year I did indeed lose money... 2%.
Other than that, for the previous 14 years I've averaged about +12%, with 22% as my best year.
... I'm also long of Goldman Sachs and Loews while short of Berkshire Hathaway for the past
two months, and have added to that trade along the way as the profits have built up."
Ignored? Days later, CNBCfix was only media site to pick up jaw-dropping Oregonian story
Jeff Macke on BRK-B short: "Congratulations to Dennis Gartman, who saw this coming"

Time to put Yankees-Mets, Cubs-White Sox in same divisions

CNBCfix exclusive: Baseball needs to scrap "leagues" and give fans intra-city rivalries

CNBCfix review: 1 hour not nearly enough for Burnett in Africa

Overreaching documentary shows strengths, weaknesses of anchor, could use Tim Seymour

Does New York Times believe its own ‘Weekender’ ad?

One sentence by arrogant chap deserves scrutiny for puffery at the expense of logic

CNBCfix review: ‘Oprah Effect’ is missing one thing: Oprah

Carl Quintanilla has some interesting stories, but lacks comment from Queen of Talk herself

Couple did ‘3 months of due diligence’ before investing with Stanford

CNBCfix review: Scott Cohn's "Secrets of the Knight" has good but unfocused material

CNBCfix review: ‘Run for the Roses’ feels like a one-trick pony

Outsourced CNBC original with Melissa Francis mostly seems like promo for NBC broadcast

CNBCfix review: Darren Rovell makes the sale in ‘As Seen on TV’

Doesn't dig as deep into infomercial ads as it could, but cuts like a Ginsu knife

Three reasons why NFL Draft is bad for players, fans, league

CNBCfix exclusive: It doesn't provide "competitive balance," but manipulates stars

CNBCfix (slightly) makes the news — in the lede graf!

All from Jared Bernstein's fee: Consider Tony Paradiso a must-read at nashuatelegraph.com

Maxim apparently gives Michelle Caruso-Cabrera the cold shoulder

Becky Quick, Erin Burnett, Trish Regan appear to make hot list, with nod to Maria Bartiromo

Margaret Brennan receives 2009 Young Leaders Irish Spirit Award

(Ex-)CNBC reporter/Arabic scholar/beauty praised by philanthropic American Ireland Fund

CNBCfix review: David Faber’s ‘House of Cards’ a home run

Impressive documentary of mortgage collapse will appeal to the pros and the laymen

CNBCfix review: ‘Marijuana Inc.’ weeds out a lot of context

Lackluster documentary is decent, but Trish Regan puts on a fashion show

Cruise line trades access for advertising in ‘Cruise Inc.’

CNBC travel correspondent Peter Greenberg digs into Norwegian Pearl's financials

        CNBCfix.com ©2014

Fast Money review

Karen has a curious idea for an Ebola trade

Larry Kudlow’s
powerful sign-off

Photos, transcript from final episode of "The Kudlow Report"

CNBCfix.com special report: CNBC ‘Fast Money’ trader positions often go undisclosed

♦ Daily online recaps often omit certain traders' holdings, appear voluntary, unenforceable, no requirement for accuracy or timeliness, no description of the size of position or whether positions are for clients or traders' own accounts

CNBCfix reviews

Scott Wapner, "Hotel: Behind Closed Doors at Marriott": Reservations about this flat profile

Melissa Francis, Diary of a Stage Mother's Daughter: A Memoir Pangs of child scardom linger for a remarkably successful woman

Joe Terranova, Buy High, Sell Higher: Why Buy-And-Hold is Dead And Other Surprising Investing Lessons From CNBC's 'The Liquidator' Trader austerity bible could stand a haircut in pages, title

Steve Cortes, Against the Herd: 6 Contrarian Investment Strategies You Should Follow: How to not buy stocks and come out ahead

Leah McGrath Goodman, The Asylum: The Renegades Who Hijacked the World's Oil Market: How swashbuckling oil traders make life miserable for exchange chairmen

Phil LeBeau, "Dreamliner": Bumpy ride through recent Boeing turbulence is a bust

Scott Wapner, "The Coffee Addiction": Pour yourself a cup of capitalism

Lester Holt, "The Facebook Obsession": 500 million users, 0 legislator complaints

Scott Cohn, "Price of Admission": College found to be expensive

Trish Regan, "Marijuana USA": For recreational purposes only

Gary Kaminsky, Smarter Than the Street: Sticking it to the big guys

Scott Cohn, "Remington Under Fire": If gun is so unreliable, why does military buy it?

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, You Know I'm Right: If she's right, she should run

Felix Rohatyn, Dealings: A rainmaker has no hostility toward the takeover business

John Heilemann & Mark Halperin, Game Change: Was Obama that great, or everyone else just lousy?

Anthony Scaramucci, Goodbye Gordon Gekko Do the right thing, millionaire-style

Alan "Ace" Greenberg, The Rise and Fall of Bear Stearns Auditing Jimmy Cayne's income statements

Charles Gasparino, The Sellout: Impressive chronicle, dubious title, lacks chutzpah

David Faber, "Goldman Sachs: Power and Peril": Just as hedged on TV as in the mortgage market

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, "Liquid Assets": Water documentary runs a bit dry

Carl Quintanilla, "Trash Inc.": Some of the better garbage you'll see on TV

Carl Quintanilla, "Crime Inc.: Counterfeit Goods": Where are the DVDs and software, Carl?

Scott Wapner, "One Nation, Overweight": Lite on substance, if not calories

"The Pixar Story": In prime-time search, CNBC finds a great business story

Trish Regan, "Marijuana Inc.": OK documentary, tremendous fashion show

Maria Bartiromo, "Inside the Mind of Google": Best thing that ever happened to Paul Bond Boots

Ron Insana, How to Make a Fortune From the Biggest Bailout in U.S. History: Schadenfreude victim rallies late

Zachary Karabell, Superfusion: Good case studies, more observation than argument

David Faber, And Then the Roof Caved In: Fine writing, too much Greenspan, lacks protagonist

Carl Quintanilla, "The Oprah Effect": Good biz bios, but missing one thing: Oprah

Movie review:
‘Wall Street’

Gordon Gekko:
The Michael Corleone
of Wall Street

CNBCfix capsules:
Movie of the week

♦ Bonnie and Clyde
♦ Rain Man
♦ The Paper Chase
♦ The Cooler
♦ Giant & There Will Be Blood
♦ Return of the Jedi
♦ Rocky II
♦ The Last Picture Show & Friday Night Lights
♦ She's Out of My League
♦ Con Air

Relevant scribes

Maria Bartiromo
Henry Blodget
Josh Brown, Reformed Broker
John Carney
Art Cashin
Jim Cramer
Niall Ferguson
Bill Fleckenstein
Jon Friedman
Charles Gasparino
Brent Hunsberger
Ron Insana
Zachary Karabell
Paul Krugman
Larry Kudlow
Howard Kurtz
Sarah Lacy
Jeff Macke
Dr. J, Jon Najarian
Tony Paradiso
James Pethokoukis
Barry Ritholtz
Jim Romenesko
Michael Santoli
Steven M. Sears
A. Gary Shilling
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Joe Weisenthal

CNBC/cable TV
star bios

♦ Jim Cramer
♦ Charles Gasparino
♦ Amanda Drury
♦ Maria Bartiromo
♦ Lawrence Kudlow
♦ Karen Finerman
♦ Michelle Caruso-Cabrera
♦ Jon Fortt
♦ Jane Wells
♦ Erin Burnett
♦ David Faber
♦ Guy Adami
♦ Pete Najarian
♦ Jon Najarian
♦ Tim Seymour
♦ Zachary Karabell
♦ Becky Quick
♦ Joe Kernen
♦ Nicole Lapin
♦ Herb Greenberg
♦ John Harwood
♦ Steve Liesman
♦ Margaret Brennan
♦ Bertha Coombs
♦ Mary Thompson
♦ Trish Regan
♦ Melissa Francis
♦ Gary Kaminsky
♦ Anthony Scaramucci
♦ Kate Kelly
♦ Dennis Kneale
♦ Darren Rovell
♦ Carl Quintanilla
♦ Julia Boorstin
♦ Diana Olick
♦ Robin Meade
♦ Matt Lauer
♦ Katie Couric
♦ Dylan Ratigan
♦ Eric Bolling
♦ Jeff Macke
♦ Julie Chen
♦ Anderson Cooper
♦ Erica Hill
♦ Neil Cavuto
♦ Liz Claman
♦ Rebecca Jarvis
♦ Monica Crowley
♦ Bill O'Reilly
♦ Rachel Maddow
♦ Susie Gharib
♦ Jane Skinner
♦ Kimberly Guilfoyle
♦ Martha MacCallum
♦ Courtney Friel
♦ Uma Pemmaraju
♦ Michelle Kosinski
♦ Joe Scarborough
♦ Terry Keenan
♦ Betsy Stark
♦ Chrystia Freeland
♦ Natasha Curry
♦ Jeffrey Kofman
♦ Jane Velez-Mitchell
♦ Debbye Turner Bell
♦ Christine Romans

CNBC guest bios

♦ Meredith Whitney
♦ Dennis Gartman
♦ Bill Gross
♦ Diane Swonk
♦ Richard X. Bove
♦ Nouriel Roubini
♦ Arthur Laffer
♦ Jared Bernstein
♦ Doug Kass
♦ David Malpass
♦ Kevin Kerr
♦ Donald Luskin
♦ Robert Reich
♦ Steve Moore
♦ Vince Farrell
♦ Joe LaVorgna
♦ A. Gary Shilling
♦ Joe Battipaglia
♦ Barry Ritholtz
♦ Peter Navarro
♦ John Kilduff
♦ Chris Thornberg
♦ Addison Armstrong
♦ Jack Bouroudjian
♦ Stefan Abrams
♦ Peter Morici
♦ Michael Crofton
♦ David Kotok
♦ Jerry Bowyer
♦ Robert Pavlik
♦ Warren Buffett

President Obama

Keynote address, 2004
Democratic convention
In Pennsylvania,
"cling to guns, religion"

George W. Bush

Visits firefighters at
Ground Zero, 9/14/01
World leader pop quiz
from Andy Hiller
Speech to nation
on evening of 9/11

Sarah Palin

The Bush Doctrine,
with Charles Gibson

and jingles in

Where did they
go to college?

Supreme Court

Death tolls of
world events